Deranged Rhino Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 You're out on a Friday night, had a few too many or maybe a few just right, either way you're doing alriiiight. You stop at your local bar, the one you go to for last call because it's close to home in case you have to walk. As you're crossing the street -- WHAM! You're shoved out of the way by an ethereal stranger who saves you from being road kill thanks to a speeding pickup that just ran the light. The stranger helps you to your feet and reveals themselves to be your guardian angel and you have no reason to believe it's anything but the truth. You offer to buy him a drink as a thank you, you are right outside a bar after all. You discover that your guardian angel enjoys a pint or two themselves (they are your guardian angel after all, liking what you like seems to go with the job description) so they accept. It's now three drinks in. What would you ask them? Me? I'd want to know about the big picture type, mysteries of the universe, kind of questions. Probably a lot of religion as well considering the reality I was faced with meeting my guardian angel. But I also apologize a lot I think, just thinking now about the things this poor creature must have witnessed me doing while standing his post makes me want to buy him a hooker or something more than alcohol to assuage my shame. That probably wouldn't work out too well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boyst Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 In 30 seconds of thought: 1) how much bacon is too much bacon? 2) How old is Beerball...like, really? 3) are you allowed to fly with your wings after 3 beers? 4) when my time comes to meet the ground and go under it what is it I will regret or not have done? ( then I would do them!) 5) what happens to my nieces and nephews? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 Let's see. I'm three sheets to the wind before I meet them. I stop in and have three more with them what would I ask them? Hmmmm. How about "any idea what the !@#$ time it is??" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beerball Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 Let's see. I'm three sheets to the wind before I meet them. I stop in and have three more with them what would I ask them? Hmmmm. How about "any idea what the !@#$ time it is??" So, you're saying you need advice on timekeeping? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deranged Rhino Posted March 13, 2014 Author Share Posted March 13, 2014 Answers like these are why I love this place... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICanSleepWhenI'mDead Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 How bad did you have to screw up to get this job? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExiledInIllinois Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 How bad did you have to screw up to get this job? Taking 200 years to get your wings. I guess they are a little lenient @ angel school w/the up or out policy, just ask Clarence Odbody. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nanker Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 I'd ask him/her, at this point, what difference does it make? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillsFanM.D. Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 In keeping with TBD theme, I'd point out the ugliest girl with a criminal record and ask one question: "Would ya?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrags Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 In keeping with TBD theme, I'd point out the ugliest girl with a criminal record and ask one question: "Would ya?" well done Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillsFan-4-Ever Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 my guardian angel told me to stop drinking Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 my guardian angel told me to stop drinking Time to start hanging with your guardian devil. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillsFan-4-Ever Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 Time to start hanging with your guardian devil. lol I said drinking not partying. doobie doobie do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BringBackFergy Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 I'd buy him a pint (because I know my guardian angel is a dude, rather than a gal). After yarnin' for awhile, I'd buy him another, then another and finally buy him shot. When my angelic brother is nicely toasted, I'd invite him outside. After stepping outside the tavern, I'd wait for some punk to make a snide comment about by buddy's feathery wings. The punk will probably try to start something (either with me or my ethereal protégé) and at that point I'd lay the smack down on his punkish ass. When the delinquent is laying on the pavement, my angel might say "Gee thanks BBF, I appreciate you lookin out for me" at which point I'll say "Not a problem...you owe me one"....and the cycle begins again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
millbank Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 was it you that caused the busy signal the other night... did you save me from her...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Canadian Bills Fan Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 When will the Bills finally win the Super Bowl? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KD in CA Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 I'd ask for tomorrow's winning lotto numbers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 I'd ask for tomorrow's winning lotto numbers. I'm sorry Guardian Angels prevent you from doing stupid stuff........like buying lottery tickets. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fan in San Diego Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 I'd ask a bunch of questions What is heaven and God like? How did they build the pyramid's? Who shot JFK? Next weeks winning lottery numbers? Who came to America first? How much longer do I have to live? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts