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Just For Laughs, Or How To Bait a Liberal


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Got this in an email---no link.

 

 

 

Canadian Editorial Humor Directed at the US .......

 

 

 

This is Canada 's Top Ten List of America 's Stupidity... Canada 's version

of David Letterman's "Top 10"

 

 

 

10. Only in America ... Could politicians talk about the greed of the rich

at a $35,000.00 a plate campaign fund-raising event.

 

 

 

9. Only in America .... Could people claim that the government still

discriminates against black Americans when they have a black President, a

black Attorney General and roughly 20% of the federal workforce is black

while only 14% of the population is black. 40+% of all federal entitlements

goes to black Americans - 3X the rate that go to whites, 5X the rate that go

to Hispanics!

 

 

 

8. Only in America .... Could they have had the two people most responsible

for our tax code, Timothy Geithner (the head of the Treasury Department) and

Charles Rangel (who once ran the Ways and Means Committee), BOTH turn out to

be tax cheats who are in favor of higher taxes.

 

 

 

7. Only in America .... Can they have terrorists kill people in the name of

Allah and have the media primarily react by fretting that Muslims might be

harmed by the backlash.

 

 

 

6. Only in America .... Would they make people who want to legally become

American citizens wait for years in their home countries and pay tens of

thousands of dollars for the privilege, while they discuss letting anyone

who sneaks into the country illegally just 'magically' become American

citizens.

 

 

 

5. Only in America .... Could the people who believe in balancing the budget

and sticking by the country's Constitution be thought of as "extremists."

 

 

 

4. Only in America .... Could you need to present a driver's license to cash

a check or buy alcohol, but not to vote.

 

 

 

3. Only in America .... Could people demand the government investigate

whether oil companies are gouging the public because the price of gas went

up when the return on equity invested in a major U.S. Oil company (Marathon

Oil) is less than half of a company making tennis shoes (Nike).

 

 

 

2. Only in America .... Could the government collect more tax dollars from

the people than any nation in recorded history, still spend a Trillion

dollars more than it has per year - for total spending of $7Million PER

MINUTE, and complain that it doesn't have nearly enough money.

 

 

 

1. Only in America .... Could the rich people - who pay
86%
of all income

taxes - be accused of not paying their "fair share" by people who don't pay

any income taxes at all.

 

 


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Edited by 3rdnlng
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#11. Only in America do conservatives fall for a fabricated "made in Canada" list.

 

Does it really matter where/who made up the list? Do you have some objections to anything on it? BTW, I hope the hook didn't hurt too badly. :w00t:

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Does it really matter where/who made up the list? Do you have some objections to anything on it? BTW, I hope the hook didn't hurt too badly. :w00t:

 

So your plan was to post a list of jumbled garbage and then hide behind it by childishly saying "you mad?" basically? Well done.

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It does remind me though many years ago I worked in an Italian restaurant. The Italian chef and let little weaselly Nicaraguan sidekick used to make fun of the US all the time. They'd giggle "only in America." Well the boss gave me the checks to hand out one day and I handed him his with a !@#$ you look on my face and said "only in America."

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The fact number 7 is a put down and not a compliment shows whoever wrote the list doesn't understand what freedom really means. We are a nation that believes in individual liberty, or at least we're supposed to be.

 

You would think a conservative would understand this.

 

The whole thing. There's no way a Canadian would write that.

Line of the day.

Edited by GreggyT
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So your plan was to post a list of jumbled garbage and then hide behind it by childishly saying "you mad?" basically? Well done.

Thanks for helping me reach my limit.

 

The fact number 7 is a put down and not a compliment shows whoever wrote the list doesn't understand what freedom really means. We are a nation that believes in individual liberty, or at least we're supposed to be.

 

You would think a conservative would understand this.

 

 

Line of the day.

 

You need to be bigger in order to help me reach my limit. I'm throwing you back.

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A Day in the Life of Joe Republican

 

 

 

[This is an email that has floated around the internet since at least 2004.]

 

 

 

redblueline.gif

 

 

 

Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards. With his first swallow of water, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to ensure their safety and that they work as advertised.

 

 

All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance - now Joe gets it too.

 

 

He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.

 

 

In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained.

 

 

Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for the laws to stop industries from polluting our air.

 

 

He walks on the government-provided sidewalk to subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

 

 

Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joe's employer pays these standards because Joe's employer doesn't want his employees to call the union.

 

 

If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll get a worker compensation or unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn't think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.

 

 

It is noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.

 

 

Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime. Joe also forgets that in addition to his federally subsidized student loans, he attended a state funded university.

 

 

Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards to go along with the tax-payer funded roads.

 

 

He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because bankers didn't want to make rural loans.

 

 

The house didn't have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification.

 

 

He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn't have to.

 

 

Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn't mention that the beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day. Joe agrees: "We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have."

 

 

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I've seen that one... A day in the life of a public sector employee is more like it.

 

It always amazes me where all these subsidies and free government services come from. I reread Gators little ditty and realized that in every instance taxes were involved. So, the government that is subsidized by the taxpayer is getting credit for what the taxpayers are doing.

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It always amazes me where all these subsidies and free government services come from. I reread Gators little ditty and realized that in every instance taxes were involved. So, the government that is subsidized by the taxpayer is getting credit for what the taxpayers are doing.

Maybe the GOVERNMENT shouldn't make money, huh?
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