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Posted (edited)

Jordan Palmer? Jordan Palmer? Jordan !@#$ING PALMER?!? THIS is what you get me to replace Lewis? Seriously?

Edited by Rubes
Posted

Marone: I thought I asked for a QB like CARSON Palmer, and you go get me his ineffective brother.

 

Brandon: NIKE loves Jordan, we can market this player

 

Whaley: And my career rests with you two bafoones, who I piss off in my previous life!!

Posted (edited)

post-12945-0-27482000-1409072068_thumb.jpg

God help me....

 

Marrone: "Two feet! You mean that's how long our average pass play is going to be this year!"

 

Whaley: "Hey, the analytics department says that's a 25% improvement on what we've run so far this pre-season. The plan is working. Just stick with it and we'll see the baby soon enough."

Edited by Lurker
Posted

God help me....

 

Marrone: "Two feet! You mean that's how long our average pass play is going to be this year!"

 

Whaley: "Hey, the analytics department says that's a 25% improvement on what we've run so far this pre-season. The plan is working. Just stick with it and we'll see the baby soon enough."

 

 

That is a phase we have haven't heard in a while. Nicely done!

Posted

DM: Where is he?

 

DW: I thought you brought him.

 

RB: I thought you had the new QB ground up in your freezer?

Posted

F4UP7XmM_normal.jpegMike Rodak @mikerodak · 51m

Marrone was clearly upset about something. Had some choice language reporters could hear from sideline. Whaley threw up arms in response.

really looking forward when he's asked about it at today's press conference:

wawrow: coach, it looked like you and doug whaley and russ brandon had a heated conversation on the sidelines this afternoon.

marrone: excuse me?

wawrow: the media could hear you and doug whaley and russ --

marrone: -- oh yeah, we had a great conversation.

(marrone looks away)

chris brown: coach marrone, the upgrade in the back-up quarterback position today indicates that this is a team that is relentless in its pursuit of excellence. as a coach, it must be invigorating to be captaining a ship that may know no bounds, a team that some consider to be on the cusp of greatness.

marrone: yeah, thanks.

tim graham: doug, back to the confrontation on the sidelines --

marrone: -- look, obviously what we do and say in the privacy of a public setting is private.

tim graham: it sounded like voices were raised, particularly when you directed something at doug and russ.

marrone: no, it wasn't directed at them.

tim graham: well, it appeared that you looked right at them when you said it.

marrone: no, it was directed at the team in general.

wawrow: but the team was located 20 yards behind you.

marrone: then it was directed at the world in general. look, obviously, it's the same thing i told the jerry hughes last week. russ and doug are like the jerry hughes of team president-ing and general managing. i wish everyone on the team could president and general manage like them. they're just really special people and true professionals. jerry hughes is a great player with a great attitude -- that much should be clear.

chris brown: coach marrone, a lot of people are saying that this team is going through the inevitable growing pains associated with becoming a legendary squad, maybe even even approaching the greatness of lombardi's packers. couldn't the argument be made not making the playoffs this year could actually be a good -- and maybe even preferable -- outcome?

marrone: thanks, guys.

(marrone exits. locks himself in office. turns off all lights. weeps.)

(chris brown takes shower, scrubbing himself endlessy, after which he feels no cleaner.)

(tim graham settles in for a long night of trolling on twitter.)

(wawrow gets in car, selects "pleased to meet me" from his iphone, cranks it up, slips on sunglasses, drives into sunset.)

the end.

Posted

 

really looking forward when he's asked about it at today's press conference:

wawrow: coach, it looked like you and doug whaley and russ brandon had a heated conversation on the sidelines this afternoon.

marrone: excuse me?

wawrow: the media could hear you and doug whaley and russ --

marrone: -- oh yeah, we had a great conversation.

