Beerball Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 http://www.foxnews.com/health/2014/04/01/passing-gas-101-what-your-flatulence-patterns-mean-for-your-health/
Kevin Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 I farted while reading this. It didn't stink. I'm feeling a little healthier now.
Johnny Hammersticks Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 13 to 21 times per day? I just farted 9 times while reading my kid a bed time story.
Gugny Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 "Excessive flatulence or foul smelling flatus is pretty rare" Not in my house.
ExiledInIllinois Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 I wanna try hard and squeeze 7 pages out of this one! Look out, it will be a smelly one... I just ate Burger King! 13 to 21 times per day? I just farted 9 times while reading my kid a bed time story. Poor tike! Probably hid under the covers!
DDD Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 "Excessive flatulence or foul smelling flatus is pretty rare" Clearly you haven't been to Taco Bell.
Johnny Hammersticks Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 I unleashed a wretched fart in our cabin on a Caribbean cruise. The kind of fart that could eat the stitching out of Levi's. My wife actually vomited. One of the proudest moments of my life.
BuffaloBill Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 I unleashed a wretched fart in our cabin on a Caribbean cruise. The kind of fart that could eat the stitching out of Levi's. My wife actually vomited. One of the proudest moments of my life.
ExiledInIllinois Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 Why do farts smell? So deaf people can enjoy them too. ROTFLMAO.... Old joke my father would tell: What is the sharpest thing in the world? A fart. It cuts through your pants without even making a hole! I unleashed a wretched fart in our cabin on a Caribbean cruise. The kind of fart that could eat the stitching out of Levi's. My wife actually vomited. One of the proudest moments of my life. Wow... Were you in international waters? If so, I don't think the divorce proceedings will hold up! I stayed @ a Holiday Inn Express last night... I am not allowed to practice family law! :-)
BillsFanM.D. Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 I'm surprised dealers took my car in trade. The Beast!
Keukasmallies Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 I'm pleased that we're finally airing this expansive topic. I've always subscribed to the notion that there is more room outside than in, so I'm a fart proponent from way back.
BuffaloBill Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 I'm pleased that we're finally airing this expansive topic. I've always subscribed to the notion that there is more room outside than in, so I'm a fart proponent from way back. Here we thought you were mostly a silent but deadly lurker. Your statements are like a foul smell released into your surroundings. Such an escape of empty but odoriferous thought is hardly polite. You could have at least said "excuse me."
Keukasmallies Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 (edited) Well, BB, I take umbrage at your airing of differences in such a resounding manner. I'm reminded of that motorboat-like popping sound of an air release whilst seated in a wooden chair, the basso profundo of an expansive well-placed fart while walking the dog, even a bath-tub-rattler that harks of Run Silent, Run Deep. You, sir, are but a brief whiff of air in the true whirlwind known as the fart. I seek no quarter and issue neither apology nor excuse! Edited April 3, 2014 by Keukasmallies
Johnny Hammersticks Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 My older brother was a tennis player. One time he ripped a raunchy fart into an empty tennis ball container. He saved it until he got home, held me down, and then opened the container near my face. I almost threw up. The fart mixed with the new tennis ball smell was the perfect storm of stankitude. It's amazing I still speak to the guy.
swnybillsfan Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 I unleashed a wretched fart in our cabin on a Caribbean cruise. The kind of fart that could eat the stitching out of Levi's. My wife actually vomited. One of the proudest moments of my life. best fart i ever had was when i was about 7 or 8 years old. our house had one of those huge floor grate vents. it was really early in the morning and i went over, sat on the grate, and unleashed hell. it was incredibly loud and reverberated through the entire house. my mother came running down the stairs yelling "what the hell was that, are you ok?". i was laughing so hard i could not breathe, and the furnace was running so the grate was really hot. i had a waffle burn on my ass for quite some time, but it was so worth it.
ExiledInIllinois Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 My older brother was a tennis player. One time he ripped a raunchy fart into an empty tennis ball container. He saved it until he got home, held me down, and then opened the container near my face. I almost threw up. The fart mixed with the new tennis ball smell was the perfect storm of stankitude. It's amazing I still speak to the guy. Older brothers are brutal! Mine is 4 years older... One time he ate Weber's mustard and cheese, went in the bathroom and stunk it up... He then proceeded to spray everything he could find in our vanity... Deorderant, Lysol, cologne, etc... Anything that would aerolsolize the air! He then shut the door and lured me to enter... Don't ask why I did, I am a trusting soul... I was 10. Then he held the door shut! Anyway, to make a long story short, the poor air quality made it unbearable... Eyes even worse! Then there was the screaming, by me... DO NOT ever scream in a situation like that, it only makes it worse when that crap gets in your mouth, on your tongue or enters your lungs! It was quite the torture chamber! Who the eff teaches older brothers to eat gouda and Weber's and torture their younger brother? Finally my mother had to come and rescue me... She was fit to be tied. Had to open the windows. I couldn't reach the window... I was little and they are up high up and a pain to open! Actually, those windows I probably still can't open (casement type side sliders)... I would still be doomed seeing how he has 50 pounds on me... No going out the door! Oh well... Having an older brother builds perserverance... Character, strength! Unless you need help by your mother to open a window!
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