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Posted

Well, grind me up and put me in the freezer, it's that time of year again.

 

First, let's review what we know right now.

 

(1) The Bills front office is doing all the right stuff because they're doing everything the fans want.

 

(2) You can once again determine when the Bills play the Patriots* by finding the Patriots * bye week and adding seven days.

 

(3) Bills fans are talking about their team making the playoffs based on the fact that the 2012 schedule looks easy, and that is based on stats from a season that will have no bearing on the upcoming season. But it sounds good, so what the hell.

 

(4) You know the NFL is serious about cracking down on injuries when they ask Mario Williams if he can count to seven Mississippi before going after Tom Bündchen.

 

(5) It's May 2012 and the Bills just sacked John Beck again.

 

(6) The Senator is predicting yet another 16-0 season.

 

So you know what all that means? It's time for the 7 1/2 Annual "Dinner's On Me, Smartass!" Competition.

 

Before we get to the objectives and rules, I have been asked to note that last year's competition was unexpectedly shut down because someone was offended by something in the commentary. So in order to keep this contest going this year, we need to ensure that everyone is on the same page. When posting your picks, please do not comment on anything other than football. Refrain from any and all jokes or comments that include, but are not limited to: politics, condoms, homosexuals (unless referring to cigarettes), mentally retarded people, Kate Upton's breasts (without the expressed written consent of Kate Upton's Breasts TM ), religion (this includes all Tebowing references, but not references to Bradying, etc.), knock-knock jokes, as well as anything to do with PETA, including and up to comments that come close to sounding like, "A horse walks into a bar...."

 

Okay...first, the objective: All you need to do to win this contest is accurately predict, right now, which games the Bills will win and lose this year. Just copy/paste the Bills 2012 Schedule and post it in a reply to this thread. Next to each game, predict whether the Bills will win or lose. The only way to win is to guess all games precisely. Whomever does so correctly will receive a $750 gift certificate to the restaurant of their choice. (If you find it necessary to comment on how $750 would barely get you past appetizers, please do so by abiding to the anti-inflammatory clauses noted above.)

 

Next, the rules. Read them carefully:

 

• All eligible participants must be registered posters of this board as of January 1, 2012 or earlier. Anyone new to the board after that date is not eligible.

 

• If, at the end of week 8, there are more than three people still in the contest , I will DOUBLE the amount to $1500, AND...the thread will be opened for 48 hours prior to kickoff of each week's game, and each remaining contestant will be able to change their pick for that week. The thread will close 24 hours before kickoff each week. We will continue to allow any and all remaining participants to change their picks each week until everyone is gone or the season is over. If less than three people make it past week 8, the awarded amount stays at $750, but the thread "MAY" be opened to allow those remaining participants to change their picks down the stretch. Alternately, it "MAY NOT" be opened. Just depends on how I'm feeling that week.

 

• You must be a legal resident of the United States to accept the prize.

 

• Regardless of how many winners there are, there is only one prize (not to exceed $1500), and it is split evenly amongst all winners in the form of gift certificates.

 

• Winners must pick all Bills wins/losses correctly. You do not receive anything for getting close. This isn't T-ball and I ain't your mommy.

 

• If you are a participant of this contest and at any time during this contest you are caught referring to anything related to the Patriots* without using the required asterisk, or if at any time during the season you are caught defending the Patriots* for their cheating ways, you are disqualified from the contest because there is plenty of room for fun, but no room for idiocy or laziness. They cheated. They get an asterisk. Don't like it? Invent your own freakin' contest.

 

• This thread will initially remain open until midnight (Buffalo time) this Saturday, May 12th, 2012, at which time it will be closed and remain closed unless I feel like randomly opening it for whatever reason floats my boat.

 

• Each eligible participant can only put in one entry. If you feel the need to cheat, fine. You have to live with yourself and outsmarting some dude who who's just trying to have fun can be your private little accomplishment.

 

• If, during the course of the competition, you are banned...welcome to the club.

 

• Non-bills fans and team-swapping whores ARE eligible to participate, but are also subjected to our ridicule whenever we please.

 

• I can change the rules to accommodate loopholes I may have overlooked, but the core of the contest remains true: pick all 16 games correctly, get the loot.

