BringBackFergy Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 I did a Google search and found his online diary. If you search and find other entries please feel free to post them to this thread. January 1, 2015 Dear Diary: Well, I made the big decision. Obviously it was pretty easy. "Little Adolph" (DW) gave me an ultimatum and said sign the extension or take a hike toward Abbott Rd and just keep walking. !@#$ him...you know? I don't need his bull **** anymore. I am highly sought after and most other teams would love an opportunity to interview me. I bring a lot to a team...vision, loyalty, intelligents and even a touch of humor. So I walked down to Doug's office and told him "!@#$ you you little nazi...I want control and you !@#$ed up the draft last year. You want me to perform with EJ Manuel? I'm walking" I saw Nathaniel in his cubicle and asked if he wanted to tag along with me...just like old times. He was almost done with his game (he was playing Jim Monos in Head to Head Football). I'll be sure to check back with him after craft time. Diary - I think I made the right choice. You should see how beautiful the world is. With my $4 million I plan on taking it all in. I'll visit the NY Jets, Atlanta and the Helsinki Fighting Butterchurns (World League....WOOT!!!!!!). Will check back in as my life unfolds. Yours obviously, DM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4merper4mer Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 This seems real because of the red pen and handwriting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BringBackFergy Posted January 5, 2015 Author Share Posted January 5, 2015 This seems real because of the red pen and handwriting. Obviously Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Tom Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 Dear Diary: Today Jimmy Sexton passed me a note in study hall to tell me that Rex Ryan said that Woody Johnson realy really likes me! I was all like "OMG! Really! That is so KEWL!" Bestest day of my life! Tomorrow I'm breaking up with Terry Pegula! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BringBackFergy Posted January 5, 2015 Author Share Posted January 5, 2015 January 2, 2015 Dear Diary - Wellll, it's true. Woody Johnson does like me and I called him last night. We snapchatted for awhile. I sent him a picture of my office and was pretty upset what they did to my stuff. I'm glad to be leaving this shithole. This little prank is soooo immature and I know it has Whaley written all over it (or that Pegula chick). Will check back soon after I meet with a few teams. Yours obviously, DM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BringBackFergy Posted January 5, 2015 Author Share Posted January 5, 2015 Dear Diary: I am just sitting here on my bed, crying my eyes out. I can't believe all the hurtful things that have happened to me over the last few days. For one, I was walking down the hall at OBD just to get my things, and Russ Brandon (aka, the Bully) was walking down the hall. He didn't even move out of the way for me; I had to move from HIM. Oooh, I hate that so much!! Then, this Manesh Mehta wrote all those nasty things about me. Why does he want to hate on me like that? He is such an IDIOT. He even spelled "great" like "grate"-- stupid face. I guess I will just have to add the NY Post to my other banned papers (i.e., WGR, Buffalo News, Rochester D&C, Olean Times, Pittsford Daily News, Syracuse Alumni Magazine, Fairport Presbyterian Church Newsletter, bulletin board at Chipotle in Utica, Mike Williams twitter, bb.com). Anyway, after crying into the cool side of my pillow, I gave Uncle Bill a call. He told me not to worry and that I was still "coach of the year" in his book, even though that might mean"assistant line coach of the Jax Jaguars coach of the year." But, obviously, I am not a quitter and I am going to show these guys who's the boss here. Anyway, mom is calling now (we are having stovetop for dinner), so I need to put on a brave face. More later. Yours, St. Dougie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dhg Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 This thread is Gold! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azalin Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 'intelligents' 'Helsinki Fighting Butterchurns' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeF Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 (edited) January 5th Dear Diary, See I knew it--it was obviously obvious...yesterday Arthur Blank and George Halas McCaskey called me....the Falcons and the Bears want me as well. So screw you Buffalo Bills. STFU Manesh Mehta, the Jets aren't the only option for this Bronx bred tough guy. Then this morning one of my favorite guys -- someone who its obviously obvious that I love, #22, Freddy -- said some hurtful things about me. How it was time to forget me and that I was just another guy now. Well Freddy -- did you get my texts, my private twitter messages. Where ever I end up I was going to trade for you, because trading for you will be MY CHOICE (!