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I Am So Screwed


Chef Jim

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I just received this email. Now it came to my work email as opposed to my gmail account where these things usually go and was not picked up by my spam filter. It's also from the FBI and I'm worried. I've highlighted the part below that really has me worried. Any advice on what to do? I know I shun advice on message boards as silly and futile but this has me freaked out. Help!

 

For Your Kind Attention.
This is an official advice from the FBI foreign remittance/telegraphic dept. it has come to our notice that bank of Nigeria has released us$8m to BANK OF AMERICA in your name as the beneficiary, The bank Nigeria knowing fully well that they do not have enough facilities to effect this payment from Nigeria to your account, They used what we know as a “secret diplomatic transit payment” (S.T.D.P) to pay this fund through wire transfer, but this means of transfer can not reflect to your account as this was wrong method of transfer.
So to this regards we are contacting you to provide the proof of this us$8m you are about to receive is a clean money by sending FBI Identification Record and also Diplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer(DIST) to satisfy that the money you are about to receive is legitimate and real money. You are to forward the documents to us immediately, and if you don't have it in your possession, do let us know so that we will direct and inform you where to obtain the document and send to us so that we will ask the bank holding your funds to go ahead Crediting your account immediately.
Get back to us immediately if you don't have the document so that we will inform you the particular place to obtain the document because we have come to realize that the fund was transfer without provision of Identification Record and Diplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer (DIST) often referred to as a Criminal History Record or Rap Sheet, is a listing of certain information taken from fingerprint submissions retained by the FBI in connection with arrests and, in some instances, federal employment,naturalization, or military service. These conditions is Valid only for few days after we shall take actions on canceling the payment and then charge you for illegally moving funds out of Nigeria.
Get back to us now with requirement.
--------------------------------------------------------
WARNING: failure to produce the above requirement in the next 72 hours, legal action will be taken immediately by arresting and detaining you, if found guilty, you will be jailed. As terrorism, drug trafficking and money laundering is a serious problem in our community today. The F.B.I will not stop at any length in tracking down and prosecuting any criminal who indulge in this criminal act. FORWARD THE DOCUMENT TO US VIA EMAIL ATTACHMENT AS SOON AS YOU OBTAIN IT.
Thanks
FBI Director
James B. Comey
CC: Robert S. Mueller III.
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This sounds like a scam

 

 

CBF

 

 

No can't be. These all come to my gmail account and get caught by the spam filter. This came to my work email and didn't go into my spam. Besides it's from the FBI not from someone like Alhaji Suleiman Barau or Mary someone. BTW why are they always Mary?

yikes dude. that's gonna ruin your weekend

 

My weekend?!?!?! My life!! :cry:

 

BTW not only is it from the FBI but the director of the FBI himself!! :(

Edited by Chef Jim
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You are soooo !@#$ed. I received one from the dethroned Prince of Nigeria last year, sent in my social security number, License and date of birth with $3500 processing fee so they can send me $9.5 million.

 

Sorry about your predicament.

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I'd immediately call the Grammar F.B.I. (this butchery is far too serious for the local grammar police) and let them know that numerous grammar felonies were committed in this email.

 

As an alternative, you could forward your complaint and your social security number to me and I'd be happy to take care of it for you.

 

Get back to me now with requirement. :lol:

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You are soooo !@#$ed. I received one from the dethroned Prince of Nigeria last year, sent in my social security number, License and date of birth with $3500 processing fee so they can send me $9.5 million.

 

Sorry about your predicament.

 

Well you're just an idiot. Everyone knows the Nigerian Prince things are a scam. Common man this is the FB fricken I

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Been nice to know ya Chef, looks like you be jailed on terrorism charges on Friday. My advise would be to send them a mail and see if you could by chance send them some money now, like $5G to get the correct documents, prove you are not a terrorist, and then collect he $8M. Sounds like your only option.

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I'd immediately call the Grammar F.B.I. (this butchery is far too serious for the local grammar police) and let them know that numerous grammar felonies were committed in this email.

 

As an alternative, you could forward your complaint and your social security number to me and I'd be happy to take care of it for you.

 

Get back to me now with requirement. :lol:

 

Oh laugh it up funny boy. You're not the one scrambling to pull the information together to keep from going to jail.

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And they want me to send them this. Identification Record and also Diplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer(DIST). I don't even know what these things are. Anyone know?


My advice: You should give your grill to me prior to heading to prison.

 

Lot of good it's going to do you. You don't know how to cook. Get me out of this and I'll give you all the lessons you want.

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And they want me to send them this. Identification Record and also Diplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer(DIST). I don't even know what these things are. Anyone know?

 

Lot of good it's going to do you. You don't know how to cook. Get me out of this and I'll give you all the lessons you want.

 

I'm not sure about the Identification Record but I foresee your use of Diplomatic Immunity (in any way) going a bit like this. The FBI doesn't mess around.

 

 

Edit: NSFW with one 'bad' word at the beginning.

Edited by BillsFanM.D.
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