Fan in San Diego Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 Find the half way point geographically and on weekends you each drive to the middle and hang out there. That way each shares the load on gas and driving.
Cynical Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 Given the bolded, (and i'm going to flat out give you the harsh truth), it sounds like she wants to ride as much pole as she can before she enters the real world. Maybe, maybe not. (OP did say she was shy.) The fact that she has new friends and wants a break, yeah, there is at least one guy that piqued her interest, and he's local. She wants to test those waters without fully letting you go. I concur with the others. Time to head out, and see what you can find locally.
Captain Hindsight Posted August 27, 2012 Author Posted August 27, 2012 Maybe, maybe not. (OP did say she was shy.) The fact that she has new friends and wants a break, yeah, there is at least one guy that piqued her interest, and he's local. She wants to test those waters without fully letting you go. I concur with the others. Time to head out, and see what you can find locally. Im reluctant to do that until I know fully where I stand with her. We are still a couple on Facebook. She hasnt changed that and I'm not sure what to think about it until I talk to her again. I decided to wait a few days before contacting her again just to let things settle and before tempers rage and destroy everything. My thinking right now is, Ive invested a lot in this relationship, I love her, and Im in no rush to find someone else. Im going to be coming home around thanksgiving so finding a girl down there for 3 months isnt worth it to me. After talking with my sister last night, I'm gonna let this whole thing play out. I drove almost 700 miles to go see her every few weeks. She meant that much to me. I dont regret doing it and I would do it again. Until I know where we stand as a couple, single, whatever, Im not gonna do anything to jeopardize a future with her
kegtapr Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 Im reluctant to do that until I know fully where I stand with her. We are still a couple on Facebook. She hasnt changed that and I'm not sure what to think about it until I talk to her again. I decided to wait a few days before contacting her again just to let things settle and before tempers rage and destroy everything. My thinking right now is, Ive invested a lot in this relationship, I love her, and Im in no rush to find someone else. Im going to be coming home around thanksgiving so finding a girl down there for 3 months isnt worth it to me. After talking with my sister last night, I'm gonna let this whole thing play out. I drove almost 700 miles to go see her every few weeks. She meant that much to me. I dont regret doing it and I would do it again. Until I know where we stand as a couple, single, whatever, Im not gonna do anything to jeopardize a future with her Sorry my friend, but she already has another man or at least has one in mind. Time for you to bang a few hoes, even if you do get back together with her, in 10 years you'll wish you used this opportunity, especially after you find out she did.
KD in CA Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 Im reluctant to do that until I know fully where I stand with her. We are still a couple on Facebook. She hasnt changed that and I'm not sure what to think about it until I talk to her again. I decided to wait a few days before contacting her again just to let things settle and before tempers rage and destroy everything. My thinking right now is, Ive invested a lot in this relationship, I love her, and Im in no rush to find someone else. Im going to be coming home around thanksgiving so finding a girl down there for 3 months isnt worth it to me. After talking with my sister last night, I'm gonna let this whole thing play out. I drove almost 700 miles to go see her every few weeks. She meant that much to me. I dont regret doing it and I would do it again. Until I know where we stand as a couple, single, whatever, Im not gonna do anything to jeopardize a future with her Important question: how many times did she drive (or take the train, bus, etc) 700 miles to see you? My guess is that Cynical is closest to being right. There's a fun, new guy on the scene and she's young and fickle and not looking for a permanent relationship anyway. "I have a boyfriend 700 miles away" isn't a lot of fun for a girl, and it's certainly an invitation for any guy to hit on her. As for your phone call, everyone says 'I still love you' when they are breaking up with someone so she may have just been trying to let you down easy.
Captain Hindsight Posted August 27, 2012 Author Posted August 27, 2012 Important question: how many times did she drive (or take the train, bus, etc) 700 miles to see you? My guess is that Cynical is closest to being right. There's a fun, new guy on the scene and she's young and fickle and not looking for a permanent relationship anyway. "I have a boyfriend 700 miles away" isn't a lot of fun for a girl, and it's certainly an invitation for any guy to hit on her. As for your phone call, everyone says 'I still love you' when they are breaking up with someone so she may have just been trying to let you down easy. You guys may be right. that was actually one of my first thoughts when she said all this. I dont want to assume to much right now because it really might not be the case. If there was another guy on the scene Im sure she wouldnt keep us a couple on FB. Shed want to let him know soon I would think. This happened over two days ago. Its not like she hasnt had time. I refuse to do it because this isnt my idea. She made the trip a few times. She doesnt have a car which makes it difficult and she had a job this summer that required her to work nights weekend ect. If after i talk to her in a few days and see where we stand then I'll make a decision about whether to pursue something else and move on. Until then, a week to let things settle isnt going to mean much in the grand scheme of things. I appreciate all the advice though guys
KD in CA Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 Just encourage her to be upfront with you when you speak and don't get angry no matter what she says (and don't put too much stock in Facebook updates -- if there is another guy it's new and he doesn't give a damn what her Facebook says). But for you it's better to know the ugly truth so you can start to move on. And "move on" means dealing with the reality that it's over. That's different (and more important) than "start dating others". Nothing wrong with going solo for a few months.
