What's a vegan to do?

[Beerball]

http://www.businessinsider.com/plants-know-they-are-being-eaten-2014-10

[The Dean]

Just because you can't hear the broccoli scream...

[Who is Yuri?]

Funny story: I used to raise chickens, for eggs. I'd have to kill the occasional rooster. That's not really the story, but it's a messy business killing any animal. I'm sure plants feel devastated.

 

Anyway, I liked the taste of chicken, so I thought that I would try duck. So I bought some Muscovy ducklings, and raised them, technically free-range. To tell you the truth, I was a little disappointed with their laziness. I gave them plenty of opportunity to go outside, but they didn't have the same desire as the hardier chickens. And they were messy. It seemed that any drink of water necessitated drenching everything 10x the amount that was drunk. Long story short, they came to an age where I should kill them before their meat would become too "gamey," or else I would have to pay $30 each week to keep these ten lazy bastards for about ten years.

 

But, I had a duck that I liked above all the others. He was all black, and sleeker, and seemingly more-intelligent that the other ducks. I'd raised them all from 3 days since birth, but I had him pegged for a special occasion. The occasion came, in was July 4th, and I wanted to treat my parents, who were coming over, so I went to kill the duck.

 

Usually, it doesn't go this way. In short, you chop off their head, or blow their brains out. The idea is to make it as painless as possible for them, because that makes it less painful for you, too. This guy, I got a good grip on. I put his head over the block, and WHAM! Chopped his head clean off. And it sat there with its eyes open.

 

Usually, I have a good hold of the body, but this one got loose, somehow, and it ran and flapped, ran and flapped, round and round the barn. I was mortified. It was the worst slaughter ever. The carcass was just hopping headless around the barn, while the eyes on the head were wide open. That duck hopped a near-50' circle. Somehow, the body hopped and flapped and landed exactly right next to the head.

 

And the eyes closed... forever. I still eat meat, but that showed me that there's some sort of non-brain, non-body connection.

 

That's changed the way that I think about everything.

Edited October 27, 2014 by Franz Kafka

[Buffalo Barbarian]

http://www.businessi...g-eaten-2014-10

 

guess they can't eat at all now, unless they think they can live off the sun like theses wackjobs;

 

"The Tibetan (Alice Bailey's teacher) predicted that in the near future, we shall become the next race of men/women. At that time we shall operate upon mental energy, magnetic energy, sun energy."

 

http://www.welikeitr...gazing_101.html

 

BTW Alice Bailey was a Lucifer worshiper, so they are probably surviving off the power of Satan and not the sun;

 

"The Lucis Trust was founded by the theosophist Alice Bailey, a disciple of Madame Blavatsky. There is more on her here as well as some strange stuff about an investment bank. She wrote of the one we call Satan:

 

‘For it is he who was the “Harbinger of Light,” bright radiant Lucifer, who opened the eyes of automaton (Adam)"

 

http://www.christian...he-lucis-trust/

Edited October 27, 2014 by Buffalo Barbarian

[Marv's Neighbor]

guess they can't eat at all now, unless they think they can live off the sun like theses wackjobs;

 

"The Tibetan (Alice Bailey's teacher) predicted that in the near future, we shall become the next race of men/women. At that time we shall operate upon mental energy, magnetic energy, sun energy."

 

http://www.welikeitr...gazing_101.html

 

BTW Alice Bailey was a Lucifer worshiper, so they are probably surviving off the power of Satan and not the sun;

 

"The Lucis Trust was founded by the theosophist Alice Bailey, a disciple of Madame Blavatsky. There is more on her here as well as some strange stuff about an investment bank. She wrote of the one we call Satan:

 

‘For it is he who was the “Harbinger of Light,” bright radiant Lucifer, who opened the eyes of automaton (Adam)"

 

http://www.christian...he-lucis-trust/

I think too much of that gives you gas, and contributes to Global Warming!

[Buffalo Barbarian]

I think too much of that gives you gas, and contributes to Global Warming!

 

Definitely, quick call Al Gore! Although he probably is into the sun diet too

[KD in CA]

Funny story: I used to raise chickens, for eggs. I'd have to kill the occasional rooster. That's not really the story, but it's a messy business killing any animal. I'm sure plants feel devastated.

 

Anyway, I liked the taste of chicken, so I thought that I would try duck. So I bought some Muscovy ducklings, and raised them, technically free-range. To tell you the truth, I was a little disappointed with their laziness. I gave them plenty of opportunity to go outside, but they didn't have the same desire as the hardier chickens. And they were messy. It seemed that any drink of water necessitated drenching everything 10x the amount that was drunk. Long story short, they came to an age where I should kill them before their meat would become too "gamey," or else I would have to pay $30 each week to keep these ten lazy bastards for about ten years.

 

But, I had a duck that I liked above all the others. He was all black, and sleeker, and seemingly more-intelligent that the other ducks. I'd raised them all from 3 days since birth, but I had him pegged for a special occasion. The occasion came, in was July 4th, and I wanted to treat my parents, who were coming over, so I went to kill the duck.

 

Usually, it doesn't go this way. In short, you chop off their head, or blow their brains out. The idea is to make it as painless as possible for them, because that makes it less painful for you, too. This guy, I got a good grip on. I put his head over the block, and WHAM! Chopped his head clean off. And it sat there with its eyes open.

 

Usually, I have a good hold of the body, but this one got loose, somehow, and it ran and flapped, ran and flapped, round and round the barn. I was mortified. It was the worst slaughter ever. The carcass was just hopping headless around the barn, while the eyes on the head were wide open. That duck hopped a near-50' circle. Somehow, the body hopped and flapped and landed exactly right next to the head.

 

And the eyes closed... forever. I still eat meat, but that showed me that there's some sort of non-brain, non-body connection.

 

That's changed the way that I think about everything.

 

My brother has chickens for eggs too. Whatever the reason, they had to put one down and over in England the way you do that is to literally wring its neck. He had the local neck wringing expert (I guess this happens a lot over there) come over to give him a tutorial before doing the deed!