Idiot Insurance....using the Obamacare method

[OCinBuffalo]

In the other thread, I started thinking about the bad, either real or supposed, inherent characteristics people possess, and forcing them to insure against them due to the effect they may have on society.

 

This is the argument that is used for the healthcare mandate. "We need to force people to buy insurance because so many people aren't covered, and that costs society a lot of money."

 

Well, the same argument could be used for the less intelligent, those with poor coordination, those with addictive personalities, those with low moral character, etc. And these arguments are stronger than the one for health insurance, because we don't necessarily know who is going to get sick, but, we are sure that an idiot is going to be an idiot 80% of the time. So, here's my new line of insurance products, and the useful thing is they can easily be, pooled, sold as TPAs, etc.

 

Idiot Insurance: Have a crackhead for a mom? Leaf's fan that keeps telling yourself your franchise isn't that bad? Then this is the insurance for you. You were born an idiot, and it's not your fault if you wind up dead. However, it is a problem if you take other people with you. Therefore, the government can force you to buy this insurance to protect society from paying for your idiocy. Full coverage for all of the stupid things you do, say, and think, that causes either you or society general harm. Government imposed, regulatory anti-idiot beneficiary clause: you may not name another idiot as beneficiary and have them name you. Otherwise, you both might die doing something idiotic, and then the evil insurance company keeps all the money! Just ask Nancy Pelosi and Joe Biden....they're both happy customers!

 

Clutz Insurance: Do you trip over the invisible, causing co-workers to study flat carpet to see if there's even a microscopic wrinkle, thus wasting time and enraging your boss because now we are late? Did your boss have to buy you a new machine 3 times because you keep spilling your soda/coffee/wine onto it? Did you spill multiple wine glasses, twice, at a work dinner, giving your boss wine swamp ass? Is your name Paula? Then the government, and your boss, can mandate this insurance for you. In fact, your boss is calling his Congressman right now!

 

Ignorant/Lying Slut Insurance: You can also buy companion anti-slut insurance. Look, not everybody was raised properly, so not everybody knows that they don't have to be a slut. And, not everybody realizes that while it may be OK to be a slut, it's not Ok to lie about it. You can't control yourself, because daddy couldn't control himself. It's not your fault, you were made this way, and society will get violence, diseases, and Paris Hilton as a result. Before you kill your own kid, because you don't want to be tied down and a little chloroform will keep her quiet, please consider buying our slut insurance. For those people concerned about getting involved with a slut, the anti-slut policy indemnifies against all financial and court costs resulting from slutty behavior. We can force sluts to buy insurance, solely based on the trouble they cause in bars, where they insist on hitting on strangers, who have no idea that the slut has a boyfriend/husband. The aggregate cost of that to society alone, more than justifies the mandate.

 

I am sure there are more!

Edited April 4, 2012 by OCinBuffalo

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Kool-Aid® Hangover Insurance Ever drink too much of the Kool-Aid® only to realize it was all totall bullschitt and you got played like a chump? Guess what, you're stuck with it for four years and trillions in debt. But for a nominal fee we'll send you surplus McCain/Palin or Bob Barr bumper stickers and a prepaid shipping container to send us your discarded Yes We Can Hope and Change T-Shirts, plus a scraping tool to remove any unwanted bumper stickers (assuming you had not Cash For Clunkered your vehicle). So you may be stuck with extra fees, hidden taxes, and a devalued dollar you don't have to admit to your friends what a fool you were.

[DC Tom]

In the other thread, I started thinking about the bad, either real or supposed, inherent characteristics people possess, and forcing them to insure against them due to the effect they may have on society.

 

This is the argument that is used for the healthcare mandate. "We need to force people to buy insurance because so many people aren't covered, and that costs society a lot of money."

 

Well, the same argument could be used for the less intelligent, those with poor coordination, those with addictive personalities, those with low moral character, etc. And these arguments are stronger than the one for health insurance, because we don't necessarily know who is going to get sick, but, we are sure that an idiot is going to be an idiot 80% of the time. So, here's my new line of insurance products, and the useful thing is they can easily be, pooled, sold as TPAs, etc.

 

Idiot Insurance: Have a crackhead for a mom? Leaf's fan that keeps telling yourself your franchise isn't that bad? Then this is the insurance for you. You were born an idiot, and it's not your fault if you wind up dead. However, it is a problem if you take other people with you. Therefore, the government can force you to buy this insurance to protect society from paying for your idiocy. Full coverage for all of the stupid things you do, say, and think, that causes either you or society general harm. Government imposed, regulatory anti-idiot beneficiary clause: you may not name another idiot as beneficiary and have them name you. Otherwise, you both might die doing something idiotic, and then the evil insurance company keeps all the money! Just ask Nancy Pelosi and Joe Biden....they're both happy customers!