birdog1960 Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 had 2 long distance relationships. one worked out beautifully and one crashed and burned. thankfully, the good one happened after the bad. i see it as a stress test for a relationship which is a good thing cuz there will surely be more stressful times to weather as a couple. if the relationship can't withstand a few months of seperation, it wasn't very strong or likely destined to ever be very strong.
John Adams Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 Please don't evaluate the strength of a relationship on a facebook relationship status. C'mon man: You're broken up. To put it in a context that the pre-Facebook generation would relate to, just because she has your varsity jacket doesn't mean you're still steady.
GOBILLS78 Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 !@#$ a lot of women, kid. I have no reason to lie to you. Not one woman. A lot of women. You heard what I said? Basically. The only thing I will add is one more "a lot."
BuffaloBill Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 O please do . Tell us all. He just really wants to know if she is good in the sack.... Time will tell if it is meant to be
drinkTHEkoolaid Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 Dude girls wanting space means they want to ride new pole and not feel guilty over it....she probably honestly doesn't want to hurt you and she has a comfort level with you so she wants to let you down easy and perhaps keep you hanging around in case she decides she made a mistake. Don't pay attention to Facebook status....it doesn't mean much other than a sentimental comfort blanket for you to be able to sleep at night as long as the status doesn't change regardless what is happening in the real relationship. Honestly take a step back. Evaluate your life. What you like, what you want to do etc... plan for life without her and start moving on. If she realizes she loves you great she will be back. If not then you didn't actually lose anything. Go out and enjoy life. You are in a great time of your life with minimal responsibility. Enjoy it now or regret it later
Captain Hindsight Posted August 28, 2012 Author Posted August 28, 2012 Its over... were gonna see how we feel in november when im home but i doubt anything will happen
WhitewalkerInPhilly Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 I'll be completely honest with you: the exact same thing happened to me a few months ago. We kept it going for a year afterwards, but it sounds like we had the same problem: moving on out after school, going to different cities and barely seeing each other. It sucks. It completely sucks. But you tried, and if you loved her there was no way you were simply going to give up without doing that much.
Ramius Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 Its over... were gonna see how we feel in november when im home but i doubt anything will happen That seems to be for the best. Just remember, you don't need to regret everything you did for her just because you guys broke up. But it's important to move on. Don't sit around banking on something happening in November. Go out and bag some hoes, or just hang out with some of your friends and cheer on the Bills. It's important to live your life how YOU want, and not worry about what SHE will think. Also remember, there will ALWAYS be another girl down the road that will make you feel as strongly as you did for her.
mead107 Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 Its over... were gonna see how we feel in november when im home but i doubt anything will happen Very sorry. Have seen it before. When they say they want a break it means they want someone else.
Captain Hindsight Posted August 28, 2012 Author Posted August 28, 2012 That seems to be for the best. Just remember, you don't need to regret everything you did for her just because you guys broke up. But it's important to move on. Don't sit around banking on something happening in November. Go out and bag some hoes, or just hang out with some of your friends and cheer on the Bills. It's important to live your life how YOU want, and not worry about what SHE will think. Also remember, there will ALWAYS be another girl down the road that will make you feel as strongly as you did for her. Thanks for the kinds words guys. Im lucky to have the support system I got. Brother, sister and mom and dad all called me within about 20 mins to see how i was doing and said something similar. Ill be ok. Well try to stay friends but I did alot for her, I have no regrets other than I wish she was willing to stick it out like I was willing to. Gonna go bang someone tomorrow if i can
kegtapr Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 Gonna go bang someone tomorrow if i can That's the spirit!
mead107 Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 Thanks for the kinds words guys. Im lucky to have the support system I got. Brother, sister and mom and dad all called me within about 20 mins to see how i was doing and said something similar. Ill be ok. Well try to stay friends but I did alot for her, I have no regrets other than I wish she was willing to stick it out like I was willing to. Gonna go bang someone tomorrow if i can Pics please.
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