(marrone looks away)

chris brown: coach marrone, the upgrade in the back-up quarterback position today indicates that this is a team that is relentless in its pursuit of excellence. as a coach, it must be invigorating to be captaining a ship that may know no bounds, a team that some consider to be on the cusp of greatness.

marrone: yeah, thanks.

tim graham: doug, back to the confrontation on the sidelines --

marrone: -- look, obviously what we do and say in the privacy of a public setting is private.

tim graham: it sounded like voices were raised, particularly when you directed something at doug and russ.

marrone: no, it wasn't directed at them.

tim graham: well, it appeared that you looked right at them when you said it.

marrone: no, it was directed at the team in general.

wawrow: but the team was located 20 yards behind you.

marrone: then it was directed at the world in general. look, obviously, it's the same thing i told the jerry hughes last week. russ and doug are like the jerry hughes of team president-ing and general managing. i wish everyone on the team could president and general manage like them. they're just really special people and true professionals. jerry hughes is a great player with a great attitude -- that much should be clear.

chris brown: coach marrone, a lot of people are saying that this team is going through the inevitable growing pains associated with becoming a legendary squad, maybe even even approaching the greatness of lombardi's packers. couldn't the argument be made not making the playoffs this year could actually be a good -- and maybe even preferable -- outcome?

marrone: thanks, guys.

(marrone exits. locks himself in office. turns off all lights. weeps.)

(chris brown takes shower, scrubbing himself endlessy, after which he feels no cleaner.)

(tim graham settles in for a long night of trolling on twitter.)

(wawrow gets in car, selects "pleased to meet me" from his iphone, cranks it up, slips on sunglasses, drives into sunset.)

the end.

 

I laughed.

 

I think El Pegual left a horse head in Whaley's bed this morning.

Posted

DW: Well, I got you a QB who can help to coach EJ. :D

 

DM: WTF! I said A QB who can help to PUSH EJ! :doh:

 

RB: Come on! You bleepin' guys trying to get us fired by the new owner??!! :sick:

Posted

really looking forward when he's asked about it at today's press conference:

wawrow: coach, it looked like you and doug whaley and russ brandon had a heated conversation on the sidelines this afternoon.

marrone: excuse me?

wawrow: the media could hear you and doug whaley and russ --

marrone: -- oh yeah, we had a great conversation.

(marrone looks away)

chris brown: coach marrone, the upgrade in the back-up quarterback position today indicates that this is a team that is relentless in its pursuit of excellence. as a coach, it must be invigorating to be captaining a ship that may know no bounds, a team that some consider to be on the cusp of greatness.

marrone: yeah, thanks.

tim graham: doug, back to the confrontation on the sidelines --

marrone: -- look, obviously what we do and say in the privacy of a public setting is private.

tim graham: it sounded like voices were raised, particularly when you directed something at doug and russ.

marrone: no, it wasn't directed at them.

tim graham: well, it appeared that you looked right at them when you said it.

marrone: no, it was directed at the team in general.

wawrow: but the team was located 20 yards behind you.

marrone: then it was directed at the world in general. look, obviously, it's the same thing i told the jerry hughes last week. russ and doug are like the jerry hughes of team president-ing and general managing. i wish everyone on the team could president and general manage like them. they're just really special people and true professionals. jerry hughes is a great player with a great attitude -- that much should be clear.

chris brown: coach marrone, a lot of people are saying that this team is going through the inevitable growing pains associated with becoming a legendary squad, maybe even even approaching the greatness of lombardi's packers. couldn't the argument be made not making the playoffs this year could actually be a good -- and maybe even preferable -- outcome?

marrone: thanks, guys.

(marrone exits. locks himself in office. turns off all lights. weeps.)

(chris brown takes shower, scrubbing himself endlessy, after which he feels no cleaner.)

(tim graham settles in for a long night of trolling on twitter.)

(wawrow gets in car, selects "pleased to meet me" from his iphone, cranks it up, slips on sunglasses, drives into sunset.)

the end.

 

+1

Posted

really looking forward when he's asked about it at today's press conference:

wawrow: coach, it looked like you and doug whaley and russ brandon had a heated conversation on the sidelines this afternoon.

marrone: excuse me?

wawrow: the media could hear you and doug whaley and russ --

marrone: -- oh yeah, we had a great conversation.

