Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Posted

"So what do you do for a living?"

 

"I, uh, measure the distance between beauty pageant contestants' nipples to make sure they conform with pageant standards..."

 

"What???"

 

"...uh, I'm a garbageman."

 

 

I want that job. But I don't want to have to explain it at parties.

Posted

"So what do you do for a living?"

 

"I, uh, measure the distance between beauty pageant contestants' nipples to make sure they conform with pageant standards..."

 

"What???"

 

"...uh, I'm a garbageman."

 

 

I want that job. But I don't want to have to explain it at parties.

 

 

existential crisis lmao!!!!!!!!!

Posted

Later in the article:

 

 

the contest also said the space between candidates' pupils should be 46 percent of the distance between their pupil and their ear."

 

WTF

Posted

What's 24" apart mean?

 

It means you need less strombolli. Clean out your freezer, and drop it off at exit 36 on the Thruway. Leave it in a plain, unmarked brown box, next to the garbage can, where the Troopers park their cars.

×
×
  • Create New...