Dan Posted October 17, 2010 Share Posted October 17, 2010 I don't know how many of you guys have been through a failed marriage/divorce, but it changes who you are as a person. In my life, it ranks as probably the most painful and difficult thing I've even been through. I completely agree with the OP that a "grumpy" issue is not by any means a valid excuse for his wife to go out and cheat on him. Obviously we don't know the whole story, but people today seem to take very lightly the vows they took on their wedding day. If your partner is acting like a grumpy biatch, then you talk to them like an adult. You work through the issue, either individually, together, or with a counselor. You don't go out and completely destroy your marriage by banging someone else. I understand that when people discuss personal issues on a message board that they open themselves up to criticism and flaming, but give the guy some slack...this is likely going to be something that will take him years to recover from. All true and good points. But, I would suggest that it's always good to never let yourself get too high or too low. You always have to keep a sense of humor about yourself and your situation. I don't see the posters here (myself included) necessarily criticizing, but rather trying to help the OP have a sense of humor about his situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beerball Posted October 17, 2010 Share Posted October 17, 2010 I don't know how many of you guys have been through a failed marriage/divorce, but it changes who you are as a person. In my life, it ranks as probably the most painful and difficult thing I've even been through. I completely agree with the OP that a "grumpy" issue is not by any means a valid excuse for his wife to go out and cheat on him. Obviously we don't know the whole story, but people today seem to take very lightly the vows they took on their wedding day. If your partner is acting like a grumpy biatch, then you talk to them like an adult. You work through the issue, either individually, together, or with a counselor. You don't go out and completely destroy your marriage by banging someone else. I understand that when people discuss personal issues on a message board that they open themselves up to criticism and flaming, but give the guy some slack...this is likely going to be something that will take him years to recover from. Luckily I don't have any experience in this area, but aside from the obligatory sell the ring post everyone was offering constructive advice, he just didn't like it. Look inside yourself for some answers isn't a bad answer, in fact it might be the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KD in CA Posted October 17, 2010 Share Posted October 17, 2010 I don't know how many of you guys have been through a failed marriage/divorce, but it changes who you are as a person. In my life, it ranks as probably the most painful and difficult thing I've even been through. I completely agree with the OP that a "grumpy" issue is not by any means a valid excuse for his wife to go out and cheat on him. Obviously we don't know the whole story, but people today seem to take very lightly the vows they took on their wedding day. If your partner is acting like a grumpy biatch, then you talk to them like an adult. You work through the issue, either individually, together, or with a counselor. You don't go out and completely destroy your marriage by banging someone else. I've been through a divorce, but that's not really relevant. More importantly I know that there are two sides to every story and the initial post didn't exactly sound like a balanced account of the history of his marriage. We have no idea what 'grumpy' really means or how long she asked him to change or how much counseling they tried. But that doesn't really matter either. What matters is that he should stop dwelling on the perceived injustice of his sitution, and rather start focusing on where his life is going from today forward -- which is exactly what people were posting. I understand that when people discuss personal issues on a message board that they open themselves up to criticism and flaming, but give the guy some slack...this is likely going to be something that will take him years to recover from. Nobody flamed the guy at all until he started acting like a jerk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boyst Posted October 17, 2010 Share Posted October 17, 2010 I have been on this site for a long long time, and never enjoy reading any of the thoughts of you dimwits. I always post I never enjoy reading the different views. The reason that I am asking for help is that my life has just been turned upside-down. I just found out that my wife (who I love more than anything) is leaving me. For 3 days she led me to believe that I was the one to blame because I was grumpy alot and pushed her away, which I probably did. After 3 days of whining, annoying, harassing, and yelling at her because she no longer put up with me, I found out that she had been looking for ANY POSSIBLE ATTENTION FROM HUMANITY outside of the home. I immediately went from confusion to more confusion. I just cannot understand how someone that says they love you that much but never have been told they are loved could not only stepout of the marriage, but leave you feeling like you are the one to blame. This last week has been an emotional lollercoaster. I had never truly given myself to god until this situation. I did this past week to be able to find help to get through this. And I have to tell you that it was one of the