3rdnlng Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 LOVE THIS !! DIVORCE AGREEMENT THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!! Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al: We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way. Here is a model separation agreement: Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes. We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them. We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood . You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security. We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill. We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find. You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem." I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World". We'll practice trickle down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag. Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years. Sincerely, John J. Wall Law Student and an American P. S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, & Jane Fonda with you. P. S. S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
erynthered Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 SHUT UP!! (pBills,lybob,daveinnorfolk,biddog,conner,Pete...etc) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dante Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 SHUT UP!! (pBills,lybob,daveinnorfolk,biddog,conner,Pete...etc) lol I love this line "You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them." Funny this gets posted today. Last night wife and me were talking about the Amazon thing. I was saying "why don't all the free enterprise(mostly southern) states just band together and kinda say f u. All your businesses belong to us! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fezmid Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 I made a similar comment to my wife a few months ago. I said, "We should just split the country in two." Her response? "That won't work because all of the 'rich' people will go to one side." I replied, "Exactly." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
....lybob Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 (edited) Didn't read the article but I'm all for this - and will trade last Presidential election Blue States FL,NM,NV,VA for ND,MT,ID- you get AK and we get HI- So basically we get the east coast up from PA, across the Canadian boarder and the West Coast and you get the rest- enjoy. Edited July 1, 2011 by ....lybob Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IDBillzFan Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 Didn't read the article but I'm all for this - and will trade last Presidential election Blue States FL,NM,NV,VA for ND,MT,ID- you get AK and we get HI- So basically we get the east coast up from PA, across the Canadian boarder and the West Coast and you get the rest- enjoy. I understand your point, and I would be willing to give up all of that because based on your progressive plans to redistribute wealth and tax the ever-loving snot out of the wealthy, within five years you'd need to start selling off states and we'd have the money buy them from you. In twenty years your world will consist of Downtown Philly, the Bronx, and the west part of Compton. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
....lybob Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 I understand your point, and I would be willing to give up all of that because based on your progressive plans to redistribute wealth and tax the ever-loving snot out of the wealthy, within five years you'd need to start selling off states and we'd have the money buy them from you. In twenty years your world will consist of Downtown Philly, the Bronx, and the west part of Compton. You understand my point? what point? a motion has been made to split the country across Right/Left ideology and I welcome it- Christian Fundamentalist, Corporatists, and Ayn Rand fanboy Libertarians, can cozy up with each other and have no progressives allowed orgies if that's what make you happy- you can teach that God created the world 6000 years ago in all your schools, outlaw homosexuality and get rid of the minimum wage, overtime regulations, discrimination regulations, safety regulations, pollution regulations, social security, and medicare, if that's what makes you happy. Again enjoy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dante Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 I understand your point, and I would be willing to give up all of that because based on your progressive plans to redistribute wealth and tax the ever-loving snot out of the wealthy, within five years you'd need to start selling off states and we'd have the money buy them from you. In twenty years your world will consist of Downtown Philly, the Bronx, and the west part of Compton. Wow I feel my heart warming already. The only problem with this idea is that we will have yet another 3rd world country on our border. Our biggest expense will be yet more illegals. Job will be even harder considering that they won't be quite as obvious. Oh well, in comparison to the liberal welfare state has to offer this is a relatively cheap and simpler problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dante Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 You understand my point? what point? a motion has been made to split the country across Right/Left ideology and I welcome it- Christian Fundamentalist, Corporatists, and Ayn Rand fanboy Libertarians, can cozy up with each other and have no progressives allowed orgies if that's what make you happy- you can teach that God created the world 6000 years ago in all your schools, outlaw homosexuality and get rid of the minimum wage, overtime regulations, discrimination regulations, safety regulations, pollution regulations, social security, and medicare, if that's what makes you happy. Again enjoy. Here you display your own tendency to stereotype. I am a atheist. I don't brag about it. I am a live and let live person. I have nothing against gays. I'm not looking to outlaw homosexuality or declare a state religion. At the same time I consider myself a stout conservative. I believe in tight borders, a strong military that is used judiciously. Totally free economic conditions for all. Including everyone from the evil corporations that you love to hate to the lowliest of laborers. I do not fit in your paragraph above but I will gladly live in Arkansas in freedom than Hawaii where half or more of my labor goes to support others who do not earn or contribute. One thing have correct is the Ayn Rand. 720 pages into "Atlas Shrugged" and still 500 pages away from being done.Damn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
....lybob Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 Here you display your own tendency to stereotype. I am a atheist. I don't brag about it. I am a live and let live person. I have nothing against gays. I'm not looking to outlaw homosexuality or declare a state religion. At the same time I consider myself a stout conservative. I believe in tight borders, a strong military that is used judiciously. Totally free economic conditions for all. Including everyone from the evil corporations that you love to hate to the lowliest of laborers. I do not fit in your paragraph above but I will gladly live in Arkansas in freedom than Hawaii where half or more of my labor goes to support others who do not earn or contribute. One thing have correct is the Ayn Rand. 720 pages into "Atlas Shrugged" and still 500 pages away from being done.Damn The right is composed of three main blocks - Christian fundamentalist, Business corportists and Ayn Rand loving Libertarians if you want to split into two or three different countries that's up to you- Jesus Land, Rand Land, and U.S. INC would probably all have interesting flags and national anthems. Again enjoy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dante Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 The right is composed of three main blocks - Christian