Captain Hindsight Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 Hey guys, I know this typically isn't the forum for this kid of stuff but you guys give me straight answers and I appreciate that. Ive been dating this girl for a few months and not long after we started dating I got a job about 5 hours away. Its really more of an internship so I don't get paid a lot so I can only go see her every 3 or 4 weeks for 3 days at a time. Needless to say its a little hard on both of us. I think she feels like she's left alone and just kind of waiting for when we can see each other again. I try to encourage her to go and live but she's a little resistant (she's shy anyway) We do the Skype every night and texting/emails. I send her a letter every week but i feel like thats getting a little stale. She's a keeper, (huge sports fan and extremely cute) Our first date was a hockey game (her idea), like cmon if that doesn't scream keeper idk what does. Anyone ever been in this situation before? Any ideas?
The Poojer Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 (edited) Pics? and if i wind up giving advice...do the exact opposite.... Hey guys, I know this typically isn't the forum for this kid of stuff but you guys give me straight answers and I appreciate that. Ive been dating this girl for a few months and not long after we started dating I got a job about 5 hours away. Its really more of an internship so I don't get paid a lot so I can only go see her every 3 or 4 weeks for 3 days at a time. Needless to say its a little hard on both of us. I think she feels like she's left alone and just kind of waiting for when we can see each other again. I try to encourage her to go and live but she's a little resistant (she's shy anyway) We do the Skype every night and texting/emails. I send her a letter every week but i feel like thats getting a little stale. She's a keeper, (huge sports fan and extremely cute) Our first date was a hockey game (her idea), like cmon if that doesn't scream keeper idk what does. Anyone ever been in this situation before? Any ideas? Edited March 3, 2012 by The Poojer
Captain Hindsight Posted March 3, 2012 Author Posted March 3, 2012 Pics? and if i wind up giving advice...do the exact opposite.... I was wondering how long til that would come up Shed probably kick my ass if i posted a pic here so won't but trust me she's cute
BillsWatch Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 I met my wife as a tourist in Hong Kong. We dated while I was there but I knew I could not stay and when I got back I applied for a fiancee visa for her; the months between separation in Hong Kong and when it was approved months later was one of the toughest period of my life but worth it. We have been married for almost 25 years now. We were doing communication thing before Skype and when phone calls were a lot more expensive. If she is a keeper do whatever you need to do to keep her.
mead107 Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 You did say it is only for a few months? Send her flowers. How often is she coming to see you? Start her posting with us. we will take good care of her.
SageAgainstTheMachine Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 To echo others, if she's a keeper she's a keeper. Of course that entails a lot more than being cute and liking hockey (those are 2 pretty big credits though!).
ofiba Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 I suggest each of you driving 2.5 hours and meet halfway to see each other more often.
Captain Hindsight Posted March 3, 2012 Author Posted March 3, 2012 To echo others, if she's a keeper she's a keeper. Of course that entails a lot more than being cute and liking hockey (those are 2 pretty big credits though!). O theres much more to it i figured i wouldn't bore all of you with the details
mead107 Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 1330813284[/url]' post='2394233']O theres much more to it i figured i wouldn't bore all of you with the details O please do . Tell us all.
boyst Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 Long distance relationships are next to impossible. I was in one for a short time and it was so right that it could not work out unless we were together. I know it goes against the whole perfect for each other but that's how it was. Nonetheless, just don't let it get stale and do not try to act like it is bothering you. My biggest mistake is that I would always act like I could live my life thinking she wouldn't have to worry about me missing her all the time. I did miss her a lot. After a while she said it felt like I no longer held her or the relationship as a priority and we had to talk about it. I guess, the point of the story is communication.
mead107 Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 1330813900[/url]' post='2394236']Long distance relationships are next to impossible. I was in one for a short time and it was so right that it could not work out unless we were together. I know it goes against the whole perfect for each other but that's how it was. Nonetheless, just don't let it get stale and do not try to act like it is bothering you. My biggest mistake is that I would always act like I could live my life thinking she wouldn't have to worry about me missing her all the time. I did miss her a lot. After a while she said it felt like I no longer held her or the relationship as a priority and we had to talk about it. I guess, the point of the story is communication. Big brown eyes? Goes moo?
DC Tom Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 Long distance relationships are next to impossible. I was in one for a short time and it was so right that it could not work out unless we were together. I know it goes against the whole perfect for each other but that's how it was. Nonetheless, just don't let it get stale and do not try to act like it is bothering you. My biggest mistake is that I would always act like I could live my life thinking she wouldn't have to worry about me missing her all the time. I did miss her a lot. After a while she said it felt like I no longer held her or the relationship as a priority and we had to talk about it. I guess, the point of the story is communication. But...my sister met a guy one New Year's Eve who had to fly back home to London two days later. They dated trans-oceanically for one or two years...been married five years now. "Next to impossible" does not mean "impossible". IF anything, it's probably easier with the internet now.
JoeFerguson Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 I started dating my wife when we were both juniors in college (2000-2001). In 2002 she moved to NYC and I stayed in Buffalo to continue with grad school. In 2007 she moved to Milwaukee. During this time we maintained our relationship. In 2009 I moved to Milwaukee and in with her. Long distance relationships aren't for everyone, but if you love each other you end up figuring out the logistics.
boyst Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 But...my sister met a guy one New Year's Eve who had to fly back home to London two days later. They dated trans-oceanically for one or two years...been married five years now. "Next to impossible" does not mean "impossible". IF anything, it's probably easier with the internet now. I agree. we'd skype, etc. cell phones with unlimited calling and text, all that. i have never had a relationship with that level of communication and dependency (it actually felt comfortable). All we had was communication.
stevestojan Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 Coming from a guy who's first marriage lasted less time than the last Sabres Stanley Cup parade, take this with a huge grain of muddy rock salt from the bottom of your winter boots, but if she's a "keeper" you wouldn't be asking strangers our opinions.
ICanSleepWhenI'mDead Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 OK, this assumes she's a "keeper" who hasn't made you any real promises yet (and vice versa), and the following level of effort would be easier than trying to trade up in your new location: If her housing/job situation allows it, and she's an animal lover, think about getting her a puppy (or he11, even a cat [gag]). It will be a constant reminder of you. Reinforce the association by naming it after her favorite hockey player that you watched on your first date. Don't try this if you aren't sure how she feels about pets or aren't sure if a pet would be compatible with her housing/job situation. But it sounds like you have dated enough that you ought to have some idea if this makes sense.
IDBillzFan Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 How old are you two? That'll help you find the answer.
stevestojan Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 How old are you two? That'll help you find the answer. Valid point. A lot hinges on that variable .
Corp000085 Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 I dated a girl for 2 years from 4 hours away. Then I married her. My point? If she's a keeper, you don't need to ask. Youll figure it out.
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