HereComesTheReignAgain Posted October 20, 2014 Posted October 20, 2014 Anyone have any words of wisdom related to meeting a girlfriend's 4 year old daughter for the first time? I really like this girl and don't view it as a fling. The mom has not dated anyone since the daughter's father and that ended a couple years ago, so I will be the first guy that is getting to meet her. My girlfriend also has full custody so there is a very big attachment. I have no kids and very limited experience dating someone with a child. Any pointers from those of you that have been through it before would be appreciated.
Deranged Rhino Posted October 20, 2014 Posted October 20, 2014 Anyone have any words of wisdom related to meeting a girlfriend's 4 year old daughter for the first time? I really like this girl and don't view it as a fling. The mom has not dated anyone since the daughter's father and that ended a couple years ago, so I will be the first guy that is getting to meet her. My girlfriend also has full custody so there is a very big attachment. I have no kids and very limited experience dating someone with a child. Any pointers from those of you that have been through it before would be appreciated. Because of your avatar, I read this completely in Quagmire's voice... which probably wasn't the way you wanted it read. That said, the best advice I can give you is to talk to the kid like a person, not like a kid, and you should be fine. Kids are easy to get along with, they want to be friends. The most important thing for the mother will be for her to see you as someone she can trust with her child's welfare, and thus she can see a future with you in it. That should be easy to do so long as you aren't really Quagmire.
Doc Posted October 20, 2014 Posted October 20, 2014 Ask the mom what the daughter would like as a present. Kids can be bought.
KD in CA Posted October 20, 2014 Posted October 20, 2014 A 4-year old isn't very challenging. Be happy you're meeting her now and not when she's 8 (if you intend on keeping the mom around for a while). Crouch down; speak to her eye-to-eye, but keep some space so she's not intimidated. At first ask some basics; 'what's your name', 'how old are you', 'do you go to school', 'do you like Princess Elsa?' If she's shy right off the bat, hang back and let her come to you. If she's eager to interact, ask her any open ended question to get her chatting. My daughters that age will chat up any random person they come across. Be sure to exchange high-fives when you leave.
Deranged Rhino Posted October 20, 2014 Posted October 20, 2014 A 4-year old isn't very challenging. Be happy you're meeting her now and not when she's 8 (if you intend on keeping the mom around for a while). Crouch down; speak to her eye-to-eye, but keep some space so she's not intimidated. At first ask some basics; 'what's your name', 'how old are you', 'do you go to school', 'do you like Princess Elsa?' If she's shy right off the bat, hang back and let her come to you. If she's eager to interact, ask her any open ended question to get her chatting. My daughters that age will chat up any random person they come across. Be sure to exchange high-fives when you leave. Great advice.
BillsFan-4-Ever Posted October 20, 2014 Posted October 20, 2014 (edited) find out her favorite thing to do, study up and then bring gifts - toys or candy if mom allows it. when she asks if you'd like to play with her dolls say yes please. Edited October 20, 2014 by BillsFan-4-Ever
The Tomcat Posted October 20, 2014 Posted October 20, 2014 I agree with the eye level...and just being a good guy to her. Your girlfriend is just watching to see how you react to "little kids." As long as you can get along with the daughter you'll be fine....don't be afraid to be goofy and loosen up, have fun with her, kids are great. Don't put too much pressure on yourself and don't think theres a magic formula besides just being nice and funny. Good luck....aaahhhhlllll right!
Security Posted October 20, 2014 Posted October 20, 2014 You like kids, or you just think this chick is hot and you like banging her? I never dated chicks with kids, never wanted them, if they kept it from me, then those ended up just being one night stands then. If you can never see yourself being OK with the kid, then end it now. Sounds like you are OK with it though.
Cugalabanza Posted October 20, 2014 Posted October 20, 2014 Don't put too much pressure on yourself and don't think theres a magic formula besides just being nice and funny. I like this advice a lot. My daughter is around this age (3.5) and that's what she responds to. My guess is that she will pretty quickly let you know what kind of stuff she's into. You just have to listen to her.
eball Posted October 20, 2014 Posted October 20, 2014 Don't try to be daddy. You just want to be the nice, funny guy who sometimes hangs around and makes mommy moan smile.
DC Tom Posted October 20, 2014 Posted October 20, 2014 Kids respond well to structure and authority. You have to get off on the right foot with her immediately - let her know, in no uncertain terms, that you're the boss, and put her in her place, and don't put up with any crap from her.
BuffaloBill Posted October 20, 2014 Posted October 20, 2014 Kids respond well to structure and authority. You have to get off on the right foot with her immediately - let her know, in no uncertain terms, that you're the boss, and put her in her place, and don't put up with any crap from her. How could you of all people missed the action of calling the little miscreant an idiot upon meeting her? Doing so will put her in a better understanding of her place in the world.
DC Tom Posted October 20, 2014 Posted October 20, 2014 How could you of all people missed the action of calling the little miscreant an idiot upon meeting her? Doing so will put her in a better understanding of her place in the world. Kids aren't idiots. They're just ignorant. They haven't been around long enough to achieve idiocy until they hit puberty.
John from Riverside Posted October 20, 2014 Posted October 20, 2014 Just show up with a puppy.......everybody likes puppies
HereComesTheReignAgain Posted October 20, 2014 Author Posted October 20, 2014 Thanks for all the (mostly) great advice. *I'm 40. I was married for 8 years but had no kids. Had few relationships since the divorce but nobody with a young child. **I have never been to a Turkish prison
USMCBillsFan Posted October 20, 2014 Posted October 20, 2014 Be careful of "bearing gifts". The mom may look at it like you're trying to buy her. Something small could be ok. My gf has a 3 year old and my kids are grown so it was a little hard for me. You're fortunate in that you haven't had kids so you don't really know what to expect. For me it's difficult because my gf's daughter is quite spoiled and her "terrible 2's" have extended into her 3's. Even though they live with me it's difficult because I'm not her parent so I leave the "discipline" to my gf. And she's much younger than I am so her idea of discipline and the way I raised my kids are much different. lol... So that's my challenge. But kids are a wonderful thing and if this lasts you'll find yourself becoming quickly attached to her child and it will be a very rewarding experience for you.
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