fundamentalist, Business corportists and Ayn Rand loving Libertarians if you want to split into two or three different countries that's up to you- Jesus Land, Rand Land, and U.S. INC would probably all have interesting flags and national anthems. Again enjoy. I will. Here's how. Christian- Not a believer in the supernatural but I do recognize and respect the positive values that religion espouse. Corporate-Love the creation of products, tech, services that employ us. Rand Land- Love the personal freedom to be what I want. Not what some bureaucrat determines. If I want to be super rich(which I'm not) I can be if I'm smart enough. Motivated enough. Or I can be a bum(which I'm not). But its up to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IDBillzFan Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 You understand my point? what point? Welcome to the party. Most of the time, no one else gets your point, either. I thought what you were doing was saying "We'll take all the beautiful coastal areas and you can have North Dakota." In retrospect I was giving you too much credit in assuming you had the ability to make a cohesive point. ...you can teach that God created the world 6000 years ago in all your schools, outlaw homosexuality and get rid of the minimum wage, overtime regulations, discrimination regulations, safety regulations, pollution regulations, social security, and medicare, if that's what makes you happy. Again enjoy. Yes, the first thing conservatives will do is get rid of overtime regulations, discrimination regulation and safety regulations. Remind me to point out this stupidity the next time you try to explain to everyone how you are center right or center left. It's all or nothing for libs like yourself. When conservatives feel that excessive regulations are strangling businesses, liberals believe that means we want no regulations at all. When conservatives say they want smaller and less intrusive government, liberals believe that means we want no government at all. Mindless, idiotic, and one of the main reasons that "Shut up" video the other day was so spot on with people like yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
....lybob Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 (edited) but Dante buddy it ain't all about you, the Christian Fundamentalists want their say on what is taught in schools, on abortion, on homosexuality, and maybe adultery, fornication, pornography- maybe they want no work on Sundays and who knows what else. You think the corporate elite really want free markets? minimal laws and regulations? good !@#$ing luck with that boyo! you'll have all the privatized prisons how do you think they're going to increase their profits?- I don't think you have an understanding of what the structure of right is- basically the corporate elite using extreme Libertarians and Christian fundamentalists as a voting block. I will. Here's how. Christian- Not a believer in the supernatural but I do recognize and respect the positive values that religion espouse. Corporate-Love the creation of products, tech, services that employ us. Rand Land- Love the personal freedom to be what I want. Not what some bureaucrat determines. If I want to be super rich(which I'm not) I can be if I'm smart enough. Motivated enough. Or I can be a bum(which I'm not). But its up to me. Edited July 1, 2011 by ....lybob Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Tom Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 Yes, the first thing conservatives will do is get rid of overtime regulations, discrimination regulation and safety regulations. Remind me to point out this stupidity the next time you try to explain to everyone how you are center right or center left. It's all or nothing for libs like yourself. When conservatives feel that excessive regulations are strangling businesses, liberals believe that means we want no regulations at all. When conservatives say they want smaller and less intrusive government, liberals believe that means we want no government at all. Mindless, idiotic, and one of the main reasons that "Shut up" video the other day was so spot on with people like yourself. Second thing. First is kill grandma. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
....lybob Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 (edited) Welcome to the party. Most of the time, no one else gets your point, either. I thought what you were doing was saying "We'll take all the beautiful coastal areas and you can have North Dakota." In retrospect I was giving you too much credit in assuming you had the ability to make a cohesive point. Yes, the first thing conservatives will do is get rid of overtime regulations, discrimination regulation and safety regulations. Remind me to point out this stupidity the next time you try to explain to everyone how you are center right or center left. It's all or nothing for libs like yourself. When conservatives feel that excessive regulations are strangling businesses, liberals believe that means we want no regulations at all. When conservatives say they want smaller and less intrusive government, liberals believe that means we want no government at all. Mindless, idiotic, and one of the main reasons that "Shut up" video the other day was so spot on with people like yourself. Hey you want to split the country along right/lift lines then you have to take the whole right not just your part of the right- you get Rand Paul, Bob Barr, the Koch Brothers and John Hagee with that order no fries no substitutions. Edited July 1, 2011 by ....lybob Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
....lybob Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 Second thing. First is kill grandma. That's why it's great you have Alaska, plenty of ice flows to push them out to sea on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IDBillzFan Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 Hey you want to split the country along right/lift lines then you have to take the whole right not just your part of the right- you get Rand Paul, Bob Barr, the Koch Brothers and John Hagee with that order no fries no substitutions. I'd take the whole right over a sliver of your left. Just think: you get to keep George Soros, Keith Olbermann, Rosie O'Donnell, Alan Grayson, Joe Biden, and...oh, gee...let's not forget Hank Johnson. Though, in fairness, I should warn all you brilliant libs not to all stand on an island cuz, y'know, you wouldn't want it to tip over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Booster4324 Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 How about the far right can have all the slums? I have always heard them say they are self sufficient enough and smart enough that they should be able to overcome that. We can dump the far left in the middle of forests amid the nature they love and admire. Surely as in tune with the wilderness as they are, they shall be fine. The rest of America can try and sort it out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
....lybob Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 I'd take the whole right over a sliver of your left. Just think: you get to keep George Soros, Keith Olbermann, Rosie O'Donnell, Alan Grayson, Joe Biden, and...oh, gee...let's not forget Hank Johnson. Though, in fairness, I should warn all you brilliant libs not to all stand on an island cuz, y'know, you wouldn't want it to tip over. Again that's fine with me - you right-wingers are !@#$ing hard to agree with, you want to split the country and I agree and give you 75% of the land, and you're still busting balls. It's like when this guy from Texas I worked with would talk about how terrible America was becoming and how he wanted Texas to leave the Union- and I said that would be great- and he was offended. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nanker Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 Second thing. First is kill grandma. I'm workin' on it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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