Jim in Anchorage Posted June 22, 2013 Share Posted June 22, 2013 I give $200 for normal friends. $250 for close friends. $300+ for family I thought it was wedding "guests?" I don't want to pay for someone else's party. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meazza Posted June 22, 2013 Share Posted June 22, 2013 I thought it was wedding "guests?" I don't want to pay for someone else's party. It's a dumb tradition but i have to stick to it or my family will disown me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExiledInIllinois Posted June 22, 2013 Share Posted June 22, 2013 What a bunch of money grubbing little bastages. Like meazza said. I suppose it got started w/tradition and sending the couple on in the black. Kinda stupid today how the game is played. Damn if you do and damn if you don't. 20 years ago we had a small wedding, cut if off @ about 100... Not past first cousins... Even then you can't please family... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fan in San Diego Posted June 22, 2013 Share Posted June 22, 2013 Rule of thumb for italian weddings is you pay your plate + a bit more. Nothing spreads more among a social circle than a light envelope. Yup this is my rule of thumb for weddings except when I was young and broke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
San Jose Bills Fan Posted June 22, 2013 Share Posted June 22, 2013 judging by the fact that they used 'Your an idiot' 'gunna' and 'george carlon' i am seriously questioning the authenticity of either side of the argument. Also, "this is right up your ally." Sounds to me like none of the parties here are blameless and that they're all very tacky people to boot. The guest is more in the right than the brides but is not totally innocent in this either, IMO. When idiot worlds collide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary M Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 This is why I don't have friends. Stupid !@#$ing people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lurker Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 Life's to short to waste it on this stuff... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plenzmd1 Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 It's a dumb tradition but i have to stick to it or my family will disown me It is an "outdated" tradition. Used to be people getting married were in the early 20's or even younger, just starting out, and the gifts and cash helped them start a life/home together. In Western Pa, they do the dollar dance as an old tradition to give the couple some spending money on the honeymoon...again, kinda out of date now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keukasmallies Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 A way to resolve the dilemma is for the betrothed to include a spread sheet with the invitation. Revenues, expenditures, long-term debt, reserve fund total, etc. would be good things to know when shopping for a gift for the happy couple. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acantha Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 When I got married, about 2 1/2 years ago, my wife and I asked everyone for christmas tree decorations, and made it clear they could be store bought, homemade, or hand-downs. Some people gave more, but generally I'd say the average gift was in the neighborhood of $10 and we get to enjoy our gifts every year. These people make me sick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 A way to resolve the dilemma is for the betrothed to include a spread sheet with the invitation. Revenues, expenditures, long-term debt, reserve fund total, etc. would be good things to know when shopping for a gift for the happy couple. By "spread sheet" you mean.........oh never mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExiledInIllinois Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 It is an "outdated" tradition. Used to be people getting married were in the early 20's or even younger, just starting out, and the gifts and cash helped them start a life/home together. In Western Pa, they do the dollar dance as an old tradition to give the couple some spending money on the honeymoon...again, kinda out of date now. Why? Are people getting married rich and well-off nowadays? I do get your point... But not everybody is "set." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mead107 Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 I give more to family than others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
San Jose Bills Fan Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 The moral of the story is that wedding rules are not one size fits all. You have a huge variety of contexts based on socioeconomics, ethnicity, religion, etc. etc. etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 (edited) Why? Are people getting married rich and well-off nowadays? I do get your point... But not everybody is "set." So is it my job to help them get set? The best part about being an ex-chef is I can buy anyone a piece of kitchen equipment regardless of cost and it's "wow, thanks Chef Jim!" Edited June 24, 2013 by Chef Jim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExiledInIllinois Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 So is it my job to help them get set? The best part about being an ex-chef is I can buy anyone a piece of kitchen equipment regardless of cost and it's "wow, thanks Chef Jim!" No, just tradition. Maybe Yente made a match in heaven... Don't put the poor milkman in a hole and just offer your regrets if you get invited. Then you can send whatever you want... Even a 20 dollar basket w/pasta and whatnot. Why so rebellious all of a sudden? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quester74 Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 i know who's going on my wedding list He didn't say how much he'd give to OBD's Offical "Wouldja" Judge... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Poojer Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 I posted generally acceptable etiquette rules links refuting your claim that you should give at least the cost of the plate...you are the rebellious one... No, just tradition. Maybe Yente made a match in heaven... Don't put the poor milkman in a hole and just offer your regrets if you get invited. Then you can send whatever you want... Even a 20 dollar basket w/pasta and whatnot. Why so rebellious all of a sudden? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExiledInIllinois Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 I posted generally acceptable etiquette rules links refuting your claim that you should give at least the cost of the plate...you are the rebellious one... Really? I must have missed the link... I will go back and check. Sorry. I just find it kinda tacky that people would put the couple in a hole... Even if they are doing well. It is like my Polish relatives that would give 10 bucks... No wonder some Polish people get a bad rap. Oh, my! From your link Pooj: "The amount you should spend on a gift is one of those gray areas that vary based on the wedding location, your age and your budget. A typical amount, says Betsy Goldberg, features editor at Modern Bride magazine, is $75. If you bring a date, expect to spend twice that amount." I agree with meazza, $200 is fine for a couple attending... The advice above has it @ $150. How much do you think the basket and pasta was worth. I still would have let it go though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meazza Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 Really? I must have missed the link... I will go back and check. Sorry. I just find it kinda tacky that people would put the couple in a hole... Even if they are doing well. It is like my Polish relatives that would give 10 bucks... No wonder some Polish people get a bad rap. Oh, my! From your link Pooj: "The amount you should spend on a gift is one of those gray areas that vary based on the wedding location, your age and your budget. A typical amount, says Betsy Goldberg, features editor at Modern Bride magazine, is $75. If you bring a date, expect to spend twice that amount." I agree with meazza, $200 is fine for a couple attending... The advice above has it @ $150. How much do you think the basket and pasta was worth. I still would have let it go though. Lol it's $200 a head not a couple. And this is generally european tradition carried over to canada. A friend of mine got married and had some cousins from new york attend who put like $20 an envelope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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