Fan in San Diego Posted November 5, 2010 Share Posted November 5, 2010 Having a baby will change your priorities and your motivation. Being a Dad is the best job in the world. It's harder than hell, don't kid yourself about that. But very rewarding. Get a job, keep the job and relax and enjoy your being a Dad. Don't get stressed out, it will all work out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jerry Christ Posted November 5, 2010 Share Posted November 5, 2010 (edited) You should seriously have a talk with your fiance about the option of abortion. My advice would be to wait until you have a career or at least a steady job before playing grownup. The financial and emotional toll that just one child brings is gigantic. Also, why marry so young? Play the field a bit to really see the variety of women that are out there for you and with which you might have greater compatibility. Don't just pick the first girl who decides to put out. Also, as most young adults get older, they undergo a lot of personality changes from age 20 or so until 30. that is one of the most ignorant posts I've heard They are many different types of help out there for people......if times get bad go to the social services and they will atleast give you some vouchers for food. There is help until you get back on your feet! being a parent tires you hell out, but so many great moment rock!!!!! Edited November 5, 2010 by Jerry Christ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stussy109 Posted November 6, 2010 Share Posted November 6, 2010 You should seriously have a talk with your fiance about the option of abortion. My advice would be to wait until you have a career or at least a steady job before playing grownup. The financial and emotional toll that just one child brings is gigantic. Also, why marry so young? Play the field a bit to really see the variety of women that are out there for you and with which you might have greater compatibility. Don't just pick the first girl who decides to put out. Also, as most young adults get older, they undergo a lot of personality changes from age 20 or so until 30. This guys is retarded...if you are 21, i would slightly agree, but otherwise, don't listen to him. being a father offers 50x's more rewards than playing the field ever could. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KD in CA Posted November 6, 2010 Share Posted November 6, 2010 Don't worry. It is common to be nervous. I had just turned 41 when we had our first son and 46 when we had our second son. Believe me, I was nervous. First you worry about the health of the baby and the mother and then you worry about the fact that this little guy is totally dependent on you. Enjoy being a dad. It is absolutely the best part of my life. I'm pretty close to Peter in age and was also nervous about our little one (19 months now) and my wife, both during the pregnancy and the early months. Small price to pay for the reward; being a Dad is the most fulfilling thing I've ever done. Biggest piece of advice I can give you is to remember that this is a HUGE change and it's no longer about YOU. I don't mean for that to sound scary - it's not. But your life changes and the focus of things becomes the family and the kid. It's not about when you're going to find time for yourself to do something you like to do - you take that when you can get it but there are very few times when you get a 'day off'. Example - the times you're going to look forward to are things like a trip to the zoo with the family and even then you're still going to have plenty of responsibility. You're going to probably be hard pressed to spend every Saturday with the guys going mountain biking like you do now - the focus will shift. I think the guys who have the biggest problems with fatherhood somehow think that once they have a kid life is still going to be pretty much the same just with a kid - no such thing. Because they think that way they get upset that they aren't mountain biking with the guys every Saturday or if they are it's causing problems because you're leaving Mom to do everything while you take time for yourself - neither is a good situation. The sooner you can understand that it's not about you and really enjoy the zoo trip rather than the Saturday with the guys the better off you'll be - welcome to a new stage of your life. Spot on. Once you have that little on, moutaining biking won't seem all that important anymore (and if it does and you still need to go every Saturday, don't have kids because you'll be a sh--ty father). That doesn't mean you shouldn't go mountain biking twice a year or take one weekend away a year for golf/football game/whatever, but your first priority will be doing stuff with your family. And for me, that's totally fine. I'm at work all week so I'd rather be with my family on the weekends anyway than hanging out with buddies. Talk mommy into breast feeding, it's better for the kid and you get to see her boobs way more often. And it eliminates you from having to make a bottle in the middle of the night. No question about the breast feeding. So much better for the baby. You aren't going to like my advice but you asked for it so here it is. Your gal is waaaaaay more scared than you are. So quit being a whiny B word, nut up and be a pillar of support like a man should. Very important point here, tactfully delivered by Simon. Even though she's probably cranky and you haven't gotten laid in months, you need to suck it up and give your wife a ton of backing now and once the baby comes. Tell her she's doing an amazing job frequently and take care of everything around the house for a while. Don't believe the hype, the good FAR outweighs the bad. By an astronomical unit. Enjoy! It's going to be the best thing to ever happen to you. Welcome to the daddy club... Perfect summary. I wouldn't trade being a Dad for anything. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExiledInIllinois Posted November 7, 2010 Share Posted November 7, 2010 (edited) Tell her she's doing an amazing job frequently and take care of everything around the house for a while. Kinda like road tolls. I am still freaking doing it 12 years later! "Gee, I can't touch the litter box because I am pregnant." "No prob honey! I will do it." Now flash 12 years later... :thumbdown: (I don't know why I am laughing?) Edited November 7, 2010 by ExiledInIllinois Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drinkTHEkoolaid Posted November 7, 2010 Share Posted November 7, 2010 Congrats, and just that you are this concerned about trying to be a good dad will go a long way. Just keep a good attitude and try to enjoy the little things. the ABSOLUTE best thing in the world is when your kid probably sometime around 3 years old gives you a hug and says "i love you daddy" just take the good days with the bad and enjoy the ride, it's not easy but that's what makes it rewarding! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
truth on hold Posted November 8, 2010 Share Posted November 8, 2010 I'd highly recommend you get the book "Home Game: An Accidental Guide to Fatherhood" by Michael Lewis. Entertaining, insightful and instructive reading from a new father. http://www.amazon.com/Home-Game-Accidental-Guide-Fatherhood/dp/0393338096/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1289206044&sr=8-1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peace Posted November 8, 2010 Share Posted November 8, 2010 I'd highly recommend you get the book "Home Game: An Accidental Guide to Fatherhood" by Michael Lewis. Entertaining, insightful and instructive reading from a new father. http://www.amazon.com/Home-Game-Accidental-Guide-Fatherhood/dp/0393338096/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1289206044&sr=8-1 One of my favorite authors--never heard of that book. Just sent it to my Kindle. To the guy who recommended that he abort the baby and "play the field." You are subhuman. And I'm not a Pro Life person. But that's serious advice to toss out like you know diddly dick about this guy, his partner, and his future daughter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob's House Posted November 8, 2010 Share Posted November 8, 2010 Hey Bills Fans, Im a new member on the board and a few months ago I found out I'm going to be a father of a baby girl. My fiancee and I are very young and I'm having a hard time holding down a job lately. We live together but lately I've been having some emotional ups and downs, just having doubts about whether I can make a good father or not. Some of you guys have got to be dads (duh) so I was just wondering if its normal to be nervous and worrying so much about just being a good dad. Haven't been able to find a dads social network which is why I'm posting it on here lol. II'd just welcome any advice from fathers out there that kinda know what I mean. See what others experiences have been Thanks guys GO BIIIIIILLLLLLLSSSSSSS!!!!! The most important thing IMO is to learn patience, control your anger, and remember that they're little sponges that want to explore and learn. Sometimes, in fact, damn near all the time, their explorations will cost you time and often expense, but it's a small price to pay not to stifle their spirit. And never withhold love as punishment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peace Posted November 8, 2010 Share Posted November 8, 2010 You can undo 10,000 hours of love and care in a single moment of anger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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