SouthTownBills51 Posted January 13, 2005 Posted January 13, 2005 Ive been head over heels for this woman since last march, she is the most incredible woman I have ever met..When I first met her I didn't have the feelings I do now for her..She's funny, smart, down to earth, everything I could ever want in a woman..I came to her and told her how I felt finally in july..she then told me that she didn't see me that way and liked somebody else..Unfortunetly for me, that somebody else was a dirtbag pig who was a co-worker of ours..This guy's only intentions were to get in her pants and not her heart, what she saw in him I will never know..LUCKILY that fixation didn't last very long and she came to her senses and decided against starting a relationship with him thank god..In the mean time, this woman and I would talk everyday almost non-stop, about anything, life, weather, music, sports..Now if you dont like a person, why would you wanna talk to them all the time?? She's had one other boyfriend in her past and he was nothing more then a 2 bit drugie with a couple kids on the side..as I said before how she meets these guys I will never know..But its obvious the only guys she seems to be attracted to are a$$holes! it maybe thin, but I believe that she likes me, she likes the way I treat her, likes the way I remind her how amazing and beautiful she is, and likes everything else, she's just afraid to admit it..She's afraid to admit it because she's not use to such good treatment from a guy before..in the past month, I haven't talked to her at all, she has completely cut me off, the communication lines are severed..and I have done nothing but respected her space and left her alone..but the longer I leave her alone the more unsettling it gets to know that the woman Im falling for is there all by herself and not with me where she belongs..Its evident that she enjoyed our conversations and my company, if she didn't that she wouldn't have opened up to me like she did..In my opinion she's a very confused woman right now, who doesn't know how it feels to be loved, and ive reminded her time and time again that she should give me a shot..Im not the best lookin, or the best drest, not rich or drive a fancy car..but im the best fit for her..at least I Think so, and I hope she does too.. any words of wisdom??
aussiew Posted January 13, 2005 Posted January 13, 2005 Wise words that have been thrown about a lot lately. "SHE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU" Sorry but you can't make her love you....keep her as a friend and move on. Someday you'll find a women who appreciates what you can give her.
34-78-83 Posted January 13, 2005 Posted January 13, 2005 As well as you expressed those feelings Southtown , I will unfortunately not be able to match with my response (and I have been in your situation). Sometimes these things come right down to primal senses, such as the scent that you do not even realize you give off and her reaction to it (which she does not even realize as well). It sounds silly but it's true. I wish you luck but don't let this go on for too long ( for your own good) if things don't turn around in some set amount of time determined by you.
CajunBillsBacker Posted January 13, 2005 Posted January 13, 2005 As every man knows, women are very confusing people. No matter how hard you try, we'll never understand them and what goes through their heads. That said, don't waste your time trying to figure this girl out because it's impossible and you'll have sleepless nights for nothing.
sfladave Posted January 13, 2005 Posted January 13, 2005 Ive been head over heels for this woman since last march, she is the most incredible woman I have ever met.. ..She's afraid to admit it because she's not use to such good treatment from a guy before..in the past month, I haven't talked to her at all, she has completely cut me off, the communication lines are severed..and I have done nothing but respected her space and left her alone.. any words of wisdom?? 203515[/snapback] First of all how old is she? How old are you? If communication lines were cut off, what was the reasoning she gave you? Without any of the above information I can tell you one thing with certainty, "Don't eat where you sh--." Work relationships are a bad idea without exception, unless you work with supermodels. Tread the water carefully my friend, this drama could turn into a tragedy.
stevestojan Posted January 13, 2005 Posted January 13, 2005 Wise words that have been thrown about a lot lately. "SHE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU" Sorry but you can't make her love you....keep her as a friend and move on. Someday you'll find a women who appreciates what you can give her. 203519[/snapback] Haha... I was just at my friend's house this weekend, and she had a book on her dresser "He's just not that into you"... haha... i guess that is the buzz phrase this year, huh?