 

Week 1 9/9: Buffalo Bills at New York

Week 2 9/16 Kansas City Chiefs at Buffalo Bills

Week 3 9/23: Buffalo Bills at Cleveland Browns

Week 4 9/30: New England Patriots* at Buffalo Bills

Week 5 10/07: Buffalo Bills at San Francisco 49ers

Week 6 10/14: Buffalo Bills at Arizona Cardinals

Week 7 10/21: Tennessee Titans at Buffalo Bills

Week 8: BYE

Week 9: 11/04 Buffalo Bills at Houston Texans

Week 10: 11/11 Buffalo Bills at New England Patriots*

Week 11: 11/15 (Thurs) Miami Dolphins at Buffalo Bills

Week 12: 11/25 Buffalo Bills at Indianapolis Colts

Week 13: 12/02 Jacksonville Jaguars at Buffalo Bills

Week 14: 12/09 St. Louis Rams at Buffalo Bills

Week 15: 12/16 Seattle Seahawks at Buffalo Bills

Week 16: 12/23 Buffalo Bills at Miami Dolphins

Week 17: 12/30 New York Jets at Buffalo Bills

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Posted (edited)

Might as well make it 1,000,000 to the winner LA. You ain't gonna hand it out this year either. I don't think it is possible to pick em all.

 

On that note, what is the current record for weeks into the season before everyone is eliminated...

Edited by TheMadCap
Posted

Might as well make it 1,000,000 to the winner LA. You ain't gonna hand it out this year either. I don't think it is possible to pick em all.

 

On that note, what is the current record for weeks into the season before everyone is eliminated...

I said the same thing to the woman who ended up having the winning mega lottery ticket, and look what happened.

 

Okay, turns out she lied and didn't really have the ticket and it was a prank, but still...she wouldn't have almost won if she didn't play, right?

Posted

My usual entry, that if I win, me and the Senator will be eating fine!

 

Week 1 9/9: Buffalo Bills at New York W

Week 2 9/16 Kansas City Chiefs at Buffalo Bills W

Week 3 9/23: Buffalo Bills at Cleveland Browns W

Week 4 9/30: New England Patriots* at Buffalo Bills W

Week 5 10/07: Buffalo Bills at San Francisco 49ers W

Week 6 10/14: Buffalo Bills at Arizona Cardinals W

Week 7 10/21: Tennessee Titans at Buffalo Bills W

Week 8: BYE

Week 9: 11/04 Buffalo Bills at Houston Texans W

Week 10: 11/11 Buffalo Bills at New England Patriots* W

Week 11: 11/15 (Thurs) Miami Dolphins at Buffalo Bills W

Week 12: 11/25 Buffalo Bills at Indianapolis Colts W

Week 13: 12/02 Jacksonville Jaguars at Buffalo Bills W

Week 14: 12/09 St. Louis Rams at Buffalo Bills W

Week 15: 12/16 Seattle Seahawks at Buffalo Bills W

Week 16: 12/23 Buffalo Bills at Miami Dolphins W

Week 17: 12/30 New York Jets at Buffalo Bills W

 

I'll take an Applebees gift card please.

Posted

Week 1 9/9: Buffalo Bills at New York Loss

Week 2 9/16 Kansas City Chiefs at Buffalo Bills Win

Week 3 9/23: Buffalo Bills at Cleveland Browns Win

Week 4 9/30: New England Patriots* at Buffalo Bills Loss

Week 5 10/07: Buffalo Bills at San Francisco 49ers Loss

Week 6 10/14: Buffalo Bills at Arizona Cardinals Win

Week 7 10/21: Tennessee Titans at Buffalo Bills Win

Week 8: BYE

Week 9: 11/04 Buffalo Bills at Houston Texans Win

Week 10: 11/11 Buffalo Bills at New England Patriots* Loss

Week 11: 11/15 (Thurs) Miami Dolphins at Buffalo Bills Win

Week 12: 11/25 Buffalo Bills at Indianapolis Colts Win

Week 13: 12/02 Jacksonville Jaguars at Buffalo Bills Win

Week 14: 12/09 St. Louis Rams at Buffalo Bills Win

Week 15: 12/16 Seattle Seahawks at Buffalo Bills Loss

Week 16: 12/23 Buffalo Bills at Miami Dolphins Loss

Week 17: 12/30 New York Jets at Buffalo Bills Win

 

 

So that's 10-6, or 12-6 if you count the "win-win" that are Kate Upton's Breasts TM.

