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Posted
how much foreplay is to much ???

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Four days

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Posted

Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits.

 

After talking about this for a while, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, strip off their habits, and paint in the nude.

 

In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door. "Who's there?", calls one of the nuns. "Blind man," replies a voice from the other side of the door.

 

The two nuns look at each other and shrug, and, deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room, they open the door.

 

"Nice breasts," says the man, "where do you want these blinds?"

Posted

A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bustline forty four".

 

Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return.

 

This time the husband crosses his fingers and says "Mirror mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!".

 

Again, there's a bright flash... and then his legs fall off!

Posted
A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bustline forty four".

 

Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return.

 

This time the husband crosses his fingers and says "Mirror mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!".

 

Again, there's a bright flash... and then his legs fall off!

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#89 I hope this is satisfying your desire for a sew thread :devil::lol::lol:

Posted

SEW? SO what? I just think sometimes you all are funny when talking about sex, relationships, the ideal girl etc. The jokes are a nice bonus.

 

Oh, I have many sewing machines too

Posted
SEW?  SO what?  I just think sometimes you all are funny when talking about sex, relationships, the ideal girl etc.  The jokes are a nice bonus.

 

Oh, I have many sewing machines too

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are you all warm now ?

Posted

Oh Lime Green Couch - I need your help. I've been dating a nice man for only 8 weeks and he just sprung those three little words on me (I love you). What should I do? I'm not on the same page (yet) but there is potential in the future. How long will he stay interested if I don't say those words right back?

Posted
Oh Lime Green Couch - I need your help. I've been dating a nice man for only 8 weeks and he just sprung those three little words on me (I love you). What should I do?  I'm not on the same page (yet) but there is potential in the future. How long will he stay interested if I don't say those words right back?

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I have the same thing going on.

 

And he seriously does love me but I do NOT WANT a serious love in my life. I never want to get married again. My marriage was wonderful but I want to remain the same name as I have. I have stopped dating other men but not writing and talking to them. OOPS I guess that menas I'm a little serious too.

Posted
SEW?  SO what?  I just think sometimes you all are funny when talking about sex, relationships, the ideal girl etc.  The jokes are a nice bonus.

 

Oh, I have many sewing machines too

212245[/snapback]

sex, sewing whats the difference? Man I better check my spelling next time.

 

 

"Chief Two Eagles," asked one government official, "You have observed

the white man for 90 years. You've seen his material wealth. You've seen

his progress. You've seen his wars."

 

The chief nodded in agreement.

 

The official continued, "Considering all these events, in your

opinion, where did the white man go wrong?"

 

The chief stared at the government officials for over a minute and

then calmly replied, "When white man found the land, Indians were running

it. No taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, women did all the

work, medicine man free; Indian man spent all day hunting and fishing, all

night having sex."

 

Then the chief leaned back and smiled, "Only white man dumb enough to

think he could improve system like that

Posted
I have the same thing going on.

 

And he seriously does love me but I do NOT WANT a serious love in my life.  I never want to get married again.  My marriage was wonderful but I want to remain the same name as I have. I have stopped dating other men but not writing and talking to them. OOPS I guess that menas I'm a little serious too.

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Serious is a good thing. :devil::lol::lol:

Posted
Oh Lime Green Couch - I need your help. I've been dating a nice man for only 8 weeks and he just sprung those three little words on me (I love you). What should I do?  I'm not on the same page (yet) but there is potential in the future. How long will he stay interested if I don't say those words right back?

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OK, one question for you before I answer.

 

 

Have you had sex with the guy yet? None of my fuggin business you say? Oh contraire(sp?) mon ami! The couch never took French, but he sure can give it!

 

OK, why I ask...if he hasn't gotten happy with you yet chances are he's saying ILU because he thinks it will speed things up.

 

If you have had sex...then you don't have to ask why he's saying those 3 words. :devil:

Posted
I have the same thing going on.

 

And he seriously does love me but I do NOT WANT a serious love in my life.  I never want to get married again.  My marriage was wonderful but I want to remain the same name as I have. I have stopped dating other men but not writing and talking to them. OOPS I guess that menas I'm a little serious too.

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I have heard that there are people who have gotten married.....AND THEY HAVE NOT CHANGED THEIR NAME!

 

He aint the right one, plain and simple. When he shows up you'll know it. How do I know this?

 

Worked for you last time didn't it?

Posted
OK, one question for you before I answer.

 

 

Have you had sex with the guy yet? None of my fuggin business you say? Oh contraire(sp?) mon ami! The couch never took French, but he sure can give it!

 

OK, why I ask...if he hasn't gotten happy with you yet chances are he's saying ILU because he thinks it will speed things up.

 

If you have had sex...then you don't have to ask why he's saying those 3 words.

 

You mean he can't tell the difference between good sex and love?

Posted
You mean he can't tell the difference between good sex and love?

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He loves the good sex. You come attached to the good sex(I assume)...ergo....

 

We guys can sometimes get confused when good sex is involved! (hell, I've never had bad sex)

 

 

 

If he's a little eager he could have some self esteem issues. "Gawd, if I don't tell Gidge that I love her she may think I'm not interested." If this is the 46 year old I might wonder if his clock is ticking...

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