CosmicBills Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 I know we have some political junkies here. I have a really stupid question (well a couple of them) that I can't seem to find concrete answers on from Googlebot. I'd appreciate any insight (or jokes at my expense) people can offer. 1. How does someone become an Ambassador in the United Nations? Do the nations pick their own reps and then the General Assembly has to approve them? Or does the General Assembly handle the entire process? 2. Do Ambassadors at the UN employ staffers at all? Besides legislative assistants or executive assistants ... do they have deputies or chiefs of staff or anything like that? 3. Is there an oversight committee or budgetary arm that would review the necessity of certain departments? Thanks in advance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
/dev/null Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 1 - Up to the individual member nations 2 - Dude, the UN is a political/governmental type organization. Of course there are staffers, assistants, deputies, etc. All about hooking up your cronies with a cushy do nothing job and that diplomatic immunity is a nice perk 3 - Think like a political/governmental type. Oversight is for show. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ieatcrayonz Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 I know we have some political junkies here. I have a really stupid question (well a couple of them) that I can't seem to find concrete answers on from Googlebot. I'd appreciate any insight (or jokes at my expense) people can offer. 1. How does someone become an Ambassador in the United Nations? Do the nations pick their own reps and then the General Assembly has to approve them? Or does the General Assembly handle the entire process? 2. Do Ambassadors at the UN employ staffers at all? Besides legislative assistants or executive assistants ... do they have deputies or chiefs of staff or anything like that? 3. Is there an oversight committee or budgetary arm that would review the necessity of certain departments? Thanks in advance. 1. You must be connected to the leader of your country and be able to maintain a straight face at all times. For example: "The Libyan ambassador to the UN then called Gadaffi to notify him that Libya had been selected as the lead nation on the UN council on human rights." Did it say he was laughing? No. Straight face. 2. Didn't you see Lethal Weapon part 2? There are tons of staffers. Some are hot little blond chicks that end up sleeping with Mel Gibson but most drive around with krugerands in their trunk and shoot up LA. Unfortunately for movie goers, they continually miss both Gibson and Danny Glover resulting in about 46 more Lethal weapon sequels. 3. If a department/division has not accepted enough bribes per annum on a rolling quarterly basis it is put on probation. 3 consecutive rolling quarters under bribe quota and the division/department is banished. This was also covered in LW2 when they spread the plastic on the rug in that guy's office. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CosmicBills Posted October 4, 2011 Author Share Posted October 4, 2011 I love you both so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SageAgainstTheMachine Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 In response to the post's title, I know stuff. Just nothing about this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Tom Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I know we have some political junkies here. I have a really stupid question (well a couple of them) that I can't seem to find concrete answers on from Googlebot. I'd appreciate any insight (or jokes at my expense) people can offer. 1. How does someone become an Ambassador in the United Nations? Do the nations pick their own reps and then the General Assembly has to approve them? Or does the General Assembly handle the entire process? To add to /dev/null's post: No approval necessary. 3. Is there an oversight committee or budgetary arm that would review the necessity of certain departments? This is the same organization that managed to miss massive fraud in their own Iraqi oil-for-food program. Oversight? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CosmicBills Posted October 4, 2011 Author Share Posted October 4, 2011 To add to /dev/null's post: No approval necessary. This is the same organization that managed to miss massive fraud in their own Iraqi oil-for-food program. Oversight? Ha! See, this is the stuff I need. I need stuff to lampoon a bit -- preferably stuff on the bureaucratic side. I know you got lots, Tom, lemme have 'em! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Jack Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 Ha! See, this is the stuff I need. I need stuff to lampoon a bit -- preferably stuff on the bureaucratic side. I know you got lots, Tom, lemme have 'em! So the movie is going to be a comedy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Tom Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 Ha! See, this is the stuff I need. I need stuff to lampoon a bit -- preferably stuff on the bureaucratic side. I know you got lots, Tom, lemme have 'em! Lampooning the UN? These are the guys that appointed Libya to head the Human Rights Commission. Lampooning them is redundant. Although my favorite UN moment in recent memory was after Bush gave a speech in front of the General Assembly, immediately followed by a Hugo Chavez speech. Chavez takes the podium, sniffs the air, and comments "Smells like sulfur." I don't care what you think of Chavez' politics...the man knows his comedy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CosmicBills Posted October 4, 2011 Author Share Posted October 4, 2011 (edited) So the movie is going to be a comedy? Supposed to be ... but trying to keep it grounded and not broad. Which means I actually have to know what I'm talking about. In this case, I don't. So I'm trying to fake it till I make it. Some would call it laziness. I would call it ... well, laziness but with a purpose! Lampooning the UN? These are the guys that appointed Libya to head the Human Rights Commission. Lampooning them is redundant. Although my favorite UN moment in recent memory was after Bush gave a speech in front of the General Assembly, immediately followed by a Hugo Chavez speech. Chavez takes the podium, sniffs the air, and comments "Smells like sulfur." I don't care what you think of Chavez' politics...the man knows his comedy. That is brilliant! Edited October 4, 2011 by tgreg99 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alaska Darin Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I don't think it's brilliant, especially since Chavez is just as much an oil guy. If he'd said something like "Smells like Cheney's ass..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Tom Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I don't think it's brilliant, especially since Chavez is just as much an oil guy. If he'd said something like "Smells like Cheney's ass..." It was an allusion to Bush being the Devil. Not oil. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GG Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 They owe millions in NYC parking fines and mess up traffic around the Bills bar on game day Sundays. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magox Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 1) Bundle money for elections? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
/dev/null Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 They owe millions in NYC parking fines and mess up traffic around the Bills bar on game day Sundays. All those parking tickets were racked up while enjoying the many benefits of America and living in New York, before going back to the UN and denouncing America Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CosmicBills Posted October 4, 2011 Author Share Posted October 4, 2011 This is all great stuff ... without boring you all with the details of this, I have a few more hypothetical questions. Though, I'm nervous having had this topic moved to the shark infested waters of the PPP board. Lord knows I try to stay away from this section of TSW. Mainly because I'm a pansy. Despite all that, I greatly appreciate your help and insight! 1. In your opinion what qualities make for a good Ambassador? What qualities make for a poor Ambassador? (I know this is vague). Examples of real life ambassadors in either category would be lovely as well so I can do more digging. 2. If a new nation were suddenly to be discovered (hypothetical), let's say the Lost City of Atlantis suddenly emerged from the ocean floor in the middle of the Atlantic or something crazy like that. They're advanced enough to be considered an instant super power so the world has to take them seriously. What would the protocol/vetting process be for them to join the United Nations? 2a. How could this process go horribly, horribly wrong? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Booster4324 Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 This is all great stuff ... without boring you all with the details of this, I have a few more hypothetical questions. Though, I'm nervous having had this topic moved to the shark infested waters of the PPP board. Lord knows I try to stay away from this section of TSW. Mainly because I'm a pansy. Despite all that, I greatly appreciate your help and insight! 1. In your opinion what qualities make for a good Ambassador? What qualities make for a poor Ambassador? (I know this is vague). Examples of real life ambassadors in either category would be lovely as well so I can do more digging. 2. If a new nation were suddenly to be discovered (hypothetical), let's say the Lost City of Atlantis suddenly emerged from the ocean floor in the middle of the Atlantic or something crazy like that. They're advanced enough to be considered an instant super power so the world has to take them seriously. What would the protocol/vetting process be for them to join the United Nations? 2a. How could this process go horribly, horribly wrong? !@#$ you you blithering, idiotic, partisan hack. Just had to get that out of the way. Carry on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CosmicBills Posted October 4, 2011 Author Share Posted October 4, 2011 !@#$ you you blithering, idiotic, partisan hack. Just had to get that out of the way. Carry on. I'm very sensitive! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Tom Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 This is all great stuff ... without boring you all with the details of this, I have a few more hypothetical questions. Though, I'm nervous having had this topic moved to the shark infested waters of the PPP board. Lord knows I try to stay away from this section of TSW. Mainly because I'm a pansy. We're on PPP now? Well, then...you're an idiot. Despite all that, I greatly appreciate your help and insight! 