Posted

Week 1 9/9: Buffalo Bills at New York W

Week 2 9/16 Kansas City Chiefs at Buffalo Bills W

Week 3 9/23: Buffalo Bills at Cleveland Browns W

Week 4 9/30: New England Patriots at Buffalo Bills W

Week 5 10/07: Buffalo Bills at San Francisco 49ers L

Week 6 10/14: Buffalo Bills at Arizona Cardinals W

Week 7 10/21: Tennessee Titans at Buffalo Bills W

Week 8: BYE

Week 9: 11/04 Buffalo Bills at Houston Texans W

Week 10: 11/11 Buffalo Bills at New England Patriots L

Week 11: 11/15 (Thurs) Miami Dolphins at Buffalo Bills W

Week 12: 11/25 Buffalo Bills at Indianapolis Colts W

Week 13: 12/02 Jacksonville Jaguars at Buffalo Bills W

Week 14: 12/09 St. Louis Rams at Buffalo Bills W

Week 15: 12/16 Seattle Seahawks at Buffalo Bills L

Week 16: 12/23 Buffalo Bills at Miami Dolphins W

Week 17: 12/30 New York Jets at Buffalo Bills L

 

Thanks for running the contest!

Posted

Week 1 9/9: Buffalo Bills at New York W

Week 2 9/16 Kansas City Chiefs at Buffalo Bills W

Week 3 9/23: Buffalo Bills at Cleveland Browns W

Week 4 9/30: New England Patriots at Buffalo Bills W

Week 5 10/07: Buffalo Bills at San Francisco 49ers L

Week 6 10/14: Buffalo Bills at Arizona Cardinals W

Week 7 10/21: Tennessee Titans at Buffalo Bills L

Week 8: BYE

Week 9: 11/04 Buffalo Bills at Houston Texans L

Week 10: 11/11 Buffalo Bills at New England Patriots L

Week 11: 11/15 (Thurs) Miami Dolphins at Buffalo Bills W

Week 12: 11/25 Buffalo Bills at Indianapolis Colts W

Week 13: 12/02 Jacksonville Jaguars at Buffalo Bills W

Week 14: 12/09 St. Louis Rams at Buffalo Bills W

Week 15: 12/16 Seattle Seahawks at Buffalo Bills L

Week 16: 12/23 Buffalo Bills at Miami Dolphins W

Week 17: 12/30 New York Jets at Buffalo Bills W

Posted

Week 1 9/9: Buffalo Bills at New York WIN

Week 2 9/16 Kansas City Chiefs at Buffalo Bills WIN

Week 3 9/23: Buffalo Bills at Cleveland Browns WIN

Week 4 9/30: New England Patriots* at Buffalo Bills WIN

Week 5 10/07: Buffalo Bills at San Francisco 49ers WIN

Week 6 10/14: Buffalo Bills at Arizona Cardinals WIN

Week 7 10/21: Tennessee Titans at Buffalo Bills WIN

Week 8: BYE

Week 9: 11/04 Buffalo Bills at Houston Texans WIN

Week 10: 11/11 Buffalo Bills at New England Patriots* WIN

Week 11: 11/15 (Thurs) Miami Dolphins at Buffalo Bills WIN

Week 12: 11/25 Buffalo Bills at Indianapolis Colts WIN

Week 13: 12/02 Jacksonville Jaguars at Buffalo Bills WIN

Week 14: 12/09 St. Louis Rams at Buffalo Bills WIN

Week 15: 12/16 Seattle Seahawks at Buffalo Bills WIN

Week 16: 12/23 Buffalo Bills at Miami Dolphins WIN

Week 17: 12/30 New York Jets at Buffalo Bills WIN

 

