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Whiny neighbor, whiny psychologist


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The mother is on probation for shoplifting....

 

http://www.wgrz.com/...dyssey=obinsite

 

They're dicks up in Genesee County. In Erie County, it would have been an ACD, not plead to the charge and 3 years probation.

 

Oh, never shoplift from Wally World. They spend a ton of money and resources on asset protection now. The days of Wal Mart not caring about shoplifters are over.

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Reread my post. I, in fact, think that tapping into the child's guilt/shame is the way to go. Putting an 8 year old child in the stockade and hoping the public throws rotten fruit at him is not.

 

Public humilation for an 8 year old while the mom sits out on the lawn and supervises the shaming is just hurtful and vindictive, with little good outcome besides leaving a painful scar. As LA said below (and if I agree with LA, it's time to consider that we might be right), the mom needs to talk to the kid, explain how it hurts the mom and disappoints her. The punishment can be loss of freedoms, or something more proacticve like working it off in community service

 

Bottom line: The mom should be a parent and deal with her child. "Parental bullying" is some serious BS phrase but this punishment for a little kid sounds a lot more like whatever BS that phrase is meant for than actual parenting. "I have an idea for how I'm going to humiliate my 8 year old" is a lot different than "How can I best help my 8 year old?" She can do whatever stupid crap she wants and this punishment was no crime. It's just piss-poor parenting. No surprise that the mom is some sort of nightmare herself.

Oh, the mother is an absolute nightmare, and her son most likely learned the behavior from her.

 

With that said, in this instance, however, I don't believe "the best way to humiliate your child," and "the best way to help your child" are mutually exclusive. Beyond the fact that trying to reason with an 8 year old is one of the craziest parenting techniques I've ever heard of (don't take that as a critique of your parenting, as all kids are different, and maybe it worked with yours), as I read the article it seems that reasoning, as well as many other parenting techniques have already been tried.

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It is for me. We specifically decided we would spank our kids, and it turned out to be one of the stupidest uninformed choices I've made as a parent. Yes, I'm sure we all remember the good old days when you'd make a child go pick his switch, etc. But for us, my son and I felt so unbelievably crappy afterwards that I just made a decision to find another way. You look for things you can take away -- games, TV, etc. -- and soon you find yourself sounding like Hans Gruber, telling your son that "Sooner or later I'll find something you DO care about."

 

But in the end, only two things finally worked for us: talking to him straight and honestly about what we expect from him as a member of the family, and taking away his weekly Thursday night Hooker Party.

 

Hey, as long as it works.

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