raleighbillsfan78 Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 After reading these ad nauseum... I think he is dead on with the Bills analysis... http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/blogs/taibblog/2011-nfl-mock-draft-20110427
Heitz Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 Dead classic! Loved the Pats at pick 17: "In the ten minutes it takes to make this selection, Bill Belichick will trade out of this pick, use the extra selections from that transaction to move around the board several times, then trade back into the 17th selection, somehow gaining two 2012 second-rounders and a conditional 2017 seventh in the process. The wives of all six of his trading partners will subsequently report “feeling something, like maybe an arm” reach up their skirts in investigative fashion during this ten-minute sequence."
billsfaninvgs Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 Dead classic! Loved the Pats at pick 17: "In the ten minutes it takes to make this selection, Bill Belichick will trade out of this pick, use the extra selections from that transaction to move around the board several times, then trade back into the 17th selection, somehow gaining two 2012 second-rounders and a conditional 2017 seventh in the process. The wives of all six of his trading partners will subsequently report “feeling something, like maybe an arm” reach up their skirts in investigative fashion during this ten-minute sequence." I can't stop laughing!!!!!!
Koufax Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 Best line: I always get nervous when the experts say a cornerback is “the total package, except for his one-on-one coverage ability.” What does that mean?
The Wiz Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 Best line: I always get nervous when the experts say a cornerback is “the total package, except for his one-on-one coverage ability.” What does that mean? He's good at running around when the ball is thrown???
Captain Hindsight Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 (edited) Dead classic! Loved the Pats at pick 17: "In the ten minutes it takes to make this selection, Bill Belichick will trade out of this pick, use the extra selections from that transaction to move around the board several times, then trade back into the 17th selection, somehow gaining two 2012 second-rounders and a conditional 2017 seventh in the process. The wives of all six of his trading partners will subsequently report “feeling something, like maybe an arm” reach up their skirts in investigative fashion during this ten-minute sequence." haha i was just about to post that this is a good one too 23. Philadelphia – JIMMY SMITH, CB, Colorado Little-known fact: Andy Reid’s waistline grows .09 millimeters with every draft pick he makes. At the 2023 draft, after a ten-selection rookie class, his stomach will open and a dozen baby rhinoceroses will jump out. Edited April 27, 2011 by Captain Hindsight
raleighbillsfan78 Posted April 28, 2011 Author Posted April 28, 2011 Angel on right shoulder whispers: Matt, talk about how Cam Heyward, son of the legendary Craig “Ironhead” Heyward, is a perfect fit in the Jets’ 3-4, and a natural replacement for aging warrior Shaun Ellis! Devil on left shoulder whispers: Matt, write that Michelle Ryan had Heyward’s feet in for a personal workout and gave husband Rex the thumbs-up with all ten toes in her mouth. Describe ESPN zooming in on Heyward’s glistening toe-hair, and Michelle’s satiated, glazed-over eyes, as Rex, off-camera, comments, “We think Cam can help us a lot on first and second down…”
BuffaloRebound Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 Didn't realize Taibbi knew football that well. Absolutely hilarious. Best part was comment about the crappy teams wasting picks on medical/character risks and 3rd round QB's and then the good teams picking at the bottom of the first getting all the solid guys who will play for 10 years. So true.
Steve O Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 Best line: I always get nervous when the experts say a cornerback is “the total package, except for his one-on-one coverage ability.” What does that mean? means he isn't the total package
KD in CA Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 Best part was comment about the crappy teams wasting picks on medical/character risks and 3rd round QB's and then the good teams picking at the bottom of the first getting all the solid guys who will play for 10 years. So true. Yup. I also liked, "But you’ll avoid a lot more dogs if you stick to picking healthy, productive, non-!@#$s who try hard."
Thoner7 Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 Best line: I always get nervous when the experts say a cornerback is “the total package, except for his one-on-one coverage ability.” What does that mean? that was my favorite as well, aminly because I have been asking myself that same question.
Buftex Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 (edited) Taibbi is awesome! "I get that the Missouri quarterback physically grades out just like a string of other first-round passers who’ve succeeded in recent years, but I can’t get past his name, which sounds to me like "FLABBY GERBIL FART.” Edited April 28, 2011 by Buftex
San Jose Bills Fan Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 This one's pretty good too: 26. Baltimore – AARON WILLIAMS, S, Texas Pick 26: we catch an exhausted Mike Mayock checking his watch for the first time before looking up and glaring homicidally at the inexplicably still-cheery Steve Mariucci. Mooch asks: Mike, whaddya think, is Aaron Williams the best pure safety in this draft? I think Aaron Williams is the best pure safety in the draft! Mayock says nothing, imagines rivers of blood… 28. New England – HANK PUDSNIFFER, G, Northwestern Iowa School of Mines Belichick rattles off at least one “What the !@#$?” pick in every draft, where he spends a first or second-round choice on a guy who isn’t even in the CBS list of 1000 draft prospects; all you can find is one grainy YouTube video of the guy performing in an arm-wrestling contest on Croatian television. Note: I actually think the Pats end up with Mark Ingram somehow, but there’s a WTF pick in there somewhere, guaranteed.
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