@#$ing Whaley) and have you at my side. Freddy also said little Nathaniel was talking behind my back...how it was obviously obvious that little Nathaniel was a brilliant offensive mind and that I was holding him back. Well Nathaniel you and Freddy can just have your little St. Doug bash fest. I will take the high road and be the martyr I am. Be it NY, Atlanta or Chicago -- I will have it better in my next stop. I wonder if I could coach all three teams at once or maybe even coach God's football team???? St. Doug to God's Coach--but only obviously obvious if God gives me control over personnel... St. Doug... Edited January 5, 2015 by Formerly Joe F Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BringBackFergy Posted January 5, 2015 Author Share Posted January 5, 2015 (edited) January 5, 2015 1:07pm Deer Diary - I forgot to mention how flattered I was that Adam Sheffter broke this story about my contract opt out claws originally. Obviously, it was smart for my agent to include that in my contract; Russ was too busy playing "Dead or Alive" on his Walkman to thoroughly read the fine print...WOOT!!! Sheffter is a swell guy and I know he has my back no matter what happens. By the way, WGR55 said they are ok with me leaving....pshhhhhh. Yeah right. I made a lot of money for that station. I'd throw a red flag to challenge that comment but I'm fresh out. I'm glad you are here for me Diary. I really have no other friends and players have lost all respect for me. Thanks for standing by my side.........Diary? Diary??????? Yours obviously, DM Edited January 5, 2015 by BringBackFergy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Canadian Bills Fan Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 I did a Google search and found his online diary. If you search and find other entries please feel free to post them to this thread. January 1, 2015 Dear Diary: Well, I made the big decision. Obviously it was pretty easy. "Little Adolph" (DW) gave me an ultimatum and said sign the extension or take a hike toward Abbott Rd and just keep walking. !@#$ him...you know? I don't need his bull **** anymore. I am highly sought after and most other teams would love an opportunity to interview me. I bring a lot to a team...vision, loyalty, intelligents and even a touch of humor. So I walked down to Doug's office and told him "!@#$ you you little nazi...I want control and you !@#$ed up the draft last year. You want me to perform with EJ Manuel? I'm walking" I saw Nathaniel in his cubicle and asked if he wanted to tag along with me...just like old times. He was almost done with his game (he was playing Jim Monos in Head to Head Football). I'll be sure to check back with him after craft time. Diary - I think I made the right choice. You should see how beautiful the world is. With my $4 million I plan on taking it all in. I'll visit the NY Jets, Atlanta and the Helsinki Fighting Butterchurns (World League....WOOT!!!!!!). Will check back in as my life unfolds. Yours obviously, DM It's funny. I always imagined him signing his diaries as "Obviously yours" CBF Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lombardi1 Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 Dear Diary I am having a tough time trying to make up my mind which team to represent when the Pro Football Hall of Fame comes a calling. After all, to date I've coached 5-32 teams in the league to at least one Super Bowl Championship. Guess I'll just pick a name out of my hat, since my head is so inflated I should be able to fit all five slips of paper into my hat. Oh, another thing Dear Diary, people are saying I lack class for not speaking directly to my former team about my decision to opt out...pftt...like I even owed them anything, especially after their 17 week committee to me during the regular season. After all, isn't it "Do as I say, not as I do".... I'm the best thing that has ever happened to the fans of Buffalo. They should be proud to kiss either my feet or arse...not that I actually had a winning season as much as the defensive side of the ball had a winning season, but in spite of that truth who wouldn't want to kiss my feet and arse. After all I'm the best thing that has happened to the Buffalo Bills since they entered the old AFL in 1960. Back tomorrow Dear Diary to share my sentiments about bringing my inept OC, err, friend Hackett with me everywhere I go. Between having Hackett and Orton who needs an All Pro defense to actually bail me out and win games? It pains me to think so many people actually credit Jim Schwartz and his defense are more responsible for our winning record this year. As if...at least in my legendary mind I know better than those feeble minded folks Dear Diary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Tom Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 Sunday, December 28. Dear Diary: I accomplished my second miracle today, making Buffalo the #4 defense in the league despite Schwartz's meddling and useless players like Marcel Dareus, Mario Williams, Jerry Hughes, Aaron Williams, and such. Waiting for the Vatican to call... Monday, December 29. Dear Diary: Still waiting. Pope Frank's busy, I understand (us saints can call him Frank.) After he sees my brilliant press conference this afternoon, I'm sure he'll call. Tuesday, December 30. Dear Diary: Frank hasn't called yet. What the !