(marrone looks away)

chris brown: coach marrone, the upgrade in the back-up quarterback position today indicates that this is a team that is relentless in its pursuit of excellence. as a coach, it must be invigorating to be captaining a ship that may know no bounds, a team that some consider to be on the cusp of greatness.

marrone: yeah, thanks.

tim graham: doug, back to the confrontation on the sidelines --

marrone: -- look, obviously what we do and say in the privacy of a public setting is private.

tim graham: it sounded like voices were raised, particularly when you directed something at doug and russ.

marrone: no, it wasn't directed at them.

tim graham: well, it appeared that you looked right at them when you said it.

marrone: no, it was directed at the team in general.

wawrow: but the team was located 20 yards behind you.

marrone: then it was directed at the world in general. look, obviously, it's the same thing i told the jerry hughes last week. russ and doug are like the jerry hughes of team president-ing and general managing. i wish everyone on the team could president and general manage like them. they're just really special people and true professionals. jerry hughes is a great player with a great attitude -- that much should be clear.

chris brown: coach marrone, a lot of people are saying that this team is going through the inevitable growing pains associated with becoming a legendary squad, maybe even even approaching the greatness of lombardi's packers. couldn't the argument be made not making the playoffs this year could actually be a good -- and maybe even preferable -- outcome?

marrone: thanks, guys.

(marrone exits. locks himself in office. turns off all lights. weeps.)

(chris brown takes shower, scrubbing himself endlessy, after which he feels no cleaner.)

(tim graham settles in for a long night of trolling on twitter.)

(wawrow gets in car, selects "pleased to meet me" from his iphone, cranks it up, slips on sunglasses, drives into sunset.)

the end.

 

I honestly...no joke....read this as a real transcript all the way down till Chris Brown's first line. I thought the sky had actually fallen.

Posted

really looking forward when he's asked about it at today's press conference:

wawrow: coach, it looked like you and doug whaley and russ brandon had a heated conversation on the sidelines this afternoon.

marrone: excuse me?

wawrow: the media could hear you and doug whaley and russ --

marrone: -- oh yeah, we had a great conversation.

(marrone looks away)

chris brown: coach marrone, the upgrade in the back-up quarterback position today indicates that this is a team that is relentless in its pursuit of excellence. as a coach, it must be invigorating to be captaining a ship that may know no bounds, a team that some consider to be on the cusp of greatness.

marrone: yeah, thanks.

tim graham: doug, back to the confrontation on the sidelines --

marrone: -- look, obviously what we do and say in the privacy of a public setting is private.

tim graham: it sounded like voices were raised, particularly when you directed something at doug and russ.

marrone: no, it wasn't directed at them.

tim graham: well, it appeared that you looked right at them when you said it.

marrone: no, it was directed at the team in general.

wawrow: but the team was located 20 yards behind you.

marrone: then it was directed at the world in general. look, obviously, it's the same thing i told the jerry hughes last week. russ and doug are like the jerry hughes of team president-ing and general managing. i wish everyone on the team could president and general manage like them. they're just really special people and true professionals. jerry hughes is a great player with a great attitude -- that much should be clear.

chris brown: coach marrone, a lot of people are saying that this team is going through the inevitable growing pains associated with becoming a legendary squad, maybe even even approaching the greatness of lombardi's packers. couldn't the argument be made not making the playoffs this year could actually be a good -- and maybe even preferable -- outcome?

marrone: thanks, guys.

(marrone exits. locks himself in office. turns off all lights. weeps.)

(chris brown takes shower, scrubbing himself endlessy, after which he feels no cleaner.)

(tim graham settles in for a long night of trolling on twitter.)

(wawrow gets in car, selects "pleased to meet me" from his iphone, cranks it up, slips on sunglasses, drives into sunset.)

the end.

 

I didn't read this at first, then I went back to it. Well done, sir. Well done.

Posted

Whaley...If you do an impression of that Jauron guy like this again....you are fired.

 

Brandon...but, he did play that Tampa type something defense or a 3/4 or was it a 4/3? I can't remember. But, he did cover some spreads.

 

Marrone...fire me, I use advanced math! Plus, I have a scapegoat in Hackett because I never have and couldn't call plays during the game either.

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