Brand J Posted December 14, 2004 Posted December 14, 2004 Funny Stuff... How About a Computer Voice That Says, "Dis Is Bruno. Waddya Want?" Yours truly love to ride Amtrak but hates "Julie," the computerized voice on the Amtrak 800 number. "Julie" seems to exist exclusively to prevent callers from talking to a real agent. Once I tried to ask "Julie" out, and she replied, "I'm sorry, I didn't understand your question." Well, I got that a lot when I was dating. Julie's voice has about as much personality as Amtrak's trains. Now we learn "Julie" is a real person -– you'd never guess it from the authentic way she imitates a soulless machine -– named Julie Stinneford, profiled in this article . Stinneford is "a professional voice talent," the article reports; Amtrak claims 90 percent of callers like Julie, which I find about as credible as the railroad's latest budget request. Everyone yours truly knows who rides Amtrak HATES Julie and tries desperately to get past her to speak to a real person. Why, exactly, did Amtrak hire a person to imitate a computer? And remember, Amtrak used your tax money to hire a person to pretend to be a computer. Tuesday Morning Quarterback suggests having fun with Julie by calling the Amtrak number, 800-USA-RAIL, and trying to confuse her. I did, and part of the conversation sounded like this: JULIE. How many people will be traveling? ME. It's a big country. How should I know how many people will be traveling? JULIE. That sounded like you said, "One adult." ME. I was being evasive. But I refuse to tell you why I was being evasive. JULIE. My mistake. How many people will be traveling, and please be sure to say if there will be children or senior citizens. ME. Of course there will be children. Children are our hope for the future. JULIE. That sounded like you said, "Eight children." ME. Do you have children, Julie? I'm starting to worry that machines will have children. JULIE. You need to say what kind of adults will be traveling. ME. The dashing, irresistible kind. It's me, after all. I'm sort of a 1940s-movie handsome-stranger-on-a-train kind of guy. JULIE. I'm having trouble understanding you. Tuesday Morning Quarterback
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