Pine Barrens Mafia Posted January 9, 2015 Author Posted January 9, 2015 not for nothing If you never met her how can you be sure what she looks like? I've seen internet romances work and others fail with ugly consequences... unless you are sure she wants a divorce ....... go with caution otherwise its your time invested with a friend Skype. Either she's masterful at dubbing her voice over fake moving pictures, or she is what she is
Canadian Bills Fan Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 Just make sure she doesnt pull a Manti Teo on you...... CBF
DC Tom Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 Physically, in person. No, not yet. Well then - and I mean this in an entirely constructive sense, meant to be helpful - you're total !@#$ing idiot. You haven't met her, you don't actually know her, any more than you know me (frankly, you probably know me better than her; we have a longer "relationship" online.) But that's not what makes you an idiot. What makes you an idiot is, despite all that, you're already idealizing her as perfect. Now I know you're going to say "No, I'm not," but you are. It comes through blindingly in your posts. You're acting as though you're already in a relationship you're not in with a woman you haven't met who's a continent away and married to someone else. That is bad. By way of vignette: once I was acquainted with a woman in Denver. Started with AOL IM (which I still consider the beginning of the downfall of American society), progressed to talking on the phone. All well and good, until one day she calls, we're talking, she asks me what I'm up to that night, and I tell her I'm having dinner with a lady. Dead silence, and then the most epically bizarre thing anyone's ever said to me: "Well, if you were going to cheat on me, you could have had the decency to wait until after we met." That is an exact quote. It was such an apex of conversational what-the-!@#$ery, that I had to write it down. That's not quite what you sound like. But you're not far away. So my advice is: don't be an idiot. Personally, I wouldn't pursue her at all, because anyone who cheats on their husband with me would turn around and cheat on me, and I don't need that. But you do what you want, and I won't judge. Just don't be such a !@#$ing idiot about it - you're losing perspective and idealizing (or worse, idolizing) her, and you really need to take a step back and regain your perspective. Don't turn into the complete !@#$ing whacktard that says "If you were going to cheat on me, you could have had the decency to wait until after we met."
HereComesTheReignAgain Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 well I am a skeptical !@#$ at times so take this for what it's worth. You are probably giving her the attention that her husband doesn't anymore. If the excitement is gone she may be looking for that "new relationship excitement" with you while avoiding any danger or changes to her current relationship. Unfortunately when it comes time to actually follow through with anything of substance you will probably be tossed aside. I've seen it happen many times and even had it happen to me once. (hence the pessimistic outlook on the situation) With that being said, if you can have fun with this and avoid getting hurt, go for it. It is not your responsibility to determine how she should be acting toward her husband. It sounds like you are pretty into this chick though and removing the emotional attachment would be difficult. Good luck and look out for your well being first and foremost!
KD in CA Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 Sounds like a good excuse to go to San Diego in January, just go with no expectations and of course, no matter what happens don't get involved/attached. As my friend O'Neil always advised: "hit it and quit it".
Maury Ballstein Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 Just introduce her to Ed Wang and then go from there.
Pine Barrens Mafia Posted January 9, 2015 Author Posted January 9, 2015 Well then - and I mean this in an entirely constructive sense, meant to be helpful - you're total !@#$ing idiot. You haven't met her, you don't actually know her, any more than you know me (frankly, you probably know me better than her; we have a longer "relationship" online.) But that's not what makes you an idiot. What makes you an idiot is, despite all that, you're already idealizing her as perfect. Now I know you're going to say "No, I'm not," but you are. It comes through blindingly in your posts. You're acting as though you're already in a relationship you're not in with a woman you haven't met who's a continent away and married to someone else. That is bad. By way of vignette: once I was acquainted with a woman in Denver. Started with AOL IM (which I still consider the beginning of the downfall of American society), progressed to talking on the phone. All well and good, until one day she calls, we're talking, she asks me what I'm up to that night, and I tell her I'm having dinner with a lady. Dead silence, and then the most epically bizarre thing anyone's ever said to me: "Well, if you were going to cheat on me, you could have had the decency to wait until after we met." That is an exact quote. It was such an apex of conversational what-the-!@#$ery, that I had to write it down. That's not quite what you sound like. But you're not far away. So my advice is: don't be an idiot. Personally, I wouldn't pursue her at all, because anyone who cheats on their husband with me would turn around and cheat on me, and I don't need that. But you do what you want, and I won't judge. Just don't be such a !@#$ing idiot about it - you're losing perspective and idealizing (or worse, idolizing) her, and you really need to take a step back and regain your perspective. Don't turn into the complete !@#$ing whacktard that says "If you were going to cheat on me, you could have had the decency to wait until after we met." Honestly, thank you man. I appreciate that.
