ieatcrayonz Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 That's right, nothing but hydrogen. For one year. Wish me luck. Here's the schpiel that I already posted on a macebook note..... Hello dudes, employees, acquaintances,strangers, and Ennifer I'd also shout out to the Canadians and old people for whom I have as much or more respect than anyone but neither group can work a computer. I have some bizarre news. Starting at the beginning of 2011 on January 1, I will be embarking on a year-long journey, during which I will be breathing nothing but hydrogen. That's right...365 days of nothing but hydrogen. No nitrogen, no oxygen, not even any specialized isotopes, nothing but plain hydrogen (I am not a wuss so I will not take any daily supplement which contain things other than hydrogen). Beginning tomorrow morning, I plan to breathe nothing else until January 1, 2012. Originally, I planned on starting earlier than January 1, but for the sake of organization, why not bow to the Gregorian calendar as we always do? So what's prompting this? Well, it began when I interviewed code name Parah Salin in her quest to become one of Beerboy's clients. She yammered on and on about the fresh air in her home town and how only the smaller atoms could float that high on the globe. Although I'm not sure of her science street cred, I have to admit she had an unusually upbeat attitude. Sometimes I can be a bit cynical so this gave me the idea. On a side note, I had to turn her down as a client for Beerboy; at least for now. I felt code name Parah Salin needed to get some warm weather and fun in the sun before she really could know if she'd commit to the program. I got an idea to send her on a parasailing trip. I'm not sure why but it just popped into my head. So I thought to myself..."What if I only breathed hydrogen like code name Parah Salin?". As for why I plan on doing this, the reasons are four... 1. I believe in testing the limits of our human experience. Now, this isn't to suggest I can't use technology that you can't comprehend so I won't bother describing it to save me if this causes some sort of trouble, but testing limits is testing limits. 2. I want to develop a deeper appreciation for the simple joys in life. I have so much damn money that simple stuff like Tahitian vacations are underappreciated. That place is ok but sometimes I find it beneath me. I would like to get back in tune. 3. We, as a society, have lost complete touch with the notion that the primary motivation for breathing ought to be atom sorting. By limiting myself to one element, I hope to personally reattain this notion or at least pretend. And I relaize that Pete thinks I'm lucky for being born on a planet with hydrogen in the first place. 4. I believe that one ought to do something absurd like this at least once in one's life, and embrace one's eccentricities instead of shunning them. I don't know what that means but I'm sure it is just a repeat of what some Cornell hippy professor said so I left it in. BONUS #5! 5. I'll once again display to Sage how much more he has to learn. So why a year? Why not a week, 2 weeks, a month? Well, I think a year is a happy medium. I don't think that I intend for this to be a permanent change, but I also want to allow myself a long enough time-frame in order for this to become an inherent part of my life, and not just something inside the context of an experiment. A year should be long enough for that. Heck, it's hydrogen. What can it hurt. It isn't like I'm inhaling pot and getting hooked and becoming a blithering idiot. Of course, there are many questions, concerns and doubts. What sorts of health risks do I pose here, being somebody not used to this type of diet? How will this affect me socially? What will the boredom do to me as I first grow accustomed to it? How bad will the cravings become? Well, stay tuned, I suppose... Actually I just took the above paragraph from Sage. I never worry about any of that crap. It makes me wonder if Sage is the one in that Geico commercial about the therapist. Tomorrow, I begin with the hydrogen. I fully expect the little atoms to simultaneously become my greatest friends and most bitter enemies. To those of you understandably wondering...get a life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sullim4 Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 Your posts always bring a smile to my face . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cugalabanza Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 I think your biggest obstacle is going to be hydrogen psychosis, aka, "crazy eye." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SageAgainstTheMachine Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 That's right, nothing but hydrogen. For one year. Wish me luck. Here's the schpiel that I already posted on a macebook note..... Hello dudes, employees, acquaintances,strangers, and Ennifer I'd also shout out to the Canadians and old people for whom I have as much or more respect than anyone but neither group can work a computer. I have some bizarre news. Starting at the beginning of 2011 on January 1, I will be embarking on a year-long journey, during which I will be breathing nothing but hydrogen. That's right...365 days of nothing but hydrogen. No nitrogen, no oxygen, not even any specialized isotopes, nothing but plain hydrogen (I am not a wuss so I will not take any daily supplement which contain things other than hydrogen). Beginning tomorrow morning, I plan to breathe nothing else until January 1, 2012. Originally, I planned on starting earlier than January 1, but for the sake of organization, why not bow to the Gregorian calendar as we always do? So what's prompting this? Well, it began when I interviewed code name Parah Salin in her quest to become one of Beerboy's clients. She yammered on and on about the fresh air in her home town and how only the smaller atoms could float that high on the globe. Although I'm not sure of her science street cred, I have to admit she had an unusually upbeat attitude. Sometimes I can be a bit cynical so this gave me the idea. On a side note, I had to turn her down as a client for Beerboy; at least for now. I felt code name Parah Salin needed to get some warm weather and fun in the sun before she really could know if she'd commit to the program. I got an idea to send her on a parasailing trip. I'm not sure why but it just popped into my head. So I thought to myself..."What if I only breathed hydrogen like code name Parah Salin?". As for why I plan on doing this, the reasons are four... 1. I believe in testing the limits of our human experience. Now, this isn't to suggest I can't use technology that you can't comprehend so I won't bother describing it to save me if this causes some sort of trouble, but testing limits is testing limits. 