\GoBillsInDallas/ Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 So, I'm looking at a cover letter and two-page resume, from which I've been able to extract the following buzzwords and phrases: adaptive align leadership behaviors bucketize building teams business development collaborative approach contract management conversationing marketing cross-platform c-suite Customer-focused dedicated business partner Directional Accuracy driving growth Excellent communication Extensive and diverse experience growth hacking headwind ideation innovative leader Leadership Strategist living document mydeation Operational Excellence Pre-revenue principle-centered problem solving profitability program management project execution proven expertise remarketing results-driven staff development successful leadership Thought Leader total quality value-driven Impressive, no? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Real Buffalo Joe Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 So I didn't get the job? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Tom Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Given that "contract management" is an actual, real thing, I don't know that it counts as a mere buzzword. And "bucketize" can't be a buzzword, since it's not even a real !@#$ing word. How many pages is this resume? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Real Buffalo Joe Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Given that "contract management" is an actual, real thing, I don't know that it counts as a mere buzzword. And "bucketize" can't be a buzzword, since it's not even a real !@#$ing word. How many pages is this resume? http://www.dailyfinance.com/2011/02/20/buzzword-of-the-week-bucketize/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Bucketize?.......BUCKETIZE??.......!@#$ing BUCKETIZE??? You'd get your ass booted from my interview if that was on your resume. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Tom Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Bucketize?.......BUCKETIZE??.......!@#$ing BUCKETIZE??? You'd get your ass booted from my interview if that was on your resume. At least they'd get the interview. Though knowing you, it would only be to kick them out for using the "word" "bucketize." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 At least they'd get the interview. Though knowing you, it would only be to kick them out for using the "word" "bucketize." Am I really that transparent? You asked how long the resume was and that was my thought too. I hate when I have a bunch of resumes to review and they're all 5 pages long. We've changed our strategy and are interviewing recent grads for more of an intern type program. One page resume with 24 font and half of is just where they went to school. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gugny Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 After the majority of the crap resumes I've been knee-deep in, I'd welcome some buzzwords at this point. But man ... that's a record for one person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cugalabanza Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Stuff like this makes me feel sad and lonesome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4merper4mer Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 I'm just impressed that the guy put all the buzzwords in his resume alphabetically. Imagine how much structured thought that must have taken. wtf is mydiation? Is that mediation with a little selfishness sprinkled in? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Poojer Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 don't hate the players...hate the game....hiring managers, hr folks etc all speak that language and ask questions using that exact language...those of us that are or have been in the job market simply adapt to this language to try and show them we speak their language....granted words like bucketize are out there, but adaptability, align etc are all very commonplace and appropriate words in corporate culture. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 don't hate the players...hate the game....hiring managers, hr folks etc all speak that language and ask questions using that exact language...those of us that are or have been in the job market simply adapt to this language to try and show them we speak their language....granted words like bucketize are out there, but adaptability, align etc are all very commonplace and appropriate words in corporate culture. I interview/hire all the time and I guaran!@#$ingtee I don't use those word. I like to throw curses with things like "so, tell me about yourself." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Jokeman Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 Bucketize?.......BUCKETIZE??.......!@#$ing BUCKETIZE??? You'd get your ass booted from my interview if that was on your resume. Bucketize? Sounds like something you put on your resume for KFC. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azalin Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 It's not much of a collection of buzzwords without including 'custom tailored solutions', 'paradigm', or 'wheelhouse'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BringBackFergy Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 My resume would include terms like "level headed approach to IPA selection", "able to leap tall leggo buildings", "euphemism specialist", "frequent lavatorian", or "mid-day reclined meditation expert". Good conversation pieces. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plenzmd1 Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 (edited) Okay, I have googled to no avail What is conversationing marketing ? ? Edited April 22, 2015 by plenzmd1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 Okay, I have googled to no avail What is conversationing marketing ? ? Wanna buy a duck?!? You're buzzwordhead missed one. I just got this email. GAMIFICATION BABY!! Dear Jim, Are you familiar with 'gamification'? It's the use of 'game thinking' and 'game mechanics' in non-game contexts to motivate and engage. It works. A recent survey of the Fortune 2000 reported that a majority of companies used, or were looking at gamification solutions to generate higher performance from their sales teams and employees. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Tom Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 Wanna buy a duck?!? You're buzzwordhead missed one. I just got this email. GAMIFICATION BABY!! Dear Jim, Are you familiar with 'gamification'? It's the use of 'game thinking' and 'game mechanics' in non-game contexts to motivate and engage. It works. A recent survey of the Fortune 2000 reported that a majority of companies used, or were looking at gamification solutions to generate higher performance from their sales teams and employees. It's called "game theory." Anyone who calls it "gamification" doesn't know **** about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 It's called "game theory." Anyone who calls it "gamification" doesn't know **** about it. But gamificaion is hip, current so 2015 man. Get with the buzzword lingo!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
\GoBillsInDallas/ Posted December 4, 2015 Author Share Posted December 4, 2015 Just finished going through another two-page resume and cover letter: adaptive optimization c-suite leveraging c-suite valuation conversation marketing dashbord optimization data performance allocation dynamic efficiency control engagement utilization and optimization functional flows liaisoned mydeation onboarding optimization operations chair proactive targeting real-world expertise and goal strategist remarketing results-driven roadmap strategies self-intuitive staff utilization and leverization strategic alignment strategic thinker synergy thought leadership value added Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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