best decisions I have made, I just wish it hadent taken this for me to give myself to the myth. It has truly helped a weak deprived soul. I guess that I dont really know what kind of help I am looking for, so don't give me any. I just know that this is going to be a very difficult journey for me as I try to adjust to losing the woman I truly love but never told (who is also my only friend), living alone, and dealing with the range of emotions that I am going to have to deal with. I just thought that there would be some other Bills fans that have been down this road before and would be able to give pat me on the back and tell me I am the man! I know this is going to be difficult but I do not really want any support. Thanks DimWit P.S. PRAYERS ARE WELCOME, BECAUSE YOU PEOPLE AREN'T WELCOME TO COMMENT!! fixed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted October 18, 2010 Share Posted October 18, 2010 YOU GUYS ARE JACKASSES!!!! Thanks for kickin a guy when he's down. Is this better? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pebblez Posted October 18, 2010 Share Posted October 18, 2010 All men are grumpy. Hasn't she learned this yet?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bbb Posted October 18, 2010 Share Posted October 18, 2010 I had never truly given myself to god until this situation. I did this past week to be able to find help to get through this. And I have to tell you that it was one of the best decisions I have made, I just wish it hadent taken this for me to give myself. It has truly helped. Most of us, unfortunately, have to go thru something bad before giving ourselves to God or finding God in some way. Don't discount the help that you are feeling from that. And, there are those who are telling you to look inside. That is also where you'll find God and you'll find who you are in relation to God and in general. Life can suck, but remember that there are millions who have gone thru what you are going thru and came out better on the other end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fan in Chicago Posted October 18, 2010 Share Posted October 18, 2010 I have been on this site for quite some time, and enjoy reading all of the banter. I rarely post I just enjoy reading the different views. I know this is going to be difficult and appreciate all of the support. Thanks DW P.S. PRAYERS ARE WELCOME!! A very similar situation happened with a couple I knew. The woman was actively banging at least one guy and possibly more. She had a psychological condition which she did not admit too which caused her to constantly seek approval and admiration from other people especially men. Once she started with the other guy, she started fabricating reasons to convince others that her husband was a jerk and unattentive to her needs. Fact was she is all he could think about or do anything for. But no matter of 'attention' was enough for her as she was just looking for an out. She turned the kids against him and finally forced a divorce. Now here is the sad part - the entire drama lasted 2-3 years and they have been divorced for 2 years now. The guy still won't let go. He still thinks he has a chance to 'win her back', that she wil come back to him. She does come back to him when she is lonely in the evenings. The spineless idiot still goes to see her whenever she wants like a dog who has been kicked but still will go for a snuggle at the masters feet. What I wanted to say was - there is no way for me to tell the degree of fault in your marriage. But the best thing for you to do will be (1) be completely business like in the divorce procedings. let the lawyer help you and dont let her squeeze you dry (2) If you have kids, be especially careful not to lose them as she will do everything in her power to be the ideal mom and portray you as the irresponsible and uncaring dad (3) Start looking forward though it may be very tough to forget the past & mope on why things happened the way they did. Nothing will kill her 'high' as seeing you not care and moving on with your life Finally, do not be afraid to seek professional help early and often. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fezmid Posted October 18, 2010 Share Posted October 18, 2010 I understand that when people discuss personal issues on a message board that they open themselves up to criticism and flaming, but give the guy some slack...this is likely going to be something that will take him years to recover from. That's all well and good, but nobody attacked/flamed him until after he called everyone a jackass... It was constructive feedback before that. The only possible negative post was mine, and it was CLEARLY a joke (hookers and blow - along with shiv the mofo - are standards on the board). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted October 18, 2010 Share Posted October 18, 2010 (hookers and blow - along with shiv the mofo - are standards on the board). Hookers and blow are standards here? Where do I sign up for that stuff?