2. I want to develop a deeper appreciation for the simple joys in life. I have so much damn money that simple stuff like Tahitian vacations are underappreciated. That place is ok but sometimes I find it beneath me. I would like to get back in tune. 3. We, as a society, have lost complete touch with the notion that the primary motivation for breathing ought to be atom sorting. By limiting myself to one element, I hope to personally reattain this notion or at least pretend. And I relaize that Pete thinks I'm lucky for being born on a planet with hydrogen in the first place. 4. I believe that one ought to do something absurd like this at least once in one's life, and embrace one's eccentricities instead of shunning them. I don't know what that means but I'm sure it is just a repeat of what some Cornell hippy professor said so I left it in. BONUS #5! 5. I'll once again display to Sage how much more he has to learn. So why a year? Why not a week, 2 weeks, a month? Well, I think a year is a happy medium. I don't think that I intend for this to be a permanent change, but I also want to allow myself a long enough time-frame in order for this to become an inherent part of my life, and not just something inside the context of an experiment. A year should be long enough for that. Heck, it's hydrogen. What can it hurt. It isn't like I'm inhaling pot and getting hooked and becoming a blithering idiot. Of course, there are many questions, concerns and doubts. What sorts of health risks do I pose here, being somebody not used to this type of diet? How will this affect me socially? What will the boredom do to me as I first grow accustomed to it? How bad will the cravings become? Well, stay tuned, I suppose... Actually I just took the above paragraph from Sage. I never worry about any of that crap. It makes me wonder if Sage is the one in that Geico commercial about the therapist. Tomorrow, I begin with the hydrogen. I fully expect the little atoms to simultaneously become my greatest friends and most bitter enemies. To those of you understandably wondering...get a life. Wow, crayonz, this is very very bold. I wish you nothing but luck in your quest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuffaloBill Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 Will you still be eating crayonz? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Senator Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 (edited) If you were to spend any time near Sage and his lentil-farts, you'd be breathing nothing but nitrogen in 2011... Composition of flatus Nitrogen, the main constituent of air, is the primary gas released during flatulence, along with carbon dioxide, which is present in higher quantities in those who drink carbonated beverages regularly. The lesser component gases methane and hydrogen are flammable, and so flatus containing adequate amounts of these, can be ignited. However, not all humans produce flatus that contains methane. For example, in one study of the feces of nine adults, only five of the samples contained archaea capable of producing methane. Similar results are found in samples of gas obtained from within the rectum. The gas released during a flatus event frequently has an unpleasant odor. For many years, this was thought to be due to skatole and indole, which are byproducts of the digestion of meat. However, gas chromatography testing in 1984 revealed that sulfur-containing compounds, such as methanethiol, hydrogen sulfide (rotten egg smell) and dimethyl sulfide, were also responsible for the smell. The incidence of odoriferous compounds in flatulence emissions increases from herbivores, such as cattle, through omnivores to carnivorous species, such as cats. Such odor can also be caused by the presence of large numbers of microflora bacteria and/or the presence of feces in the rectum. The major components of the flatus, which are odorless, by percentage are: * Nitrogen: 20–90% * Hydrogen: 0–50% * Carbon dioxide: 10–30% * Oxygen: 0–10% * Methane: 0–10% (from Wiki) . Edited December 22, 2010 by The Senator Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SageAgainstTheMachine Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 Quick question, crayonz. How will this decision regarding inhalations affect your exhalation plans? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuffaloBill Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 If you were to spend any time near Sage and his lentil-farts, you'd be breathing nothing but nitrogen in 2011... Composition of flatus The gas released during a flatus event frequently has an unpleasant odor. For many years, this was thought to be due to skatole and indole, which are byproducts of the digestion of meat. However, gas chromatography testing in 1984 revealed that sulfur-containing compounds, such as methanethiol, hydrogen sulfide (rotten egg smell) and dimethyl sulfide, were also responsible for the smell. The incidence of odoriferous compounds in flatulence emissions increases from herbivores, such as cattle, through omnivores to carnivorous species, such as cats. Such odor can also be caused by the presence of large numbers of microflora bacteria and/or the presence of feces in the rectum. (from Wiki)[/i] . My farts never stink Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ieatcrayonz Posted December 22, 2010 Author Share Posted December 22, 2010 Quick question, crayonz. How will this decision regarding inhalations affect your exhalation plans? Breathing includes both inhalation and exhalation Mr. Ivy league. I'll let my lungs do whatever. I am not a micro manager. