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Deadspin's "Why your Team Sucks" : Buffalo Bills 2014

YoloinOhio

By YoloinOhio
in The Stadium Wall Archives

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stevestojan Hall of Famer

stevestojan

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Learned something in the comments.

 

Our punter has more career TD passes (2) than our two backup QBs combined (1).

 

Good Lord.. Is this true?

 

Never mind. I looked it up. Now I'm sad.

Edited by stevestojan
YoloinOhio Hall of Famer

YoloinOhio

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The last comment at the bottom had me laughing and wondering what is wrong with some people....

 

I once saw a drunk, meathead in a CJ Spiller jersey start shaking a porta potty while someone was inside. Hundreds of people were around and nobody stopped him. They all just drunkenly started chanting "Spiller Guy." It was 9:30 am.

BAHAHAHAHA omg. :bag:

 

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But we WON!
KD in CA Hall of Famer

KD in CA

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I look forward to this every year. Great stuff.

Same here....there are some real gems this year.

 

I can barely tell the difference between a Bills tailgate and a 1970s Manchester coal-plant union protest.
The Wiz Hall of Famer

The Wiz

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Good Lord.. Is this true?

 

Never mind. I looked it up. Now I'm sad.

Sure is. I remember one of Moorman's TD passes. It was a fake FG and passed it to either Denney or Schobel.

YoloinOhio Hall of Famer

YoloinOhio

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Sure is. I remember one of Moorman's TD passes. It was a fake FG and passed it to either Denney or Schobel.

Hmmmm so we were wondering why he is still on the team...
Fadingpain All Pro

Fadingpain

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Hilarious. True.

 

Deadspin ‏@Deadspin 4m

Only three people want to buy this team, and nobody really wants to keep it in Buffalo. The Bills suck: http://deadsp.in/cwALP6f

 

BTW, they do this for every team. The comments section is gold.

 

Thanks for this!

 

The comments are not gold. They are SOLID GOLD.

 

Here is one of my favorites:

 

A couple of years ago, the Bills played the Cleveland Browns in Buffalo. Browns QB Derek Anderson (who played the whole contest), went 2/17 with 22 yards, 2 INTs, and a 0.0 QB rating. Cleveland, who was riding a 10-game losing streak that dated back to the prior season, put a whopping 6 points on the scoreboard that day. The Bills lost that game.

stevestojan Hall of Famer

stevestojan

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The comments.... Just awesome.

 

"My last memory of Buffalo Bills playoff football was the Music City Miracle.

 

If I woke up tomorrow and had three wishes, two of them would be Rob Johnson getting ebola."

Edited by stevestojan
YoloinOhio Hall of Famer

YoloinOhio

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The comments.... Just awesome.

 

"My last memory of Buffalo Bills playoff football was the Music City Miracle.

 

If I woke up tomorrow and had three wishes, two of them would be Rob Johnson getting ebola."

:lol:
Rubes All Pro

Rubes

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My favorite comment was from Kevin:

 

 

When I was 12, I was finally deemed old enough to go to a Bills game, and my uncle ran a sizable tailgate which entitled him to tickets from the team. I remember being in awe that the place I built up in my head was within my grasp after years of pining. The field was a beautiful shade of green and the red endzones conjured up images of Flutie running to the corner against Jacksonville as time expired and the wild scene that followed. I was as excited as could be, but before the game started I had to go to the bathroom.

 

As soon as I walked into the bathroom I saw a drunk middle-aged man taking a monstrous dump in the sink. He didn't even try to be discreet about it or act like it was something I shouldn't see. He just sat there in all his glory, taking a **** in the sink.

 

He also wrote a hilarious paragraph for the Chicago Bears article:

 

One more thing: I was in Chicago over a year ago and I went to eat at a Korean joint, one of those Korean joints that is almost 100% Korean clientele, where you walk in the door and you can see the look in their eyes like, "Oh Christ. WHITE PEOPLE." Anyway, I got some noodles and the noodles were drenched in that awesome red sauce that's in all Korean food. We're not talking about a small amount of hot sauce. This was, like, a quart of it. And I knew I shouldn't have eaten too much, but it was really good. So I'm eating and eating, knowing full well that this stuff is gonna go roaring out of my !@#$ as soon as I'm finished. Sure enough, I get to this book signing/party thing five minutes later, and I immediately have to go ****. And my **** is RED. Blood !@#$ing red. I'm sitting there, pushing this stuff out, with sweat pouring down me. So much red diarrhea. And when I got up and walked out, I had to go back in five minutes later. And then I did it a third time. So that's what Chicago reminds me of: red poop.

FluffHead Veteran

FluffHead

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Denney against the Saints. The only TD of the game for the Bills. Lol.

 

It was against the Seahawks in the season opener that year at the ralph. Roscoe Parrish also had a great punt return td that day.

The Real Buffalo Joe All Pro

The Real Buffalo Joe

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Since 2003, we've lost 35 games by 5 points or less. If you, as a casual non-Bills fan, went back and watched 10 years of tape on the different ways we pissed away games, it would blow your ****ing mind.

 

Our NFL Films official team highlight film, which can make a 3-13 season sound promising, begins with the death of Ralph Wilson and the uncertainty of a new ownership group. To lighten the mood, it notes that play of rookie Kiko Alonso was a bright spot that has Bills fans optimistic for 2014.
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