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Dear Howard,


Beerball

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Chef James You remind me of my older brother Charles. He's 87 but refuses to get with the times. The internets is a band of wires that branch throughout the sky and you talk real loud or type real fast and the electric currents run the messages to friends and relatives. The mobilizers here told me to use smiley faces and be pleasant when I interact with others so I cant threaten anyone with a bloody lip anymore. I think it makes sense to treat everyone here like they are old people (over 90). Young guys like me still respect our elders.

 

mr mead. Are you older than me? Do you like Lake Country Red in the gallon. It's expensive to ship it because the glass jug weighs a ton and as a veteran of the service, I know my brethren don't want to carry a 10 pound jug of wine around the route each day.

20 years younger. Any wine is fine. You can get it in a box?

 

Speaking of box. When is the last time you put it in the box?

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I think Howard is real. This has gone on long enough. Howard...show yourself.

I think Howard is s relative of Jimmy Spags - maybe Jimmy's illegitimate Dad. They use the same sentence structure and cadence in their writing.

Doesn't Beerball have an illegitimate son on this board?

Edited by WotAGuy
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Meanwhile, back on topic...

 

Dear Howard,

My boss, codename onceacharacter, is really mean to me. He sells my services to raunchy women and does not show me any respect. What would a United States Carrier of the Post do in this situation?

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Mr Ball. I've given advice to my kids all their lives. Roger still comes over to talk while we sit on the front porch and watch the neighbkrhood kids walk up and down the walk. They always have those calculators in their hands pressing buttons. I tell them to count on their fingers like we all did at that age. This guy that is abusing you. He sounds like a punk. Why do you have to follow his orders? I used to follow orders from my superintendent but when he was bangin the assistant clerk, I got my route changed from the east side (over where that Cletus kid grew up) to Williamsville. Keep doing what youre doing until the bastard !@#$s up. Then pounce on him quicker than flies on ****.

 

Have to go now. Shirl and me are hitting Tim Hortons for coffee and chicken salad.

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Dear Howard,

 

You're always threatening to punch someone in the mouth. Where do you think this violence stems from? Did your father not hug you enough as a child? You should try therapy. Maybe watch some Dr. Phil and learn non violent, more constructive ways to deal with conflict.

 

TRBJ

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I can see all of your smartass comments you little punks. Mr Mead thinks his comments dont hurt but they do. I was named after a very famous town councilman so my name has panash. And Clitis doesnt talk to Shirl because we are on a local calling plan so there's no way she could call him in Provincetown RI.

 

Realjoe. If you had little smartasses calling you out all day youd punch them in the nose too. I can take any one of these "men". They don't know what tis like to deliver pounds of mail to the same addresses almost every single day. Shirl's advice is to stay nice but I'm at witts end.

 

I am going out to pick dandelions off the front grass. Send me a private message if you want to talk or give me your address so I can make things right.

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Dear Howard,

 

You're always threatening to punch someone in the mouth. Where do you think this violence stems from? Did your father not hug you enough as a child? You should try therapy. Maybe watch some Dr. Phil and learn non violent, more constructive ways to deal with conflict.

 

TRBJ

Your avatar makes me want to punch someone in the mouth, luckily the caption above it makes everything right in the world.

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