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miyagi-Do Karate Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 I'll give you 2 weeks max. After that, you're going to really be craving the sweet taste of oxygen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ieatcrayonz Posted December 22, 2010 Author Share Posted December 22, 2010 (edited) If you were to spend any time near Sage and his lentil-farts, you'd be breathing nothing but nitrogen in 2011... Composition of flatus Nitrogen, the main constituent of air, is the primary gas released during flatulence, along with carbon dioxide, which is present in higher quantities in those who drink carbonated beverages regularly. The lesser component gases methane and hydrogen are flammable, and so flatus containing adequate amounts of these, can be ignited. However, not all humans produce flatus that contains methane. For example, in one study of the feces of nine adults, only five of the samples contained archaea capable of producing methane. Similar results are found in samples of gas obtained from within the rectum. The gas released during a flatus event frequently has an unpleasant odor. For many years, this was thought to be due to skatole and indole, which are byproducts of the digestion of meat. However, gas chromatography testing in 1984 revealed that sulfur-containing compounds, such as methanethiol, hydrogen sulfide (rotten egg smell) and dimethyl sulfide, were also responsible for the smell. The incidence of odoriferous compounds in flatulence emissions increases from herbivores, such as cattle, through omnivores to carnivorous species, such as cats. Such odor can also be caused by the presence of large numbers of microflora bacteria and/or the presence of feces in the rectum. The major components of the flatus, which are odorless, by percentage are: * Nitrogen: 20–90% * Hydrogen: 0–50% * Carbon dioxide: 10–30% * Oxygen: 0–10% * Methane: 0–10% (from Wiki) . Can you elaborate on why someone's fart would smell like pumpkin seeds even if they never ate a pumpkin seed? This is for a friend. Edited December 22, 2010 by ieatcrayonz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cugalabanza Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 Can you elaborate on why someone's fart would smell like pumpkin seeds even if they never ate a pumpkin seed? This is for a friend. The distinct odor of pumpkin seeds comes from an extremely rare chemical compound called pepitas lutenae manganate. The only other natural source of this compound is the Jamaican Mountain Lily, which is used locally in conjunction with great quantities of marijuana as a powerful aphrodisiac and treatment for erectile dysfunction. We can conclude that your friend, despite being a flaccid pothead sexual deviant, is otherwise in good health. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Senator Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 (edited) Can you elaborate on why someone's fart would smell like pumpkin seeds even if they never ate a pumpkin seed? This is for a friend. I wish I could be of more help to your friend but, unfortunately, I do not no the answer - nor was I aware that pumpkin seeds had any distinct smell. I suspect - and this is only pure speculation - that it has at least something to do with the putrification of certain types of carbohydrates that cannot be digested by humans but are attacked by gas-producing colonic bacteria - most of which is absorbed though the intestinal mucosa, the rest being expelled through the anus. I would also caution that your friend does not follow through with non-gaseous matter - an act commonly known as “sharting”. . Edited December 22, 2010 by The Senator Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bbb Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 In a related matter, I will be masturbating to nothing but videos of Rex Ryan's wife's feet in 2011. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pine Barrens Mafia Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 crayonz FTW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ajzepp Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 (edited) Breathing includes both inhalation and exhalation Mr. Ivy league. I'll let my lungs do whatever. I am not a micro manager. BTW, just in case anyone ever needs to be steeped in Nitrogen for a year, I hear Lana is looking for a roomate. Edited December 22, 2010 by ajzepp Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pebblez Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 BTW, just in case anyone ever needs to be steeped in Nitrogen for a year, I hear Lana is looking for a roomate. Had a bit of a fall out with her, eh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Caveman Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 Don't forget to soak the buns in water. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ajzepp Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 Had a bit of a fall out with her, eh? lol, nah, she's my good friend...just enjoy giving her a hard time about her gas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Assquatch Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 Why not a week, 2 weeks, a month? Well, I think a year is a happy medium. This was my favorite part. Well done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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