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Posted

It's an easy enough out--"oh, I was planning on going to evening service that day"

Nice try pal. They don't have evening services. The poisonous snakes that they use in their rituals are not nocturnal creatures.

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Posted

TRBJ - She sounds like a nice gal...now that she's shaking your balls in her hand like dice, maybe you can ask her to return them for the Jags game.

 

:)

Posted (edited)

Nice try pal. They don't have evening services. The poisonous snakes that they use in their rituals are not nocturnal creatures.

Whoa, no way!

 

My church uses constrictors in the evening service. :lol:

 

Seriously though--I used to hit evening service when I wanted to do other stuff Sunday morning, then my pastor told me that, in his opinion, God doesn't really care what day I go to church.

 

So now I go on Tuesday nights.

Edited by thebandit27
Posted

She said she likes college football, but isn't really into the NFL. College games are more fun and the NFL is too greedy. What better team to fetcher hooked on than a team whose owner went out of his way to stay and assure that they stay in the city despite offers to move to a much more profitable city? Also, we party as hard, if not harder, than most colleges.

Posted

She said she likes college football, but isn't really into the NFL. College games are more fun and the NFL is too greedy. What better team to fetcher hooked on than a team whose owner went out of his way to stay and assure that they stay in the city despite offers to move to a much more profitable city? Also, we party as hard, if not harder, than most colleges.

Your balls just called. They miss you.

Posted

I don't talk football with her really. But she came across an old picture of me. 50 pounds and a year and a half ago, drunk and shirtless in Zubaz singing karaoke. So naturally I had to explain. She's willing to come to the backers bar at least for the fun as long as I stay relatively sober, and keep my shirt on. She even understands the postloss pout, and can accept it as long as I don't take it out on her.

Posted

I don't talk football with her really. But she came across an old picture of me. 50 pounds and a year and a half ago, drunk and shirtless in Zubaz singing karaoke. So naturally I had to explain. She's willing to come to the backers bar at least for the fun as long as I stay relatively sober, and keep my shirt on. She even understands the postloss pout, and can accept it as long as I don't take it out on her.

Sounds like yall are getting pretty serious planning your future together.

Posted

Hey guys... I think we should all say our goodbyes to TRBJ... He's gone.... Kitty whipped and he hasn't even caught a real whiff of it.... Smh... Good bye TRBJ, it was good times when you had your balls....

Posted

She is planning his future. No more touching himself.. It's all down hill now. Tell her you want to party at theY

Posted

Nah. She has no problem with TBD like Brown Sugar did. She actually finds it kind of cute. I just have a new job where I have to do actual work now.

Whatever you say BF.

Posted (edited)

Think about how perfect this timing is? Like, what if the Sabres were actually good this year, and made it deep into the playoffs? I'd be way too busy watching the games. And if by chance I did meet her, I'd be too stressed out start any sort of relationship. But no, they suck so I have no sports related stress till September when the Buffalo Bills start. By that point, she will know me enough, and be too attached to just leave after my first post loss pouting session.

Edited by The Real Buffalo Joe
Posted

Think about how perfect this timing is? Like, what if the Sabres were actually good this year, and made it deep into the playoffs? I'd be way too busy watching the games. And if by chance I did meet her, I'd be too stressed out start any sort of relationship. But no, they suck so I have no sports related stress till September when the Buffalo Bills start. By that point, she will know me enough, and be too attached to just leave after my first post loss pouting session.

Unless of course you scorch the cookies, then you will be a free agent by next week

Posted

Think about how perfect this timing is? Like, what if the Sabres were actually good this year, and made it deep into the playoffs? I'd be way too busy watching the games. And if by chance I did meet her, I'd be too stressed out start any sort of relationship. But no, they suck so I have no sports related stress till September when the Buffalo Bills start. By that point, she will know me enough, and be too attached to just leave after my first post loss pouting session.

 

Welcome to hell. Hopefully yours is 15 years shorter than mine was.

Posted

Nah. She has no problem with TBD like Brown Sugar did. She actually finds it kind of cute. I just have a new job where I have to do actual work now.

I will translate for everyone:

 

"She hates TBD along with all other good things in my life, she likes to monopolize my time and change me into the person that SHE wants me to be. She gets really pissed when I tell people about it, so we wit down together and come up with elaborate stories and/or excuses that seem plausible so nobody thinks that she's the "bad guy"... This is me crying out for help- somebody.... Please.... ANYBODY!!! HOWWWWAAAARRRDDDD!!"

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