@#$? What, did his phone die? Doesn't the Vatican have a !@#$ing land line? Saint Peter never has to put up with this ****, and HE never had a top 5 defense. Wednesday, December 31. Dear Diary: !@#$ it. I quit. Converting to Greek Orthodox. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BringBackFergy Posted January 5, 2015 Author Share Posted January 5, 2015 January 5, 2015 3:12pm Dear diaree (hiccup) - Whaaa the !@#$ is happnin' now?..... I'm seeing all theese tweets about my chances with Woody's team going down-(hiccup)-hill. I mean, what the !@#$?? Ya know? I shouldn't be forgotten or thrown under the bus like thish....I am Doug !@#$in' Marrone!!!!! I bet them bastages at One Bills Driiiive caushed the Jetsh to change their minds...them !@#$ers. (hic). God I love bourbon....love ya Diary. Obvioushly me, DM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Hindsight Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 Dear Diary, My dog won't let me pet him anymore. He just barked at me. I put him in the dog house and now #FreeDogMarrone is trending on Twitter. Also I just heard about this Mularkey guy. He quit on the Bills too and it didn't turn out so bad for him. He even got to be a HC again! Obviously, Dougie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beerball Posted January 6, 2015 Share Posted January 6, 2015 1/5/15 Dear Diary, I only have time for a quick update because I'm a hot commodity (obviously I don't know what that means, but my agent says it's true). Manish Mehta & Bob Casullo are poopy heads and I'm going to challenge them each to a spearing contest. All my friends will be there, I sure hope someone brings macaroni salad, I love macaroni salad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Hindsight Posted January 6, 2015 Share Posted January 6, 2015 Dear diary, Maybe if I can get Kyle Orton to promise to be my QB I'll get a job. Everyone can see he gives me the best chance to win. Obvs Douche Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeF Posted January 6, 2015 Share Posted January 6, 2015 Dear Diary, Bobby Petrino just called .. he is jealous I have stolen his reputation. Now looking for a hot ex-volleyballer to give a ride on my chopper......heh heh... Douggernaut... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BringBackFergy Posted January 6, 2015 Author Share Posted January 6, 2015 January 6, 2015 8:20am Dear Diary - Okay, I'm pissed off, okay? Ya know what some idiot assistant coach at Syracuse said about me?? "When he takes a job, he already has a plan in place for his next job,"...and that I am "Self-centered, selfish, greedy ". . . "He'll get a job because there aren't enough quality people with head coaching experience to get these jobs," Who the !@#$ is this Casullo guy and when did I ever let him coach with me at Syracuse?? Okay, the bourbon is really messing with my head because I have always been cordial with my coaches and players, okay? Obviously we might have a disagreement or two over playcalling, but what these !@#$ers don't understand is I AM DOUG !@#$ING MARRONE!!! Now I'm reading that my old team is interviewing two Shanahans to do my work...talent evaluations and coaching...HAH!!!! I told you Diary...they miss me already and now they understand how valuable I was. Well Diary...another day has arrived. I'm gonna finish up my bowl of corn flakes with razor blades, kick my dog and go down the road to Ed's farm to milk a few cows...where else can I replicate my good old playing days where I can bend over and get some work done. Not sure why Woody Johnson hasn't called me back yet. Obviously yours, DM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beerball Posted January 6, 2015 Share Posted January 6, 2015 Dear Diary, It's Tuesday night and I'm all alone...again...obviously. I tried to call Nate but it went straight to voicemail. Then, I tried to call Bill and again, straight to voicemail. I next called Manish, but, he picked up on the first ring so I hung up. I'm so lonely Dear Diary, I don't know what to do. Obviously, The Top Doug Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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