Foxboro Mike Posted August 30, 2004 Posted August 30, 2004 The shadowy figure sitting in a darkened room lights a cigarette and leans back in his overstuffed chair, surrounded by his faithful minions: Pucillo, Vincent, Milloy. The body count around him is rising, but such carnage is at times necessary to stay atop the depth chart at QB in today's NFL. The Drewfather will not be crossed. The early signs were promising: A youthful, exuberant Fredo Brown, thrilled to follow at the side of the once powerful Drewfather, worshipped the ground the veteran walked on. Fredo even mimicked the veteran's turnover prone ways, the pat-pat-pat before he unleashed his cannon-like gun, and had perfected the angry chin-strap yank that threw fear into the heart of Drew's opponents everywhere. In the '03 season finale in Foxboro, Fredo had the gumption to produce more yardage in just one quarter of play than The Drewfather did in three quarters. It was written off to youthful exuberance, not insolence... yet The Drewfather never forgets slights of that nature; his tendency is to forget his hot-reads. The Drewfather is human. But Fredo didn't learn - having the audacity to lead the team to a pre-season score before his mentor sealed his fate. You don't cross The Drewfather twice... even if you are family. At practice on a oppressive August day, the foreshadowing came as The Drewfather kissed Fredo squarely on the lips. "You broke my heart, Fredo... you broke my heart," said a clearly disconsolate patriach. "B-but Drewfather... it's not your fault! It's never your fault," said a disconsolate Fredo. "I've never strayed from the party line! I'm just trying to make my own name, Drewfather." "You're dead to me," said a emotionless patriach. "If you're going to visit our offensive coordinator, I want to know a day in advance. You're my back-up, and I love you. But never take sides against the family, Fredo." It would be the last time The Drewfather and Fredo spoke before Fredo Brown's untimely demise. The Drewfather also made sure that the young lark, his new protege', T.H. Losman, would get a pre-emptive message. The Patriach's imported henchman from his long-time rival Miami gang, CB Troy Vincent, saw to it that the young buck would not take over the family before his time... a brazen attack with witnesses at an open Bills practice left T.H. lying in a pool of his own sweat and tears with a broken fibula, courtesy of The Drewfather's hit squad. The message was received loud and clear by the youngster, who got the patriarch's message just as it was intended. "It's not Drew's fault," said T.H. Losman. "It's never Drew's fault. We need time to gel as a unit." The blood of countless dozens are on The Drewfather's hands: Ray Perkins, Ernie Zampese, Pete Carroll, Bobby Grier, Larry Kennan, Scott Zolak, Kevin Gilbride, and Gregg Williams among others... but even as a new season dawns in Western New York, one thing chillingly remains the same... The Drewfather's reign of terror continues anew for Bills fans. God help you all.
MadBuffaloDisease Posted August 30, 2004 Posted August 30, 2004 Hey FM, there are medications now to treat what you have. However you might need a couple of them, since you not only are delusional, you're also obsessed. I'm just telling you because I care. Really.
Mark VI Posted August 30, 2004 Posted August 30, 2004 While reading this masterpiece, I'm picturing Stuart Scott on ESPN Sportcenter as the narrator. He'd love this. You forgot to say BOOYA !
Foxboro Mike Posted August 30, 2004 Author Posted August 30, 2004 While reading this masterpiece, I'm picturing Stuart Scott on ESPN Sportcenter as the narrator. He'd love this. You forgot to say BOOYA ! 11864[/snapback] Mark!!! That's below the belt!!!
LabattBlue Posted August 30, 2004 Posted August 30, 2004 You must have excelled in Creative Writing 101. Very funny stuff. Except for....maybe I'm having another blonde moment, but I'm confused by the "T.H. Losman" reference??
Foxboro Mike Posted August 30, 2004 Author Posted August 30, 2004 I was lost for a second character. "T.H." is paying homage to Robert Duvall's "Tom Hagen" character.
Foxboro Mike Posted August 30, 2004 Author Posted August 30, 2004 T.H. = Tom Hagen? 11909[/snapback] Bingo!
LabattBlue Posted August 30, 2004 Posted August 30, 2004 I was lost for a second character. "T.H." is paying homage to Robert Duvall's "Tom Hagen" character. 11907[/snapback] Thanks. Once again nice job. I may be committing TBD blasphemy, but this thread should be pinned!!
Gavin in Va Beach Posted August 30, 2004 Posted August 30, 2004 I was lost for a second character. "T.H." is paying homage to Robert Duvall's "Tom Hagen" character. 11907[/snapback] Should have made Losman Sonny. Losman/Sonny is the hothead and when he found out Carlo beat up Connie again he took off and got wacked at the tollbooth. Losman leaves the pocket too much and Vincent wacked him.
clayboy54 Posted August 30, 2004 Posted August 30, 2004 Excellent story. Tell us about the Durrand Roundtree - gangland connection. I'm sure the "hit" on Travis brown is somehow tied into this conspiracy. And, did Milloy forget to pay back his debt? I figure it was either a broken arm or a broken kneecap. How much was he into his bookie for, anyhow?
Foxboro Mike Posted August 30, 2004 Author Posted August 30, 2004 Should have made Losman Sonny. Losman/Sonny is the hothead and when he found out Carlo beat up Connie again he took off and got wacked at the tollbooth. Losman leaves the pocket too much and Vincent wacked him. 11913[/snapback] Dammit! I knew I should have looked it up. Good call.
MadBuffaloDisease Posted August 30, 2004 Posted August 30, 2004 Dammit! I knew I should have looked it up. Good call. 11933[/snapback] Read my sig. Like I said...
Thurman's Helmet Posted August 30, 2004 Posted August 30, 2004 Good stuff. Could have mixed in a "Khartoum" reference however.
Foxboro Mike Posted August 30, 2004 Author Posted August 30, 2004 Read my sig. Like I said... 11944[/snapback] You're wacky!!! You're edgy!!! You must be Drew's agent!!!
Hollywood Donahoe Posted August 30, 2004 Posted August 30, 2004 An instant classic. The only thing missing was a Donahoe reference.
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