K-9 Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? Getting her out of the wheel chair. I'm going straight to hell for that one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HopsGuy Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 I bet that joke doesn't sit well with neutrons. Jeeze, my bad. Can't believe I screwed that one up. My face is red. I'll fix. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nanker Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 I think Conner's brilliant. Relax, it's a joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 A dyslexic walks into a bra................ Q - What's the difference between a '57 Chevy and a waitress? A - Not everyone's had a '57 Chevy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K-9 Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 A dyslexic walks into a bra................ Q - What's the difference between a '57 Chevy and a waitress? A - Not everyone's had a '57 Chevy That reminds me of the dyslexic maitre d that got fired from Fuddruckers. He kept saying, "Welcome to rude f*ckers." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boyst Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 That reminds me of the dyslexic maitre d that got fired from Fuddruckers. He kept saying, "Welcome to rude f*ckers." I'm a dyslexic dog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nanker Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 I'm a dyslexic dog. I believe in you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeviF Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 (edited) Q: Why did Jesus stop playing hockey? A: He kept getting nailed to the boards. Edited May 9, 2012 by LeviF91 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Hindsight Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 Geez women drive me nuts. Pretty soon they are gonna wanna vote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLZFAN4LIFE Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 (edited) I asked my wife to tell me something that would make me happy and mad at the same time. She replied, "of all your friends, you're the biggest." I was recently turned down by an online dating site. Question #4 was "tell us what you like most in a woman" I replied "my penis." - Application rejected. Edited May 9, 2012 by BLZFAN4LIFE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nanker Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 Describe myself in a word? Why, that's absurd! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
birdog1960 Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 woman walks into a pharmacy to inquire about viagra for her husband. woman: can you get it over the counter? pharmacist: i can if i take 2. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buftex Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 My wife and I were sitting, talking about our finances. We have really been struggling, trying to stretch a paycheck. She says to me "you are spending too much money, every month on beer. You have to give it up!" Then, I'm looking at the credit card bills, and see an $85 charge from Neiman Marcus. "What's this?" I ask her... "Oh, I purchased some make-up" she says. "So, I have to give up beer, but you can spend $85 on make-up? Why am I the one who always have to give things up?" I ask. "Honey, I have to have make-up, so I can look pretty for you" she says. I says "What the hell do you think the beer is for?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Hindsight Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 My wife and I were sitting, talking about our finances. We have really been struggling, trying to stretch a paycheck. She says to me "you are spending too much money, every month on beer. You have to give it up!" Then, I'm looking at the credit card bills, and see an $85 charge from Neiman Marcus. "What's this?" I ask her... "Oh, I purchased some make-up" she says. "So, I have to give up beer, but you can spend $85 on make-up? Why am I the one who always have to give things up?" I ask. "Honey, I have to have make-up, so I can look pretty for you" she says. I says "What the hell do you think the beer is for?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Tom Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 A farmer noticed that his chickens were sick, and called in a biologist, a chemist, and a physicist to help diagnose the problem. The biologist observed the chickens, concluding, "I can tell you there's something wrong with your chickens, but I don't know what's causing it." The chemist took fluid samples from the chickens back to his lab, and returned saying, "I can tell you what's infecting your chickens, but I don't know how they got it." Meanwhile, the physicist had been sitting on the floor, scribbling madly on several notebooks worth of paper. Suddenly, he jumped up, exclaiming, "I have the answer, but it only works for spherical chickens in a vacuum." Actually, every physicist joke ends with "...spherical chicken". Except the one that ends with "...spherical gecko" of course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clippers of Nfl Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 Mine are doctor jokes. Doctor says, "Oh I'm glad I found you. You have 24 hous to live" Patient, "Oh dear" Doctor says, "The bad part, I've been trying to reach you since yesterday" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Tom Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? Getting her out of the wheel chair. I'm going straight to hell for that one. I've got a worse one. One SO bad, that you go to straight to hell just for hearing it. No profanity, but I'm not even sure the mods will let me post it, it's that bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GOBILLS78 Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 I've got a worse one. One SO bad, that you go to straight to hell just for hearing it. No profanity, but I'm not even sure the mods will let me post it, it's that bad. Is it about Tim Graham? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JÂy RÛßeÒ Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8I3zCQzZx68&feature=player_embedded Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Tom Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 Is it about Tim Graham? No. I don't think it's even possible to tell a joke this bad about Tim Graham. youtube.com/watch?v=8I3zCQzZx68&feature=player_embedded There was no fighting in the Ardennes on July 8, 1944. Fake! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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