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Are You Funny? Witty?


Brand J

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Hello Bills nation. I'll be querying a Sit-com pilot shortly, seeing if I can get TV Agents/Managers to bite. Before sending it out, I want to make sure I've hit every area of comedy possible! So if you have the chops, the time, and the interest, I would appreciate a read, as well as a little feedback. Here's the info:

 

TITLE: JustUS COURT

GENRE: Situational Comedy

LOGLINE: Francis P. Crotchett, judge of the hottest show on daytime television, takes no prisoners inside his courtroom. No case is too big, no story too complex, no personality too challenging... until he goes home.

 

SYNOPSIS: Judge Crotchett is old, ornery, and quips like a comedian. According to daytime television ratings, he's also lovable. In his small claims courtroom, justice is served the right way: swiftly and fairly. For all his knowledge and success in settling court cases, he struggles where his domineering personality is needed the most: the Crotchett Estate.

 

Forced to juggle a neighbor from hell, a paparazzi stalker, a precocious, demon seeded granddaughter, and his own problematic "adult" son and daughter, maintaining order within, as well as outside his household, proves quite challenging. Fortunately, he has a French maid, a Bailiff, and a loving wife who pitches in from time to time, to ease his burden of troubles. Sometimes though, these three are not enough...

 

*Yes, I do have writing skills! To alleviate your worries, I've included the first five pages:

 

   OVER BLACK:
                                     JustUS COURT
                                Case No. CSM-01-00001
                            Chase Ryder vs Ophelia Gentry

			 OPENING STATEMENT

              FROM BLACK:

              INT. JUSTUS COURT - COURTROOM - DAY

              A SMALL CLAIMS COURT MADE FOR TELEVISION. CHATTER EMANATES
              FROM AUDIENCE MEMBERS, AS THE BAILIFF (40S), A MOUNTAIN OF A
              MAN, MAKES AN ANNOUNCEMENT BEFORE THE COURT.

                                  BAILIFF

                     All rise! Court is now in session. The

                     honorable Francis P. Crotchett

                     presiding. 

              JUDGE CROTCHETT (60S), ENTERS THE COURTROOM IN A LONG, BLACK
              ROBE. HE HAS A NARROW, BIRD-LIKE FACE. WEARS BIFOCALS THAT
              MAKE HIS EYES APPEAR EVER SO BEADY. HE SITS. 

                                  BAILIFF (CONT'D)

                     Parties have been sworn in, Judge. (TO

                     AUDIENCE) You may be seated.

              JUDGE CROTCHETT READS FROM THE DOCUMENTS ON HIS BENCH. 

                                  JUDGE CROTCHETT

                     Alright, Mr. Chase Ryder, you are

                     suing... (LOOKS UP; CONFUSED) Chase

                     Ryder? Is that your legal name, sir?

              CHASE RYDER (30S), STANDS BEHIND A LECTERN THAT READS
              "PLAINTIFF". PAPERS ARE SCATTERED. UNORDERED. A DIRECT
              REFLECTION OF CHASE: SCRAGGLY AND SLOPPY IN HIS ATTEMPT TO BE
              DEBONAIR. 

                                  CHASE

                     Yes, your honor. 

                                  JUDGE CROTCHETT

                     It's not a stage, or a porno name, or

                     something of that nature?

              CHUCKLES FROM THE AUDIENCE.  

                                  CHASE

                     Huh?

                                  JUDGE CROTCHETT

                     Says here you work in the Adult

                     Entertainment industry.

                                  CHASE

                     Yeah, I'm a photographer. I take the

                     pictures. But what's that gotta do

                     with my case, Judge Crotch... (OOPS)

                     et. 

              BAM! BAM! BAM! THE JUDGE REPEATEDLY SLAMS HIS GAVEL.

                                  JUDGE CROTCHETT

                     ORDER! OR-DER! Now you listen

                     carefully, Mr. Ryd... (MOCKING) er.

                     This is my courtroom. You will not

                     question me inside my courtroom. When

                     I cross-examine you, assume my queries

                     are pertinent to this case. If you

                     challenge my authority again, I will

                     hold you in contempt and throw your

                     case to the wolves... Understood?

              JUDGE CROTCHETT SIZES HIM UP. WITH HIS BEADY EYES. 

                                  CHASE

                     Yeah I understand, your honor. 