The Poojer Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 under normal circumstances this would be 100% spot on, but you must have missed the part where he said she was a red head....all bets off Well then - and I mean this in an entirely constructive sense, meant to be helpful - you're total !@#$ing idiot. You haven't met her, you don't actually know her, any more than you know me (frankly, you probably know me better than her; we have a longer "relationship" online.) But that's not what makes you an idiot. What makes you an idiot is, despite all that, you're already idealizing her as perfect. Now I know you're going to say "No, I'm not," but you are. It comes through blindingly in your posts. You're acting as though you're already in a relationship you're not in with a woman you haven't met who's a continent away and married to someone else. That is bad. By way of vignette: once I was acquainted with a woman in Denver. Started with AOL IM (which I still consider the beginning of the downfall of American society), progressed to talking on the phone. All well and good, until one day she calls, we're talking, she asks me what I'm up to that night, and I tell her I'm having dinner with a lady. Dead silence, and then the most epically bizarre thing anyone's ever said to me: "Well, if you were going to cheat on me, you could have had the decency to wait until after we met." That is an exact quote. It was such an apex of conversational what-the-!@#$ery, that I had to write it down. That's not quite what you sound like. But you're not far away. So my advice is: don't be an idiot. Personally, I wouldn't pursue her at all, because anyone who cheats on their husband with me would turn around and cheat on me, and I don't need that. But you do what you want, and I won't judge. Just don't be such a !@#$ing idiot about it - you're losing perspective and idealizing (or worse, idolizing) her, and you really need to take a step back and regain your perspective. Don't turn into the complete !@#$ing whacktard that says "If you were going to cheat on me, you could have had the decency to wait until after we met."
Pine Barrens Mafia Posted January 9, 2015 Author Posted January 9, 2015 Sounds like a good excuse to go to San Diego in January, just go with no expectations and of course, no matter what happens don't get involved/attached. As my friend O'Neil always advised: "hit it and quit it". That's a possibility. I could use a vacation. Worst thing happens, I end up in SD in January.
WotAGuy Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 No advice to offer, but some experience. For me, relationships with married women in distant cities was complicated and frustrating, after the initial rush wore off. It's morally shaky ground, regardless of the status of their marriage. I found it to be a slippery slope that led to a breakdown in my moral character. In the most serious case, I have a lot of guilt over both our marriages breaking up and not being able to make it work once we were free to be in a relationship. The distance made it difficult, and neither of us were in a position to pull up stakes. I sought out of town relationships with married women several times over the years - it never worked out and was always messy - emotionally or otherwise. I had to look at myself and figure out why I was repeatedly pursuing married/unavailable women in other states, and basing my attraction to them on characteristics that were a bad basis for a successful relationship. It took some intensive work to realize I wasn't being honest, and was avoiding intimacy by focusing on superficial aspects that didn't ultimately satisfy me. Selecting women far from my town kept me from getting too involved in many ways. I was selecting women that could be nothing more than a fling and trying to make it into a complete relationship. I have since found a really great woman, who lives in my town, is emotionally and otherwise available, and is compatible across a wide range of interests, faith, child-raising beliefs and moral character. She may not be as hot or as young as some of my other partners, but the relationship is the best I've ever experienced. Once I got healthier, I found a healthier woman. In fact, we got engaged over Christmas. This will be the second marriage for both of us and we both have adult children. If any of my experience is of any help to you, I'm glad I shared it!
DC Tom Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 Honestly, thank you man. I appreciate that. You're welcome. Too much hand-holding and happy happy horseshit in this thread. Someone needed to step up and smack you over the head with a 2x4. Frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if you're still not over your divorce, and losing perspective because of that - but whatever it is, you need to take a step back and indulge in some self-examination before you jump in to anything. See, people? JSP gets it: when I call you an idiot, I'm trying to do you a valuable service.
Pine Barrens Mafia Posted January 9, 2015 Author Posted January 9, 2015 You're welcome. Too much hand-holding and happy happy horseshit in this thread. Someone needed to step up and smack you over the head with a 2x4. Frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if you're still not over your divorce, and losing perspective because of that - but whatever it is, you need to take a step back and indulge in some self-examination before you jump in to anything. See, people? JSP gets it: when I call you an idiot, I'm trying to do you a valuable service. I'll indulge you this one. But don't get !@#$ing used to it. Honestly, I think what I'll end up doing here is just waiting to see what the !@#$ happens with her husband. No visits, no commitments, though I'll continue to enjoy some skype time with her. If IF she ends up ending it with her husband, then I'll visit. IF that goes well, I'll see if I want to move it any further. You were absolutely correct about the idealization tho. She's so anti-my ex, it was refreshing. But i can hardly make a good judgement based on that. Thank you again.
Gugny Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 Jesus Christ ... too bad Tom's married, or you'd be all set. You two done yet?
Pine Barrens Mafia Posted January 9, 2015 Author Posted January 9, 2015 Jesus Christ ... too bad Tom's married, or you'd be all set. You two done yet? Easy there scrubkins, I'm no switch-hitter.
4merper4mer Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 ok, let me back up, i replied to your first post and didn't read the rest of the thread....red head.....I would go ALL IN!!!!! Unrelated but I have some news on your prospective red headed robot fling. It's not good news. I'll update the thread when able. Suffice it to unsurprisingly say Beerboy offed up. He is definitely paying for it.
Jauronimo Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 Easy there scrubkins, I'm no switch-hitter. Do you only scratch off half of a lotto ticket? Why wouldn't you want to double your chances of winning?
Nervous Guy Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 I gotta feeling this will end up being an episode of Catfish....
Gugny Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 I gotta feeling this will end up being an episode of Catfish.... Is Abe Vigoda still alive??
Pine Barrens Mafia Posted January 9, 2015 Author Posted January 9, 2015 I gotta feeling this will end up being an episode of Catfish.... Skype or GTFO man, that was like night 1. =P
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