frogger Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 One of the most wonderful things about the stadium wall is know one knows who you are, unless you let them. I have posted very personal information here several times. I am in my early 30s and for the first time ever I am dating a single mom, I am sure there are other here that have done the same and maybe even Married one. I come to you for advise, or rather words of wisdom in regards to this Some notes, first I do not have children, I've been married, I was married for 6 years. I am not sure if I can even have children, I am not proud of this but I have had unprotected sex with several women,(5 have had children with other guys) and yet no children, so while I feel lucky I must admit I am a little worried. The child is 2 After she got pregnant, the father decided to come out of the closet, he is still involved, and I could make a joke about having two moms, but I won't. She is 5'10" and gorgeous, not that it matters but she is a jags fan, and she knows her stuff...another reason she's cool, but her son needs good advise in regards to this. Any advise on what to look forward to or what not to do would be great.
Just Jack Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 The child comes first. Don't ever make her choose between you and them because you will lose.
Wayne Fontes Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 Her priority is to foster the successful development of her little dna packet. Be wary if she offers all three inputs at this early juncture, lest you become a mere resource to that end.
ieatcrayonz Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 One of the most wonderful things about the stadium wall is know one knows who you are, unless you let them. I have posted very personal information here several times. I am in my early 30s and for the first time ever I am dating a single mom, I am sure there are other here that have done the same and maybe even Married one. I come to you for advise, or rather words of wisdom in regards to this Some notes, first I do not have children, I've been married, I was married for 6 years. I am not sure if I can even have children, I am not proud of this but I have had unprotected sex with several women,(5 have had children with other guys) and yet no children, so while I feel lucky I must admit I am a little worried. The child is 2 After she got pregnant, the father decided to come out of the closet, he is still involved, and I could make a joke about having two moms, but I won't. She is 5'10" and gorgeous, not that it matters but she is a jags fan, and she knows her stuff...another reason she's cool, but her son needs good advise in regards to this. Any advise on what to look forward to or what not to do would be great. A 5 foot 10 2 year old kid? I don't have kids either but there are many on the board that do. I wonder if they could answer better but I don't think being 5 foot 10 at 2 is normal.
frogger Posted December 16, 2010 Author Posted December 16, 2010 Thanks and if her child was 5'10" that would be worth worrying about.
Rob's House Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 The child comes first. Don't ever make her choose between you and them because you will lose. As well he should. One thing to be conscious of is that if you become a regular fixture in the household you become dad whether you pull a Charles Barkley or not, and as Dan Hedaya said, you divorce spouses not children. Playing daddy and then dipping out can cause irreparable emotional damage, so I would proceed with caution.
Ramius Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 (edited) You know she puts out. Seriously tho, i've never really "dated" a single mom in the formal sense, but remember that if it gets serious, you're in a relationship with 2 people. And no matter what, the kid always comes before you. If she knows that you feel this way, you're off to a good start. Edited December 16, 2010 by Ramius
KD in CA Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 I dated a few single moms - they were always great in bed. Other than the obvious (she has a huge responsibility/can't just run off for the weekend at the drop of a hat/kid is her first priority/etc.), the fact that the child is only 2 years old works in your favor because at that age, they aren't going to hate you for 'trying to replace' their father or whatever backlash you are going to get if you date a woman with a ten year old. There is plenty of time for you to work yourself into the family dynamic is it turns into a LT relationship.
UConn James Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 I have a few close relatives, including a brother, who've dated/married a woman with a kid/kids, including one who was ~ 3 at the time and is now 9. Set down one ground rule early. Bear in mind that the scope of this broadens as your relationship with the mother deepens.... In matters of reasonable parental discipline, if she ever comes out with a line similar to, "Don't tell my son what to do!" her or your things will be packed up on the porch, ready to go, within an hour. If she doesn't respect your ability to guide a child under your roof, then get out. Those words were IN EVERY CASE the onset of bad tidings, including nasty divorce in all but one case. When a child learns that when you tell them to do something they don't like, all s/he has to do is run to mommy, then YOU become virtually powerless over your own life.
Peace Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 Frogger, you're courting 2 people. You need to win both of their love and you need to be in this ONLY for long-term (ie forever) interests. You don't screw and leave a single mom and her kid because if you do, you leave a dual trail of wreckage behind: one hers, one the child's. Go slow and be sure of things because you can only approach this as a potential father to her child. To approach it in any other casual way will hurt the kid.
Stl Bills Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 Her priority is to foster the successful development of her little dna packet. Be wary if she offers all three inputs at this early juncture, lest you become a mere resource to that end.
bbb Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 Oddly enough this is his post count: # Posts: 69
boyst Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 I do not date single moms. I definately suggest that you wear protection, you do not want to end up giving her a second child - even unplanned or accidental, and risk that you leave her a single mom of two. Best of luck, but I could never date a single mom.
DC Tom Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 The child comes first. Don't ever make her choose between you and them because you will lose. Or worse...you win, in which case you're now dating a selfish psycho whore who doesn't care about her kid.
tennesseeboy Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 Jags fan? I'm not sure you want to deal with that. Now if she were a patriot or fish fan, I'd say dump her. Does she actually know you are a bills fan?
Cugalabanza Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 I was once the young child of a single mother. I remember many of these boyfriends coming and going. Some were cool, some were not. I remember a couple of these douchebags as being particularly inconsiderate or even cruel to both my mother and me. I have had the strange opportunity of meeting a few of these guys later as an adult. A couple of them I remember as being cool and it was interesting to talk to them. There was one time though that I had the distinct pleasure of telling one particular asswipe what I thought of him and that perhaps he should go !@#$ himself and then promptly rot in hell. Moral of the story: Just be a decent person. It's ok if you date this woman and it does not last forever. As long as you are not an abusive prick, everyone involved will be just fine.
frogger Posted December 17, 2010 Author Posted December 17, 2010 Tennesseeboy, she knows, and when the jaguars move to los angeles, she has agreed to be a bills fan.
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