16-0 on the way to 19-0

Posted

Week 1 9/9: Buffalo Bills at New York W

Week 2 9/16 Kansas City Chiefs at Buffalo Bills W

Week 3 9/23: Buffalo Bills at Cleveland Browns W

Week 4 9/30: New England Patriots* at Buffalo Bills L

Week 5 10/07: Buffalo Bills at San Francisco 49ers L

Week 6 10/14: Buffalo Bills at Arizona Cardinals W

Week 7 10/21: Tennessee Titans at Buffalo Bills W

Week 8: BYE

Week 9: 11/04 Buffalo Bills at Houston Texans L

Week 10: 11/11 Buffalo Bills at New England Patriots* L

Week 11: 11/15 (Thurs) Miami Dolphins at Buffalo Bills W

Week 12: 11/25 Buffalo Bills at Indianapolis Colts W

Week 13: 12/02 Jacksonville Jaguars at Buffalo Bills W

Week 14: 12/09 St. Louis Rams at Buffalo Bills W

Week 15: 12/16 Seattle Seahawks at Buffalo Bills W

Week 16: 12/23 Buffalo Bills at Miami Dolphins W

Week 17: 12/30 New York Jets at Buffalo Bills L

 

 

That's 11-5 and might I ask LA, why did you not put the * next to the Patriots*?

Posted

Let's try it out and see how poorly I do.

 

 

Week 1 9/9: Buffalo Bills at New York LOSE

Week 2 9/16 Kansas City Chiefs at Buffalo Bills WIN

Week 3 9/23: Buffalo Bills at Cleveland Browns WIN

Week 4 9/30: New England Patriots* at Buffalo Bills WIN

Week 5 10/07: Buffalo Bills at San Francisco 49ers LOSE

Week 6 10/14: Buffalo Bills at Arizona Cardinals WIN

Week 7 10/21: Tennessee Titans at Buffalo Bills LOSE

Week 8: BYE

Week 9: 11/04 Buffalo Bills at Houston Texans WIN

Week 10: 11/11 Buffalo Bills at New England Patriots* LOSE

Week 11: 11/15 (Thurs) Miami Dolphins at Buffalo Bills WIN

Week 12: 11/25 Buffalo Bills at Indianapolis Colts WIN

Week 13: 12/02 Jacksonville Jaguars at Buffalo Bills WIN

Week 14: 12/09 St. Louis Rams at Buffalo Bills WIN

Week 15: 12/16 Seattle Seahawks at Buffalo Bills LOSE

Week 16: 12/23 Buffalo Bills at Miami Dolphins WIN

Week 17: 12/30 New York Jets at Buffalo Bills WIN

 

11-5 - Not bad, I'd take it.

Posted (edited)

“It’s no secret...it’s time for us to take a step and be relative. My goal is to win 16 games.” - Buddy Nix, 4/25/2012

 

 

The Senator remains stalwart...

 

 

Week 1 9/9: Buffalo Bills at New York - WIN

Week 2 9/16 Kansas City Chiefs at Buffalo Bills - WIN

Week 3 9/23: Buffalo Bills at Cleveland Browns - WIN

Week 4 9/30: New England Patriots* at Buffalo Bills - WIN

Week 5 10/07: Buffalo Bills at San Francisco 49ers - WIN

Week 6 10/14: Buffalo Bills at Arizona Cardinals - WIN

Week 7 10/21: Tennessee Titans at Buffalo Bills - WIN

Week 8: BYE

Week 9: 11/04 Buffalo Bills at Houston Texans - WIN

Week 10: 11/11 Buffalo Bills at New England Patriots* - WIN

Week 11: 11/15 (Thurs) Miami Dolphins at Buffalo Bills - WIN

Week 12: 11/25 Buffalo Bills at Indianapolis Colts - WIN

Week 13: 12/02 Jacksonville Jaguars at Buffalo Bills - WIN

Week 14: 12/09 St. Louis Rams at Buffalo Bills - WIN

Week 15: 12/16 Seattle Seahawks at Buffalo Bills - WIN

Week 16: 12/23 Buffalo Bills at Miami Dolphins - WIN

Week 17: 12/30 New York Jets at Buffalo Bills- WIN

 

 

GO BILLSSS!!!!

"I expect to be undefeated...I expect to win every game." - Chan Gailey

19 and 0 baby!!!!! :beer:

.

