1billsnut Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 (edited) I have been on this site for quite some time, and enjoy reading all of the banter. I rarely post I just enjoy reading the different views. The reason that I am asking for help is that my life has just been turned upside-down. I just found out that my wife (who I love more than anything) is leaving me. For 3 days she led me to believe that I was the one to blame because I was grumpy alot and pushed her away. After 3 days of begging, pleading, explaining, and having a complete feeling of self-hatred because I had hurt the woman that I truly love, I found out that she had been looking for love outside of the home. I immediately went from anguish to anger. I just cannot understand how someone that says they love you that much they could not only stepout of the marriage, but leave you feeling like you are the one to blame. This last week has been an emotional rollercoaster. I had never truly given myself to god until this situation. I did this past week to be able to find help to get through this. And I have to tell you that it was one of the best decisions I have made, I just wish it hadent taken this for me to give myself. It has truly helped. I guess that I dont really know what kind of help I am looking for. I just know that this is going to be a very difficult journey for me as I try to adjust to loosing the woman I truly love (who is also my best friend), living alone, and dealing with the range of emotions that I am going to have to deal with. I just thought that there would be some other Bills fans that have been down this road before and would be able to give any kind of help/wisdom. I know this is going to be difficult and appreciate all of the support. Thanks DW P.S. PRAYERS ARE WELCOME!! Edited October 15, 2010 by 1billsnut Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Jack Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 Get yourself a therapist, stat. Call your insurance provider and see if they cover that on your policy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ACor58 Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 Get yourself a therapist, stat. Call your insurance provider and see if they cover that on your policy. I agree with Just Jack - definitely find a therapist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1billsnut Posted October 15, 2010 Author Share Posted October 15, 2010 I have went to a therapist this week and am going to continue, thanks for the input. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BB27 Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 (edited) Therapist and a lawyer. If she is looking for something else while you are married (or found something else), fight in court not to give her a dime when you split. Don't get screwed twice..... She betrayed you! Edited October 15, 2010 by BB27 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1billsnut Posted October 16, 2010 Author Share Posted October 16, 2010 Therapist and a lawyer. If she is looking for something else while you are married (or found something else), fight in court not to give her a dime when you split. Don't get screwed twice..... She betrayed you! I have spoken to an attorney,and I dont think she is going to be able to get much of anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BB27 Posted October 16, 2010 Share Posted October 16, 2010 I have spoken to an attorney,and I dont think she is going to be able to get much of anything. Good to hear it. Smart move. Like all things, this too shall pass.......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fezmid Posted October 16, 2010 Share Posted October 16, 2010 Surprised I haven't seen this answer posted yet... So I'll steal it for my own. Get the ring. Sell it. Use it on hookers and blow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted October 16, 2010 Share Posted October 16, 2010 I agree with you needing professional help. But did you ever think that the reason she's stepped outside the marriage is because you've been grumpy and pushing her away? You need to look inside yourself on this one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1billsnut Posted October 16, 2010 Author Share Posted October 16, 2010 I agree with you needing professional help. But did you ever think that the reason she's stepped outside the marriage is because you've been grumpy and pushing her away? You need to look inside yourself on this one. I have looked inside myself, and I know that it was not all roses, but I could not see how it was bad enough to end our marriage. I found out why...it wasnt that bad. There was just someone else. LIVING WITH SOMEONE WHO IS GRUMPY IS NOT A REASON TO GIVE UP ON A MARRIAGE AND STEP OUTSIDE!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KD in CA Posted October 16, 2010 Share Posted October 16, 2010 I have looked inside myself, and I know that it was not all roses, but I could not see how it was bad enough to end our marriage. I found out why...it wasnt that bad. There was just someone else. LIVING WITH SOMEONE WHO IS GRUMPY IS NOT A REASON TO GIVE UP ON A MARRIAGE AND STEP OUTSIDE!!!!! This reminds me of the great scene in When Harry Met Sally where he's at the Giants game telling his buddy about the break up and says "that symptom was f---ing my wife". Comedy aside, most women who cheat do it because they are not happy in their relationship. For some people, living with a partner who is grumpy all the time IS a reason to give up on a marriage. You only get one life, no sense in living it with someone who isn't any fun. That's not to say you should beat yourself up over the breakup. It's just that her standards for what makes a happy marriage are different from yours. It's not about who's right or wrong, the tricky part about marriage is making sure it is 'right' for both people. In your case it wasn't so now it's time for both of you to find something better. p.s. after you are done with the therapy and lawyer, get yourself laid. Seriously. It'll give you a new perspective on the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1billsnut Posted October 16, 2010 Author Share Posted October 16, 2010 YOU GUYS ARE JACKASSES!!!! Thanks for kickin a guy when he's down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fezmid Posted October 16, 2010 Share Posted October 16, 2010 YOU GUYS ARE JACKASSES!!!! Thanks for kickin a guy when he's down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Posted October 16, 2010 Share Posted October 16, 2010 YOU GUYS ARE JACKASSES!!!! Thanks for kickin a guy when he's down. Why you being so grumpy? People are just tryin' to offer some advice. It's almost like you're pushing them away and would rather not hear what they have to say? I think I'm just going to go post somewhere else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beerball Posted October 17, 2010 Share Posted October 17, 2010 YOU GUYS ARE JACKASSES!!!! Thanks for kickin a guy when he's down. Wow, you sound grumpy & you ask for help and then you push people away? That's no way to act. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acantha Posted October 17, 2010 Share Posted October 17, 2010 YOU GUYS ARE JACKASSES!!!! Thanks for kickin a guy when he's down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mead107 Posted October 17, 2010 Share Posted October 17, 2010 Any kids? If you love her you will wish her well and go find another woman. Wine helps. Match dot .com. Get moving on with your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted October 17, 2010 Share Posted October 17, 2010 Why you being so grumpy? People are just tryin' to offer some advice. It's almost like you're pushing them away and would rather not hear what they have to say? I think I'm just going to go post somewhere else. I'm pretty much on his wife's side now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KD in CA Posted October 17, 2010 Share Posted October 17, 2010 Why you being so grumpy? People are just tryin' to offer some advice. It's almost like you're pushing them away and would rather not hear what they have to say? I think I'm just going to go post somewhere else. Apparently we were all supposed to tell him what a great guy he is and how dare his wife decide she didn't want to be married to him anymore. Based on the limited evidence of how he deals with feedback, I'm not surprised by her decision. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ajzepp Posted October 17, 2010 Share Posted October 17, 2010 I don't know how many of you guys have been through a failed marriage/divorce, but it changes who you are as a person. In my life, it ranks as probably the most painful and difficult thing I've even been through. I completely agree with the OP that a "grumpy" issue is not by any means a valid excuse for his wife to go out and cheat on him. Obviously we don't know the whole story, but people today seem to take very lightly the vows they took on their wedding day. If your partner is acting like a grumpy biatch, then you talk to them like an adult. You work through the issue, either individually, together, or with a counselor. You don't go out and completely destroy your marriage by banging someone else. I understand that when people discuss personal issues on a message board that they open themselves up to criticism and flaming, but give the guy some slack...this is likely going to be something that will take him years to recover from. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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