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Posted

When I am sitting in my car letting it warm up in the garage, is it safe to have my garage door open?

No. Keep the garage door closed and run a hose from the exhaust into the front seat. The car will warm up much faster that way.
Posted

No. Keep the garage door closed and run a hose from the exhaust into the front seat. The car will warm up much faster that way.

 

Ot would warm him even faster if he put the hose in his mouth and breathed deeply.... This is very warming in the face of frigid temps.

Posted

No. Keep the garage door closed and run a hose from the exhaust into the front seat. The car will warm up much faster that way.

 

Thanks. I figured if we could get questions answered about fireplaces, why not cars?

 

Anyway your advice created a bit of a problem. I had Sven go ahead and get the car warmed up because Jefe, my regular driver gets December 12th off every year as you know. Anyway I got sidetracked on a project and forgot I had to run an errand. Sven was warming up the car for hours and it ran out of gas. And the lazy Swede looks like he fell asleep but the security cameras are fogged up so it is hard to tell. I blared the intercom and told him to wake up and push the car to the gas station to fill it up but that dude sleeps like a log.

 

So just go ahead and pick up a few gallons and, put them in the Bently, wake up Sven and and vacuum that fog out of my garage. I'll just use the mini-copter until Jefe gets back.

Posted

Thanks. I figured if we could get questions answered about fireplaces, why not cars?

 

Anyway your advice created a bit of a problem. I had Sven go ahead and get the car warmed up because Jefe, my regular driver gets December 12th off every year as you know. Anyway I got sidetracked on a project and forgot I had to run an errand. Sven was warming up the car for hours and it ran out of gas. And the lazy Swede looks like he fell asleep but the security cameras are fogged up so it is hard to tell. I blared the intercom and told him to wake up and push the car to the gas station to fill it up but that dude sleeps like a log.

 

So just go ahead and pick up a few gallons and, put them in the Bently, wake up Sven and and vacuum that fog out of my garage. I'll just use the mini-copter until Jefe gets back.

 

that's gold.

Posted

Update: No real update. As usual, Beerboy has not done as instructed so there is no gas for the car. The garage is pretty air tight so it is still foggy in there. Sven is still asleep. No Jefe so far....I forgot that on December 12th he usually goes on a bender and on the 13th he is a no show. It's cool though, the mini-copter is fun.

Posted

I think Beerglobe went on the bender with Jefe... In the Bently ... They were spotted at a truck stop just outside of Columbus.. Ennifer was also in the backseat ... Topless. ...:o

 

Posted

I think Beerglobe went on the bender with Jefe... In the Bently ... They were spotted at a truck stop just outside of Columbus.. Ennifer was also in the backseat ... Topless. ... :o

 

Realistic scenario except Sven is still asleep in the Bently. Also from the mini-copter I saw Jefe face down in a drainage ditch. He'll be back tomorrow.

 

Anyway, I'm pretty sure Ennifer shape shifted into Sage's fiance........God knows what she did with the real one.......and is patiently biding her time until the wedding night.......Sage won't listen and I am worried. No sign of Beerboy.....as usual. He usually ends up with no excuse for his absence but I try not to get worked up about it. That one time he was out for a while I got all mad and found out he was laid up with spiral vaginitis. I felt guilty for almost an hour.

Posted

Playing with your copter while persistently inhaling meth obviously has your mind messed up. Sage walked away from Ennifer long ago because she refused to eat lentils. We suspect this is because Sage was farting so much from his diet. Round-o-suds is in fact now on I-40 in Arkansas allegedly headed to Oklahoma. He was in fact in the Bently with Jefe. Mrs BB is in a rage of spousal jealousy due to the fact that some chick was in the backseat toppless...

Posted

Update:

 

Jefe is back at work and I had him go vacuum the fog and wake up Sven.

 

Part 1 is complete but he said Sven is out like a light and he smells real bad. He must have started boozing it up when he warmed up the car. He is going to pay to have my garage fumigated. Beerboy is going to pay half because he never showed up with the gas and Jefe had to go get it.

Posted

Update:

 

The update is that there won't be many more updates on Sven's condition. He wasn't asleep. Well, the big sleep I guess.

 

I had Beerboy dig a 12 foot hole hole and fill it half way up with those red candy fish which is a funeral tradition in Sven's homeland. We will be throwing him in there a little later.

 

Also, the Bently is toast because it smells like dead Swede and there isn't enough tomato juice in the world to get rid of that.

 

It was a sad couple of days here. Beerboy will be punished by being forced to pick up some of Sven's less reliable clients like code name Parah Sessica Jarker and code name Loris Cleachman. As a maater of fact he has an appointment today with code name Boy Jehar and she practically lives up to her code first name.

Posted

Did I miss anything? I gassed up the Mini Cooper just like you asked.

 

Dude were you out with Jefe before you did this? Don't listen to his translations dude.

 

Wait, if you gassed up the mini cooper instead of.....

 

when you dug the hole for Sven did you half fill it with swedish fish and ONLY swedish fish?

 

Plus Boy Jehar is ringing the doorbell at Sven's former premises. Go over there and service her pronto and wear a Sven mask just for today so we can break the news to her gently.

Posted

Jefe went out with Jimmy & Jimmy relayed the message to me.

 

Yes, the Mini Cooper has been gassed up for a week now but you haven't taken it out once. Today I decided that you didn't want the MC so I have the Fiat ready to go.

 

The monger didn't know what the heck I was talking about so we settled on gefilte fish.

 

Sage is covering today's outcall. He prefers...well, you know what he prefers...

Posted

Dude. Sage is in the midst of being duped by a shape shifter. He is not covering anything. Unless you got him to cover. In which case cool, but tell him about the Sven mask. Change the whatever fish to Swedish fish. Sven was a swede....and no residue of that other fish.

 

Jimmy who? I don't have a Fiat...that is Sammy's and you should never put gas in it as it can only lead to trouble.

 

Here are your priorities:

 

1. Fish switch at the gravesite. Deadline....now

 

2. Service code name Boy Jehar. You can maybe trick her into waiting 15 minutes for your fish cleanup if you wear the Sven mask and use your fake accent. If you really got Sage to cover and wear the mask you are all set here.

 

3. de-gas Sammy's Fiat.

 

4. Attend Sage's funeral.

 

5. Get rid of the Bently and cans of tomato juice.

 

6. Well, not really 6....at all times watch out for the shape shifter. If she finds out you booked Sage with Boy you are in for a world of hurt.

Posted

I had Beerboy dig a 12 foot hole hole and fill it half way up with those red candy fish which is a funeral tradition in Sven's homeland. We will be throwing him in there a little later.

 

I think you're confusing "Sicilian" and "Sweden."

Posted

I think you're confusing "Sicilian" and "Sweden."

 

I never herd of Sicilian fish. Are those the multi colored ones? Because they suck. The red Swedish ones are the best.

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