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Posted

"but to me it seems like nine weeks and five days. The first day seemed like a week and the second day seemed like five days. And the third day seemed like a week again and the fourth day seemed like eight days. And the fifth day you went to see your mother and that seemed just like a day, and then you came back and later on the sixth day, in the evening, when we saw each other, that started seeming like two days, so in the evening it seemed like two days spilling over into the next day and that started seeming like four days, so at the end of the sixth day on into the seventh day, it seemed like a total of five days. And the sixth day seemed like a week and a half. I have it written down, but I can show it to you tomorrow if you want to see it. "

 

 

sorry, it's friday, and that cracks me up every time...

Posted
I was born a poor black child

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And that's it and that's the only thing I need, is this. I don't need this or this. Just this ashtray. And this paddle game, the ashtray and the paddle game and that's all I need. And this remote control. The ashtray, the paddle game, and the remote control, and that's all I need. And these matches. The ashtray, and these matches, and the remote control and the paddle game. And this lamp. The ashtray, this paddle game and the remote control and the lamp and that's all I need. And that's all I need too. I don't need one other thing, not one - I need this. The paddle game, and the chair, and the remote control, and the matches, for sure. And this. And that's all I need. The ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game, this magazine and the chair.

Posted

Classic:

 

Mother: Navin, it's your birthday, and it's time you knew. You're not our natural-born child.

Navin:I'm not? You mean I'm gonna STAY this color?

 

 

The good news is, I may have some extra money coming in soon as I've found some extra work. My friend Patty promised me a b**w job.

Posted

"Now be totally honest. You do have a boyfriend don't you?"

 

"Kind of."

 

"I know this is our first date but do you think the next time you make love to your boyfriend you could think of me?"

 

"Well I haven't made love to him yet."

 

"That's too bad. Do you think its possible that someday could make love with me and think of him."

 

"Who knows maybe you and he could make love and you could think of me."

 

"I'd be happy to be in there somewhere."

Posted

They had "Cannonball Run" and "Night Shift" in the bargain bin at Best Buy this week for $5.00. I've yet to see "The Jerk" but it'll be there soon enough.

 

Classics. Keaton was friggin' brilliant in "Night Shift".

 

"This is Bill. Idea to eliminate garbage: edible paper."

Posted
And that's it and that's the only thing I need, is this. I don't need this or this. Just this ashtray. And this paddle game, the ashtray and the paddle game and that's all I need. And this remote control. The ashtray, the paddle game, and the remote control, and that's all I need. And these matches. The ashtray, and these matches, and the remote control and the paddle game. And this lamp. The ashtray, this paddle game and the remote control and the lamp and that's all I need. And that's all I need too. I don't need one other thing, not one - I need this. The paddle game, and the chair, and the remote control, and the matches, for sure. And this. And that's all I need. The ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game, this magazine and the chair.

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"the new phone book is here! the new phone book is here!!!"

Posted
They had "Cannonball Run" and "Night Shift" in the bargain bin at Best Buy this week for $5.00.  I've yet to see "The Jerk" but it'll be there soon enough.

 

Classics.  Keaton was friggin' brilliant in "Night Shift".

 

"This is Bill. Idea to eliminate garbage: edible paper."

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LOVE BROKERS! :devil:

Posted
Live weight guessing.  Try your luck and win some crap.

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"For one dollar I'll guess your weight, your height, or your sex. "

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