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Posted

I think for this analogy to work, you have to imagine that the gardner is gay, since Toronto has somehow taken the Bills away :rolleyes: even though they apparently don't even want them.

 

In any case, this thread is a masterpiece of confusion.

If Scrappy hired a gay Canadian lawn mower to mow his now ex-wife's yard, wouldn't that make it more of a "Ball of Confusion?":

 

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Posted

If Scrappy hired a gay Canadian lawn mower to mow his now ex-wife's yard, wouldn't that make it more of a "Ball of Confusion?":

 

 

 

 

I think you should change your screen name to 'ICanSleepWithScrappy'sWifeWhenI'mDead' or maybe 'ICanSleepWithScrappy'sWifeWhenI'mDeadAndSheWon'tNoticeAnyDifference'.

Posted

I just read this thread from start to finish, and I haven't laughed so hard in awhile. Some of my coworkers are coming out of their offices and yelling down the hall asking what's so funny.

 

:lol:

Posted

So was his wife not good or not reliable? or Both?

 

 

 

Surely there's also a way to make a slogan out of this thread along the lines John Deere slogan of "Nothing runs like a Deere."

 

How about "No one starts threads that are crappy, like Scrappy". Oh yeah, and stop calling me Shirley.

Posted

She ended up deciding that she ended up liking her lawned mowed a differed way more.

 

You are refering to the actual lawn and not using a euphamism.

Posted

How tall was the grass before it got mowed?

 

 

one might also question how thick it was and whether it was infested with bugs. In the event of the latter it might be necessary to call in a specialist for treatment that the regular lawn guy can't handle on his own.

Posted

one might also question how thick it was and whether it was infested with bugs. In the event of the latter it might be necessary to call in a specialist for treatment that the regular lawn guy can't handle on his own.

 

 

Maybe he sprayed to much turf builder on it?

Posted

Maybe he sprayed to much turf builder on it?

 

That might explain the condition of the front lawn...

 

But the swampy, patchy, muddy, brown back lawn is another whole story.

Posted

That might explain the condition of the front lawn...

 

But the swampy, patchy, muddy, brown back lawn is another whole story.

 

 

My stuff is filled with nutriants, adding fertilizer to the back side should be with three major elements – nitrogen, potassium and phosphorus to your lawn, you can build a lush beautiful carpet of grass.

Posted

one might also question how thick it was and whether it was infested with bugs. In the event of the latter it might be necessary to call in a specialist for treatment that the regular lawn guy can't handle on his own.

 

Perhaps if he just had a really big Deck, his wife wouldn't have needed someone to take care of her lawn?

 

A big Deck can help cover up for the lack of knowledge about proper lawn treatment.

Posted

Perhaps if he just had a really big Deck, his wife wouldn't have needed someone to take care of her lawn?

 

A big Deck can help cover up for the lack of knowledge about proper lawn treatment.

 

 

Not that I would know anything about big Decks, But I would suppose they could be a real pain in the ass.

 

I mean, for up keep of course

Posted

Not that I would know anything about big Decks, But I would suppose they could be a real pain in the ass.

 

I mean, for up keep of course

Big deck, little deck...what's the difference anyway? You've seen one you've seen them all, right? :unsure: I've been told that my smallish deck is more than enough.

 

All you use them for is a place to cook your meat.

Posted

Big deck, little deck...what's the difference anyway? You've seen one you've seen them all, right? :unsure: I've been told that my smallish deck is more than enough.

 

All you use them for is a place to cook your meat.

 

Big decks are mostly just fun to show off to your friends, and make them jealous.

Posted

Big decks are mostly just fun to show off to your friends, and make them jealous.

 

 

What do you do if you find that your wife has been sitting on the neighbor's big deck ... especially if its not covered?

 

Personally, I've always wanted a wrap around deck...

Posted

What do you do if you find that your wife has been sitting on the neighbor's big deck ... especially if its not covered?

Only one thing to do, get out the power washer and bleach solution and spray that baby down.

Posted

Only one thing to do, get out the power washer and bleach solution and spray that baby down.

 

 

Well that seems rather harsh ... you could simply ask her if she enjoyed it. You might aslso see if she would be willing to have the neighbor's wife over to join both of you on your deck. One should keep an open mind about being nice to your neighbors.

Posted

Perhaps if he just had a really big Deck, his wife wouldn't have needed someone to take care of her lawn?

 

A big Deck can help cover up for the lack of knowledge about proper lawn treatment.

 

It's a trade-off. You don't have to pay the gardener, but you have to pay for Deck upkeep instead.

I recommend Ronseal. Yeah, OK, it's a UK product but Canada used to be part of the British Empire so the Canadian gardener won't get too upset.

 

From http://www.ronseal.co.uk/faqs/ (in answer to the question - - Why do I need to protect my deck?):

 

"Decking looks great when it's first laid but it does need protecting from the elements. UV rays grey the wood over time and water can cause it to swell, crack and split. Protecting your deck with a coating such as a stain, oil or protector revives the colour and keeps it looking like new."

Posted

I hold it true what'er befall,

I feel it when I sorrow most

Tis better to have loved and lost

Than never to have loved at all.

 

But then I have to qualify

My position on this, pardner

I don't mind loving, don't mind losing

But PLEASE...not to the gardner!

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