Just in Atlanta Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 (edited) After intense jubilation due to our epic signing of Mario Williams, I think sober analysis is needed here. Hence, eight reasons why Mario was a bad signing: 8. He's not THE answer. I'm just as excited as anyone that a lowly city like Buffalo got someone as dynamic as Mario, but he alone isn't going to win games for us. Can he throw the ball? Or catch it? What about playing guard? Can he cover wide receivers? Nope, didn't think so. 7. His work ethic is lacking. Last year, after wimping out due to a sore chest muscle, Mario got only five sacks in the five games he played in. Really?! He couldn't get more sacks than Dareus--a rookie--who got 5.5 in 16 games? And how much more is Mario getting paid than Dareus? 6. He won't gel with other players. Chemistry wins titles, not individuals. Mario, I hear, is a Republican. Dareus is a staunch Democrat. K. Williams, a Libertarian. I don't see these political odd couples gelling here, Bills fans. 5. He's not nasty enough. All the great DEs have criminal records or personal demons. Alonzo Spellman. Lawrence Taylor. Leonard Little. Ray Lewis. Even Bruce Smith struggled a little with the bottle. Apparently, Mario has no run-ins with the law or any vices. Sorry, I want a barbarian rushing Tom Brady, not a teetotaling choir boy. 4. He has no social life. I just read a story in the Houston Chron and the reporter said Mario never even went to an Astros or Rockets game! Seriously?! Maybe that's why, when asked why he chose Buffalo, he said "I don't care about extracurricular crap." Great, now we have a football player who only likes to play football, think about playing football and kill deer. Doesn't seem like a very balanced individual if you ask me. 3. He likes to shoot animals. Speaking of killing deer, my NPR-listening, Volvo-driving friend tells me anyone who hunts for sport is lacking in IQ and has latent homicidal feelings. Does that sound like the kind of DE we want in Buffalo? 2. He raised the salary bar too high. Everyone is saying junk like "Now free agents are going to WANT to come to Buffalo." OK, fine. But they're also going to want like $100 million. So we probably won't EVER sign a free agent again. Great. And the No. 1 reason why Mario was a bad signing... 1. He just bankrupted Mr. Wilson. Remember that vision of free agent wide receivers jumping in our heads? Nix just called Alvin Harper, according to this report. Couldn't even afford him. Thanks, Mario! Edited March 16, 2012 by JustinAtlanta
Miyagi-Do Karate Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Haha; nice. Thank goodness you were joking.
jjmac Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 (edited) After intense jubilation due to our epic signing of Mario Williams, I think sober analysis is needed here. Hence, eight reasons why Mario was a bad signing: 8. He's not THE answer. I'm just as excited as anyone that a lowly city like Buffalo got someone as dynamic as Mario, but he alone isn't going to win games for us. Can he throw the ball? Or catch it? What about playing guard? Can he cover wide receivers? Nope, didn't think so. 7. His work ethic is lacking. Last year, after wimping out due to a sore chest muscle, Mario got only five sacks in the five games he played in. Really?! He couldn't get more sacks than Dareus--a rookie--who got 5.5 in 16 games? And how much more is Mario getting paid than Dareus? 6. He won't gel with other players. Chemistry wins titles, not individuals. Mario, I hear, is a Republican. Dareus is a staunch Democrat. K. Williams, a Libertarian. I don't see these political odd couples gelling here, Bills fans. 5. He's not nasty enough. All the great DEs have criminal records or personal demons. Alonzo Spellman. Lawrence Taylor. Leonard Little. Ray Lewis. Even Bruce Smith struggled a little with the bottle. Apparently, Mario has no run-ins with the law or any vices. Sorry, I want a barbarian rushing Tom Brady, not a teetotaling choir boy. 4. He has no social life. I just read a story in the Houston Chron and the reporter said Mario never even went to an Astros or Rockets game! Seriously?! Maybe that's why, when asked why he chose Buffalo, he said "I don't care about extracurricular crap." Great, now we have a football player who only likes to play football, think about playing football and kill deer. Doesn't seem like a very balanced individual if you ask me. 3. He likes to shoot animals. Speaking of killing deer, my NPR-listening, Volvo-driving friend tells me anyone who hunts for sport is lacking in IQ and has latent homicidal feelings. Does that sound like the kind of DE we want in Buffalo? 2. He raised the salary bar too high. Everyone is saying junk like "Now free agents are going to WANT to come to Buffalo." OK, fine. But they're also going to want like $100 million. So we probably won't EVER sign a free agent again. Great. And the No. 1 reason why Mario was a bad signing... 1. He just bankrupted Mr. Wilson. Remember that vision of free agent wide receivers jumping in our heads? Nix just called Alvin Harper, according to this report. Couldn't even afford him. Thanks, Mario! In #5 you call Mario a tea-totalling choir boy, and then pine for a barbarian. Yet in point 3 you bemoan his hunting and latent homicidal feelings. There is a disconnect here. BTW, doesn't Kyle Williams fill the barbarian role? Edited March 16, 2012 by jjmac
poo Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 5. He's not nasty enough. All the great DEs have criminal records or personal demons. Alonzo Spellman. Lawrence Taylor. Leonard Little. Ray Lewis. Even Bruce Smith struggled a little with the bottle. Apparently, Mario has no run-ins with the law or any vices. Sorry, I want a barbarian rushing Tom Brady, not a teetotaling choir boy. 3. He likes to shoot animals. Speaking of killing deer, my NPR-listening, Volvo-driving friend tells me anyone who hunts for sport is lacking in IQ and has latent homicidal feelings. Does that sound like the kind of DE we want in Buffalo? Aren't these two things mutually exclusive? Also, he is apparently a demon behind the wheel and ran into the law because of it. Thank goodness marshawn didn't drive that fast.