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fezmid Posted October 18, 2010 Share Posted October 18, 2010 Hookers and blow are standards here? Where do I sign up for that stuff?? We'd tell you, but then we'd have to shiv you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted October 18, 2010 Share Posted October 18, 2010 We'd tell you, but then we'd have to shiv you. I'm willing to take that risk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Jack Posted October 18, 2010 Share Posted October 18, 2010 Hookers and blow are standards here? Where do I sign up for that stuff?? Unfortunately you never ask us for advice so we all assumed you would already know where to find them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Assquatch Posted October 18, 2010 Share Posted October 18, 2010 I have been on this site for quite some time, and enjoy reading all of the banter. I rarely post I just enjoy reading the different views. The reason that I am asking for help is that my life has just been turned upside-down. I just found out that my wife (who I love more than anything) is leaving me. For 3 days she led me to believe that I was the one to blame because I was grumpy alot and pushed her away. After 3 days of begging, pleading, explaining, and having a complete feeling of self-hatred because I had hurt the woman that I truly love, I found out that she had been looking for love outside of the home. I immediately went from anguish to anger. I just cannot understand how someone that says they love you that much they could not only stepout of the marriage, but leave you feeling like you are the one to blame. This last week has been an emotional rollercoaster. I had never truly given myself to god until this situation. I did this past week to be able to find help to get through this. And I have to tell you that it was one of the best decisions I have made, I just wish it hadent taken this for me to give myself. It has truly helped. I guess that I dont really know what kind of help I am looking for. I just know that this is going to be a very difficult journey for me as I try to adjust to loosing the woman I truly love (who is also my best friend), living alone, and dealing with the range of emotions that I am going to have to deal with. I just thought that there would be some other Bills fans that have been down this road before and would be able to give any kind of help/wisdom. I know this is going to be difficult and appreciate all of the support. Thanks DW P.S. PRAYERS ARE WELCOME!! Link? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted October 18, 2010 Share Posted October 18, 2010 Unfortunately you never ask us for advice so we all assumed you would already know where to find them. Good point. I found them myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BB27 Posted October 19, 2010 Share Posted October 19, 2010 A very similar situation happened with a couple I knew. The woman was actively banging at least one guy and possibly more. She had a psychological condition which she did not admit too which caused her to constantly seek approval and admiration from other people especially men. Once she started with the other guy, she started fabricating reasons to convince others that her husband was a jerk and unattentive to her needs. Fact was she is all he could think about or do anything for. But no matter of 'attention' was enough for her as she was just looking for an out. She turned the kids against him and finally forced a divorce. Now here is the sad part - the entire drama lasted 2-3 years and they have been divorced for 2 years now. The guy still won't let go. He still thinks he has a chance to 'win her back', that she wil come back to him. She does come back to him when she is lonely in the evenings. The spineless idiot still goes to see her whenever she wants like a dog who has been kicked but still will go for a snuggle at the masters feet. What I wanted to say was - there is no way for me to tell the degree of fault in your marriage. But the best thing for you to do will be (1) be completely business like in the divorce procedings. let the lawyer help you and dont let her squeeze you dry (2) If you have kids, be especially careful not to lose them as she will do everything in her power to be the ideal mom and portray you as the irresponsible and uncaring dad (3) Start looking forward though it may be very tough to forget the past & mope on why things happened the way they did. Nothing will kill her 'high' as seeing you not care and moving on with your life Finally, do not be afraid to seek professional help early and often. Was she good looking? Because if she is a knock out, then it explains a lot....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BUFFALOTONE Posted October 19, 2010 Share Posted October 19, 2010 Was she good looking? Because if she is a knock out, then it explains a lot....... I am going to go out on a limb and say no. Typical Daddy never paid attention to me syndrome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fan in Chicago Posted October 19, 2010 Share Posted October 19, 2010 I am going to go out on a limb and say no. Typical Daddy never paid attention to me syndrome. No she was very hot but the doctors and not nature played a large part in that. Pretty much everything was modded. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BB27 Posted October 19, 2010 Share Posted October 19, 2010 No she was very hot but the doctors and not nature played a large part in that. Pretty much everything was modded. Before we can make a true scientific determination on this one, we are going to need to see some pics........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KD in CA Posted October 19, 2010 Share Posted October 19, 2010 No she was very hot but the doctors and not nature played a large part in that. Pretty much everything was modded. My rule is not to be too picky about the details when banging someone else's wife. Before we can make a true scientific determination on this one, we are going to need to see some pics........ +1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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