Edited by The Senator
Posted

Week 1 9/9: Buffalo Bills at New York- LOSE

Week 2 9/16 Kansas City Chiefs at Buffalo Bills- WIN

Week 3 9/23: Buffalo Bills at Cleveland Browns- WIN

Week 4 9/30: New England Patriots at Buffalo Bills- LOSE

Week 5 10/07: Buffalo Bills at San Francisco 49ers- LOSE

Week 6 10/14: Buffalo Bills at Arizona Cardinals- LOSE

Week 7 10/21: Tennessee Titans at Buffalo Bills- WIN

Week 8: BYE

Week 9: 11/04 Buffalo Bills at Houston Texans- LOSE

Week 10: 11/11 Buffalo Bills at New England Patriots-LOSE

Week 11: 11/15 (Thurs) Miami Dolphins at Buffalo Bills- WIN

Week 12: 11/25 Buffalo Bills at Indianapolis Colts- WIN

Week 13: 12/02 Jacksonville Jaguars at Buffalo Bills- WIN

Week 14: 12/09 St. Louis Rams at Buffalo Bills- WIN

Week 15: 12/16 Seattle Seahawks at Buffalo Bills- LOSE

Week 16: 12/23 Buffalo Bills at Miami Dolphins- WIN

Week 17: 12/30 New York Jets at Buffalo Bills- WIN

 

9-7

Posted
That's 11-5 and might I ask LA, why did you not put the * next to the Patriots*?

Because what good is making my own rules if I can't be allowed to break them?

 

Actually, I'm a dumbass and make that mistake every year when I copy/paste the schedule

Posted

Week 1 9/9: Buffalo Bills at New York L

Week 2 9/16 Kansas City Chiefs at Buffalo Bills W

Week 3 9/23: Buffalo Bills at Cleveland Browns W

Week 4 9/30: New England Patriots* at Buffalo Bills W

Week 5 10/07: Buffalo Bills at San Francisco 49ers L

Week 6 10/14: Buffalo Bills at Arizona Cardinals W

Week 7 10/21: Tennessee Titans at Buffalo Bills L

Week 8: BYE

Week 9: 11/04 Buffalo Bills at Houston Texans L

Week 10: 11/11 Buffalo Bills at New England Patriots* L

Week 11: 11/15 (Thurs) Miami Dolphins at Buffalo Bills W

Week 12: 11/25 Buffalo Bills at Indianapolis Colts W

Week 13: 12/02 Jacksonville Jaguars at Buffalo Bills W

Week 14: 12/09 St. Louis Rams at Buffalo Bills W

Week 15: 12/16 Seattle Seahawks at Buffalo Bills W

Week 16: 12/23 Buffalo Bills at Miami Dolphins W

Week 17: 12/30 New York Jets at Buffalo Bills W

 

11-5 with everything falling into place down the stretch.

Posted

Week 1 9/9: Buffalo Bills at New York - Win

Week 2 9/16 Kansas City Chiefs at Buffalo Bills - Win

Week 3 9/23: Buffalo Bills at Cleveland Browns - Win

Week 4 9/30: New England Patriots* at Buffalo Bills - Win

Week 5 10/07: Buffalo Bills at San Francisco 49ers - Loss

Week 6 10/14: Buffalo Bills at Arizona Cardinals - Win

Week 7 10/21: Tennessee Titans at Buffalo Bills - Win

Week 8: BYE N/A

Week 9: 11/04 Buffalo Bills at Houston Texans - Loss

Week 10: 11/11 Buffalo Bills at New England Patriots* - Loss

Week 11: 11/15 (Thurs) Miami Dolphins at Buffalo Bills - Win

Week 12: 11/25 Buffalo Bills at Indianapolis Colts - Win

Week 13: 12/02 Jacksonville Jaguars at Buffalo Bills - Win

Week 14: 12/09 St. Louis Rams at Buffalo Bills - Win

Week 15: 12/16 Seattle Seahawks at Buffalo Bills - Win

Week 16: 12/23 Buffalo Bills at Miami Dolphins - Win

Week 17: 12/30 New York Jets at Buffalo Bills - Win

 

Wow that makes them 13-3(subject to change). The off-season is looking rather rosy.

I think Ruth Chris is the way to go with the gift card or maybe Mighty Taco.. tough choice.

Posted (edited)

I always wondered what happened last year...

