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Posted

Don't know if these are truly puns, but:

 

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs who's...

...hanging on the wall? Art.

...laying in front of your door? Matt.

...in a hole in the ground? Phil.

...in the ocean? Bob.

...wedged under a car? Jack.

...on an actor's mantle? Oscar. Or Tony.

...stuck in a bog? Pete.

...holding down a tarp? Ty.

Posted

You remember that? I didn't, I just had to search for it...it was seven freakin' years ago.

 

My freak-like memory is my sole positive attribute. Until recently, most of my texts were questions like, "Who was the girl with the orange skin in 'Seifeld'? She just walked by us in Central Park." (My reply: Illeana Douglas, she was Scorsese's girlfriend.) Now everyone has a smart phone so it's more of "Did you get those charges dropped?"

 

:D

Posted

On the lame joke/pun scene:

 

What is green and flies over Germany?

 

A Snotsy.

 

Yikes... That was bad....

 

What has 4 wheels and flies?

 

A garbage truck.

 

What do cats read in the bathroom?

 

Kitty literature.

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