taterhill Posted December 23, 2004 Posted December 23, 2004 deer santa: >>I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer. >>Yer Frend, >>BiLLy >> >>Dear Billy, >>Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I >>send you a frigging book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving >>your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell! >>Santa >> >> >> >> >>Dear Santa, >>I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace >>and joy in the world for everybody! >>Love, >>Sarah >> >>Dear Sarah, >>Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? >>Santa >> >> >> >>Dear Santa, >>I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy >>and da! ddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. >>Love, >>Teddy >> >>Dear Teddy, >>Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. >>Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid, fat mom, >>who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get >>you some nice Legos instead. Maybe you can build yourself a family with >>those? >>Santa >> >> >> >>Dear Santa, >>I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum >>kit, a pony and a tuba. >>Love, >>Francis >> >>Dear Francis, >>Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay. >>Santa >> >> >> >>Dear Santa, >>I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for >>y! our reindeer outside the back door. >>Love, >>Susan< BR>>> >>Dear Susan, >>Milk gives me the ***** and carrots make the deer fart in my face when >>riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Two words, Jim Beam. >>Santa >> >> >> >>Dear Santa, >>What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys? >>Your friend, >>Thomas >> >>Dear Thomas, >>All the toys are made by little kids like you in China Every year I give >>them a slice of bread as a Christmas bonus. I have a condo in Vegas, where >>I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by >>drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while >>losing money at the craps table. >>Santa >>P.S. >>Tell your mom she got the part. >> >> >> >> >> >>Dear Santa, >>Do yo! u see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, >>like in the song? >>Love, >>Jessica >> >>Dear Jessica, >>Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping >>your house. >>Santa >> >>&nbs! p; >> >> >>Dear Santa, >>I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE >> >>could I have one? >>Timmy >> >>Timmy, >>That whiney begging sh-- may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't >>work with me. You're getting an ugly sweater again. >>Santa >> >> >> >>Dearest Santa, >>We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home? >>Love, >>Marky >> >>Mark, >>First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're get! ting your ass >>kicked at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a >>low-rent, ghetto apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like >>all the burglars do, through your bedroom window. >>Sweet Dreams, >>Santa
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