                                  JUDGE CROTCHETT

                     Very well. You are suing the

                     defendant, Mrs. Ophelia Gentry, in the

                     amount of four thousand dollars, for

                     damages related to your vehicle. The

                     burden of proof is upon you, sir. You

                     have the floor. 

                                  CHASE

                     Alright, well, I was in the front of

                     my yard taking care of business, when

                     I heard a loud-- 

                                  JUDGE CROTCHETT

                     Taking care of business? What do you

                     mean by that, sir?

              CHASE MIMICS THE SNAPPING OF PHOTOS. 

                                  JUDGE CROTCHETT (CONT'D)

                     Oh, I see. Proceed. 

                                  CHASE

                     So like I was saying, I heard a loud

                     crash. Like metal on metal. So I spun

                     around, right? And found the

                     defendant's car slammed into the back

                     of my 2011 BMW 5 Series. I ran like a--

                                  JUDGE CROTCHETT

                     Your vehicle was parked on the street?

                                  CHASE

                     Yes, your honor. So I ran like a--

                                  JUDGE CROTCHETT

                     Are you certain it was indeed the

                     defendant's vehicle?

                                  CHASE

                     Judge, that cat lady's the only one in

                     my neighborhood who drives a 1970

                     Hearse. That death machine sliced

                     through my Beamer like butter. 

                                  JUDGE CROTCHETT

                     Very well. Mrs. Gentry, how do you

                     respond to the allegations brought

                     against you?

              OPHELIA GENTRY (80S), STANDS BEHIND A LECTERN THAT READS
              "DEFENDANT". SHE DOESN'T HAVE A SINGLE DOCUMENT, OR SHRED OF
              EVIDENCE PRESENT. 

                                  OPHELIA

                     (SMILES) Yes, sir. 

              AWKWARD SILENCE. OPHELIA HOLDS HER SMILE. 

                                  JUDGE CROTCHETT

                     Well go ahead, madam. You have the

                     floor.

                                  OPHELIA

                     I beg your pardon, sir! I am NOT poor!

              LAUGHTER FROM THE WATCHING AUDIENCE. 

                                  JUDGE CROTCHETT

                     I said, "you have the floor", madam,

                     which means you may speak. You're in

                     court, Mrs. Gentry. Justus Court.

                     Defend yourself against the

                     allegations brought against you. 

              SHE WEARS A WORRIED LOOK. SHAKES HER HEAD, "NO". OBVIOUSLY
              HAS NO IDEA WHAT'S GOING ON. 

                                  JUDGE CROTCHETT (CONT'D)

                     (TO CHASE) Do you have your estimates?

                                  CHASE

                     For the repairs?

                                  JUDGE CROTCHETT

                     No. For the math problems my grandson

                     solved last night. 

              CHUCKLES FROM THE AUDIENCE.  

                                  JUDGE CROTCHETT (CONT'D)

                     Why are we here, Mr. Ryder? Of course

                     I'm referencing the repairs. 

              THE BAILIFF RETRIEVES THE ESTIMATES. DELIVERS THEM TO THE
              JUDGE.

                                  CHASE

                     I got some pictures too.

                                  JUDGE CROTCHETT

                     Mr. Ryder, do I look like some kind of

                     pervert to you?

                                  CHASE

                     Am I still under oath?

                                  JUDGE CROTCHETT

                     Any pictures you have, sir, would

                     serve best in a fertility clinic; not

                     in my courtroom, Mr. photographer. 

                                  CHASE

                     What?! No, judge, I was talking about--

              BAM! JUDGE SLAMS THE GAVEL. 

                                  JUDGE CROTCHETT

                     SILENCE! (TO OPHELIA) Madam, have you

                     seen these estimates?

 

PM me an email address and I'll send you the pilot episode...

 

By the way, I have no idea why that text came out in Rainbow colors...?

Edited by JayBaller10
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I think it's awesome that you did something creative and had the courage to post it online for critique. Good on you.

 

Thanks Fong. That's only the first 5 pages! There's much more where that came from...

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Do you want notes or just a read?

 

Hey TGreg, notes would be much appreciated! If you (or anyone else) needs notes on one of your projects, I'm pretty astute in that area as well. Usually do script swaps on Done Deal...

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Hey TGreg, notes would be much appreciated! If you (or anyone else) needs notes on one of your projects, I'm pretty astute in that area as well. Usually do script swaps on Done Deal...

Sure thing ... I'm under the gun on something right now, but send it my way and I'll hit you back with thoughts as soon as I can.

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