Tux of Borg Posted January 13, 2005 Posted January 13, 2005 Hot girls have been falling for ugly guys for years now. You've spent all this time with her having deep conversations, yet you haven't exploited it. Keep going the friend route and introduce alcohol into the equation.
MadBuffaloDisease Posted January 13, 2005 Posted January 13, 2005 She sounds like a woman who needs to be treated badly by men to feel "loved." It's usually a product of an abusive and/or absentee father and it's something you probably won't be able to break through. You aren't like that and she likes you as a friend because you're "safe" but she probably won't settle down with you, or likely wouldn't be faithful if she did. The signs are all there and as difficult and painful as it might seem, you'd be best to just keep it at being friends. As a last-ditch effort and just to see where things are and to prove it to yourself, give her a call and see what her attitude is like. She just might be ready to end even the friendship with you, or lmuch ess likely may have done some soul searching and realized that she SHOULD be with someone like you.
Pete Posted January 13, 2005 Posted January 13, 2005 Sounds like the women viewed you as a friend and that was it. Many women love to string along men even if they have no interest in a relationship. The fact that she cut you off with communication leads me to beleive she is telling the truth when she says she does not want to go out with you. Perhaps she is looking out for you and does not want you view her that way. Dont press it and give her her space. If its meant to be its up to her. She knows what you feel. Back off and enjoy your life.
ajzepp Posted January 13, 2005 Posted January 13, 2005 Southtown, I think I'm going to echo what has already been said above......No matter what the reason is as to why she chooses these types of men to be with, it sounds like she does not see you as a potential right now. Unrequited love is never an easy thing......it hurts. Hell, I hurt for you just reading what you wrote on a message board. I really think you are best served by letting go of your hopes of being with her in a relationship context and opening yourself up to the idea of other people. I know that when you are in love with someone, nobody else compares. That's a normal feeling. But the fact is that you are not alone and your issue is not unique. Most of us have been in a similar situation, and there was probably a time when most of us just could not imagine moving on without this one particular person we were in love with. Honestly, there really are other wonderful, amazing, loving, women out there. Be confident in what you bring to the table as a man and patiently open yourself to the idea of others. From what you described, it just sounds like your trying to force a square peg into a round hole right now. i wish you luck, bro
ajzepp Posted January 13, 2005 Posted January 13, 2005 Hot girls have been falling for ugly guys for years now. You've spent all this time with her having deep conversations, yet you haven't exploited it. Keep going the friend route and introduce alcohol into the equation. 203536[/snapback] omg lol......
SouthTownBills51 Posted January 13, 2005 Author Posted January 13, 2005 Sounds like the women viewed you as a friend and that was it. Many women love to string along men even if they have no interest in a relationship. The fact that she cut you off with communication leads me to beleive she is telling the truth when she says she does not want to go out with you. Perhaps she is looking out for you and does not want you view her that way. Dont press it and give her her space. If its meant to be its up to her. She knows what you feel. Back off and enjoy your life. 203538[/snapback] The reason why I refuse to believe that is..it was non stoping talking for about 3 months..it was like clock work! morning, afternoon and then when she was off to bed we'd talk and talk and talk..and now all of a sudden it just stopped???? her reasoning for stopping it was because the cell bill was getting to high and she was getting busy..now I ask ya, how is it you weren't busy then, but your busy now? your doing the same stuff now that you were doing then?? in my opinion she LIKED IT ..she liked every minute of our conversations..and didn't want to lead me to believe that I had a shot soo she shut me off completely..she's been treated like crap by soo many guys, that she doesn't know how to react to a guy who actually likes her for HER
todd Posted January 13, 2005 Posted January 13, 2005 Dr. Phil says: Run. Run fast before she starts to like you. I don't have time to type it all, but from personal experience - run. Actually, if you tell her to !@#$ off she'll probably like it, so do it in a nice way. Don't get emotionally involved in a woman who so clearly has issues on multiple levels. You can't fix self esteem issues in a woman, and that's clearly what she has. Run. Run, luke, run.