bills_fan_in_raleigh Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Title got me going but the content was great
Just in Atlanta Posted March 16, 2012 Author Posted March 16, 2012 In #5 you call Mario a tea-totalling choir boy, and then pine for a barbarian. Yet in point 3 you bemoan his hunting and latent homicidal feelings. There is a disconnect here. BTW, doesn't Kyle Williams fill the barbarian role? I know many church folk who don't drink but like to shoot the living **** out of animals in the woods. I wouldn't call them barbarians at all. I personally prefer a barbarian who likes to tear it up on a Saturday night, not make deer jerky in his dehydrator.
gobillsinytown Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 "5. He's not nasty enough. All the great DEs have criminal records or personal demons. Alonzo Spellman. Lawrence Taylor. Leonard Little. Ray Lewis. Even Bruce Smith struggled a little with the bottle. Apparently, Mario has no run-ins with the law or any vices. Sorry, I want a barbarian rushing Tom Brady, not a teetotaling choir boy." -Actually the rumor was that Bruce was struggling with coke. So basically all we as Bills Fans have to do is to introduce Mario to homicidal maniacs, drug dealers, and maybe a pimp or two. Now that I think about it though, we should just probably hook him up with Taylor. Mario would learn everything he needed to know in one night. Who's got Taylor's cell phone number?
dancing_joker Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 "5. He's not nasty enough. All the great DEs have criminal records or personal demons. Alonzo Spellman. Lawrence Taylor. Leonard Little. Ray Lewis. Even Bruce Smith struggled a little with the bottle. Apparently, Mario has no run-ins with the law or any vices. Sorry, I want a barbarian rushing Tom Brady, not a teetotaling choir boy." -Actually the rumor was that Bruce was struggling with coke. So basically all we as Bills Fans have to do is to introduce Mario to homicidal maniacs, drug dealers, and maybe a pimp or two. Now that I think about it though, we should just probably hook him up with Taylor. Mario would learn everything he needed to know in one night. Who's got Taylor's cell phone number? Bruce Sniff didn't struggle with coke. He dominated it.
brianhawkeye2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 I know many church folk who don't drink but like to shoot the living **** out of animals in the woods. I wouldn't call them barbarians at all. I personally prefer a barbarian who likes to tear it up on a Saturday night, not make deer jerky in his dehydrator. Your ungreatfull. Mario was a great signing Im getting sick of negative things said about our team. I bet a hot stripper wouldnt get you hard.... HELL I BET IF WE SIGNED PEYTON MANNING YOU WOULD FIND SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT. Shut up!!!!!
nucci Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Your ungreatfull. Mario was a great signing Im getting sick of negative things said about our team. I bet a hot stripper wouldnt get you hard.... HELL I BET IF WE SIGNED PEYTON MANNING YOU WOULD FIND SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT. Shut up!!!!! Easy , easy....sarcasm. It happens a lot here and not always easy to catch.
brianhawkeye2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 (edited) Easy , easy....sarcasm. It happens a lot here and not always easy to catch. He sounded pretty serious to me!!!!! I was refering to the very 1st post (8 reasons) Edited March 16, 2012 by brianhawkeye2012
DanInUticaTampa Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Easy , easy....sarcasm. It happens a lot here and not always easy to catch. Well, might not always be easy to catch, but this was obvious
DC Tom Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 BREAKING NEWS: PFT reports that the Buffalo Bills are having second thoughts about the Mario Williams signing. And regards #2...five sacks in five games is only marginally worse than the Bills' entire defense last year. I was refering to the very 1st post (8 reasons) No ****, really? Maybe you're not cut out for this whole social interaction thingy. Ever consider becoming a hermit?
DanInUticaTampa Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 He sounded pretty serious to me!!!!! I was refering to the very 1st post (8 reasons) Hahaha, wow
jjmac Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 I know many church folk who don't drink but like to shoot the living **** out of animals in the woods. I wouldn't call them barbarians at all. I personally prefer a barbarian who likes to tear it up on a Saturday night, not make deer jerky in his dehydrator. But what about those "latent homicidal feelings?"
Billshank Redemption Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 hahaha I didnt read your explanations just the bold phrases... pretty funny
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