 

 

Week 1 9/9: Buffalo Bills at New York L

Week 2 9/16 Kansas City Chiefs at Buffalo Bills W

Week 3 9/23: Buffalo Bills at Cleveland Browns W

Week 4 9/30: New England Patriots at Buffalo Bills L

Week 5 10/07: Buffalo Bills at San Francisco 49ers L

Week 6 10/14: Buffalo Bills at Arizona Cardinals L

Week 7 10/21: Tennessee Titans at Buffalo Bills W

Week 8: BYE

Week 9: 11/04 Buffalo Bills at Houston Texans L

Week 10: 11/11 Buffalo Bills at New England Patriots L

Week 11: 11/15 (Thurs) Miami Dolphins at Buffalo Bills W

Week 12: 11/25 Buffalo Bills at Indianapolis Colts W

Week 13: 12/02 Jacksonville Jaguars at Buffalo Bills W

Week 14: 12/09 St. Louis Rams at Buffalo Bills W

Week 15: 12/16 Seattle Seahawks at Buffalo Bills W

Week 16: 12/23 Buffalo Bills at Miami Dolphins W

Week 17: 12/30 New York Jets at Buffalo Bills W

 

Things will be looking bleak after we get swept by the Pats*, but then the Bills go on a tear to finish out at 10-6.

Edited by Rubes
Posted

Glad to see the contest in back!

Thanks!

I'm going with a 13-3 season for Chan's boys.

Yikes, four months and two days until opening day.

 

Week 1 9/9: Buffalo Bills at New York - W

Week 2 9/16 Kansas City Chiefs at Buffalo Bills - W

Week 3 9/23: Buffalo Bills at Cleveland Browns - W

Week 4 9/30: New England Patriots* at Buffalo Bills - W

Week 5 10/07: Buffalo Bills at San Francisco 49ers - L

Week 6 10/14: Buffalo Bills at Arizona Cardinals - W

Week 7 10/21: Tennessee Titans at Buffalo Bills - W

Week 8: BYE

Week 9: 11/04 Buffalo Bills at Houston Texans - W

Week 10: 11/11 Buffalo Bills at New England Patriots* - L

Week 11: 11/15 (Thurs) Miami Dolphins at Buffalo Bills - W

Week 12: 11/25 Buffalo Bills at Indianapolis Colts - W

Week 13: 12/02 Jacksonville Jaguars at Buffalo Bills - W

Week 14: 12/09 St. Louis Rams at Buffalo Bills - W

Week 15: 12/16 Seattle Seahawks at Buffalo Bills - W

Week 16: 12/23 Buffalo Bills at Miami Dolphins - W

Week 17: 12/30 New York Jets at Buffalo Bills - L

Posted (edited)

W - Week 1 9/9: Buffalo Bills at New York

W - Week 2 9/16 Kansas City Chiefs at Buffalo Bills

W - Week 3 9/23: Buffalo Bills at Cleveland Browns

W - Week 4 9/30: New England Patriots* at Buffalo Bills

L - Week 5 10/07: Buffalo Bills at San Francisco 49ers

W - Week 6 10/14: Buffalo Bills at Arizona Cardinals

W - Week 7 10/21: Tennessee Titans at Buffalo Bills

Week 8: BYE

L - Week 9: 11/04 Buffalo Bills at Houston Texans

W - Week 10: 11/11 Buffalo Bills at New England Patriots*

W - Week 11: 11/15 (Thurs) Miami Dolphins at Buffalo Bills

W - Week 12: 11/25 Buffalo Bills at Indianapolis Colts

W - Week 13: 12/02 Jacksonville Jaguars at Buffalo Bills

W - Week 14: 12/09 St. Louis Rams at Buffalo Bills

W - Week 15: 12/16 Seattle Seahawks at Buffalo Bills

W - Week 16: 12/23 Buffalo Bills at Miami Dolphins

L - Week 17: 12/30 New York Jets at Buffalo Bills (resting starters)

 

This entry brought to you by Candice Swanepoel's Ass TM

Edited by eball
Posted

So we can't even call Brady a fag?

If by fag you mean tobacco wrapped in paper or a a junior boy who acts or acted as servant to a senior boy at a British independent school, then yes. Yes, you can.

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