todd Posted January 13, 2005 Posted January 13, 2005 The reason why I refuse to believe that is..it was non stoping talking for about 3 months..it was like clock work! morning, afternoon and then when she was off to bed we'd talk and talk and talk..and now all of a sudden it just stopped???? her reasoning for stopping it was because the cell bill was getting to high and she was getting busy..now I ask ya, how is it you weren't busy then, but your busy now? your doing the same stuff now that you were doing then?? in my opinion she LIKED IT ..she liked every minute of our conversations..and didn't want to lead me to believe that I had a shot soo she shut me off completely..she's been treated like crap by soo many guys, that she doesn't know how to react to a guy who actually likes her for HER 203548[/snapback] Haven't you ever heard of a fallback plan or a security blanket? Respect yourself, and don't let her do that to you.
MichFan Posted January 13, 2005 Posted January 13, 2005 any words of wisdom?? Run, Forest, run! In all seriousness, though -- you can't win her over by being her doormat. In fact, you've probably already been her doormat too long for her to ever take a serious interest in you. Little story from my life, maybe it will help, maybe it will bore you to tears. When I graduated from college I had my heart set on returning to WNY. I prayed every night that I'd get into Kodak or Xerox or some other company to get back to my hometown. I wanted to get back home about as badly as you want to get with this girl of yours. I ended up with a job in North Carolina instead. On my last night out in Ann Arbor before I started the great migration South, this slow dance song came on that I'd never heard before. It was a Garth Brooks song and the chorus was that "sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers" and "some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers". Well, it wasn't a bar that played country music, and because of that the song has always stuck in my mind (even though I can't remember who I was dancing with). As fate would have it I met my beautiful wife in North Carolina, got far enough back north to be able to visit regularly, and have two incredible kids. My advice would be for you to leave this obsession behind and move on with your life. It's difficult to do when you've built your goals and aspirations around her for so long, but I guarantee someday you too will be thanking God for this unanswered prayer.
Pete Posted January 13, 2005 Posted January 13, 2005 The reason why I refuse to believe that is..it was non stoping talking for about 3 months..it was like clock work! morning, afternoon and then when she was off to bed we'd talk and talk and talk..and now all of a sudden it just stopped???? her reasoning for stopping it was because the cell bill was getting to high and she was getting busy..now I ask ya, how is it you weren't busy then, but your busy now? your doing the same stuff now that you were doing then?? in my opinion she LIKED IT ..she liked every minute of our conversations..and didn't want to lead me to believe that I had a shot soo she shut me off completely..she's been treated like crap by soo many guys, that she doesn't know how to react to a guy who actually likes her for HER 203548[/snapback] 3 syllables for you- AT-TEN-TION
Typical TBD Guy Posted January 13, 2005 Posted January 13, 2005 any words of wisdom?? 203515[/snapback] Take aussiew's advice seriously. If you don't, you will regret it later.
cåblelady Posted January 13, 2005 Posted January 13, 2005 any words of wisdom?? 203515[/snapback] Get a cat.
TigerJ Posted January 13, 2005 Posted January 13, 2005 From everything you've said, it doesn't sound promising, Southtowns. I too get the impression that this girl is the kind that gets turned on by bad boys. She may realize that and may have tried to escape that tendency, hence she befriended you, but in the end she may not be sufficiently motivated to kick the bad boy habit. If you want to try and stick it out, you can continue to let her know you're interested, but keep it low key and don't pressure her. Ultimately the next move is hers, like it or not.
Dwight Drane Posted January 13, 2005 Posted January 13, 2005 3 syllables for you- AT-TEN-TION 203556[/snapback] 3 syllables for you... SUN-DOWN-ER I'm assuming you are a Spikes fan with your 51 in the name. What would our man Takeo do? Would he stay in a city that didn't appreciate him after overperforming for them for years? Would he give them shot after shot of getting it right after they showed poor judgement in their personel moves, and a lack of commitment to doing the best for their team? I think my friend, that he looked around for a situation that was more promising, and a place that made him feel accepted for the effort he brought. There are 31 other teams out there, and you need to stop limiting your options. Good luck, and don't drink too much.
Recommended Posts