1. In your opinion what qualities make for a good Ambassador? What qualities make for a poor Ambassador? (I know this is vague). Examples of real life ambassadors in either category would be lovely as well so I can do more digging. Probably the ability to talk for hours, yet say nothing. Really, it's hard to say. For starters, as an American, my UN Ambassador has a significantly different purpose and rationale than, say, Chad's (basically: as a small nation, Chad's UN ambassador gives them a political position on a roughly equal footing as the US, even if that rough equality doesn't extend outside the UN - so one might say that Chad's UN ambassador has significantly more importance and weight to Chad than ours has to us). Then there's the fact that so much international politics takes place outside the UN, which limits the utility of UN ambassadors outside the UN anyway. Really, the more I think about it, the more their purpose is to just show up and look pretty - or, to put it less cynically, to provide a nation a presence in the international community. Imagine, for example, the legitimacy the Palestinians would gain if they ceased to be just an ethnicity or movement and became a nationality with a recognized ambassador to the UN. 2. If a new nation were suddenly to be discovered (hypothetical), let's say the Lost City of Atlantis suddenly emerged from the ocean floor in the middle of the Atlantic or something crazy like that. They're advanced enough to be considered an instant super power so the world has to take them seriously. What would the protocol/vetting process be for them to join the United Nations? Not so hypothetical as you might think. The UN voted out the Republic of China, and voted in the People's Republic of China in 1971. Also reference the current Palestinian situation. Admittedly, the PRC wasn't a superpower at the time, nor is the PA...but both situations are a good start for research, as would be the treatment of the former SSRs and the Balkan states after the breakup of the USSR and Yugoslavia, respectively. As for how a new superpower would be treated...look at India now, and extrapolate. Not a perfect example (India's at best a regional power, but growing steadily), but really the best I've got. 2a. How could this process go horribly, horribly wrong? It's the UN. Never mind the unfathomable multitude of ways it can go wrong, I can't even fathom how it could go right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ieatcrayonz Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 (edited) This is all great stuff ... without boring you all with the details of this, I have a few more hypothetical questions. Though, I'm nervous having had this topic moved to the shark infested waters of the PPP board. Lord knows I try to stay away from this section of TSW. Mainly because I'm a pansy. Despite all that, I greatly appreciate your help and insight! 1. In your opinion what qualities make for a good Ambassador? What qualities make for a poor Ambassador? (I know this is vague). Examples of real life ambassadors in either category would be lovely as well so I can do more digging. 2. If a new nation were suddenly to be discovered (hypothetical), let's say the Lost City of Atlantis suddenly emerged from the ocean floor in the middle of the Atlantic or something crazy like that. They're advanced enough to be considered an instant super power so the world has to take them seriously. What would the protocol/vetting process be for them to join the United Nations? 2a. How could this process go horribly, horribly wrong? 1. Good qualities: Black dude with one of those African hats with a lot of green and black in it. Must have an accent but be somewhat understandable. Can be kind caring type or ruthless killer. Can't be both. Killer type has to have an evil look in his eye at ALL times. No nuance. Kind/caring type needs to be befriended by some American chick in trouble after having stumbled on a conspiracy. Woman can't be totally smart or dumb. Has to be in between and confused. Think along the lines of Ellen Page, not Rachel Weisz or her twin sister or Megan Fox. And yes I realize they are all super dumb in real life but their persona is what matters. Another good quality is a snooty white guy who owns expensive stuff and is 100% completely evil but also very very sneaky and able to weasel out of things. Make sure this dude never goes 10 minutes without saying the phrase "diplomatic immunity". Ever. He must also have some high ranking American politician in his hip pocket but it must look like a lower level American is the bad guy at first. Bad qualities: Kind caring black dude type is never supposed to make a mistake. He must be as wise as someone who has lived on the planet for 10,000 years. Snooty white guys must have at least 16 personal assistants but no more than 23. Anything outside those guidelines just won't work. None of the ambassadors should ever order their own food. 2. In real life or the show? In real life they get to join if they grease enough third world countries and hate Israel. In the show, as long as they don't have webbed feet and speak in clicking noises everything should be fine. Remember, although ambassadors and staff can be shown to be corrupt, the UN itself must be shown as the pinnacle of virtue. Mess that one up and be writing Wednesday night dinner theater in Akron. 2a. After formal admission the ambassadors grow webbed feet and start speaking in clicking noises. If they really get pissed off the clicking noises hurt the ears of all the regular ambassadors. The rest of the nations immediately regret granting irrevocable membership but they are hosed. The new ambassadors not only begin to dominate the discourse but eat all of the good food at the buffet by using their clicking noises to advance to the front of the line. P.S. I hope you realize that the webbed feet and clicking noises only apply to Atlantis. If the dudes rose up from underground they would revert to having eyes like slits and eating bugs. If they were just isolated from the rest of the world at random they could gradually learn to hit on the hottest chicks and steal all the good looking ones. No matter what though, at the end, all of the other nations of the world must come together as one to defend the planet. They must put aside their petty differences and become a cohesive team. They can either defeat or convert their foe. Edited October 4, 2011 by ieatcrayonz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts