(OT) Your Heaven

[Gavin in Va Beach]

What, you mean they didn't explain to you about the temporal quantum-space continuum manifested in N-10 (theoretical - maximum 6 observable) dimensional superstrings?

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Nope, I fell asleep in that class. Can you explain it to me?

[aussiew]

I'd be sitting in a Buffalo diner in 1959, at 1 AM, December 25th, coming off a 2nd-shift manufacturing job. I've loaded the Seeburg juke box with Christmas songs.

 

I'd have a grilled cheese and bacon sandwich and a double order of buttered toast in front of me, and a cup of coffee. It would be snowing - big flakes - and out in the lot, my 1955 electric blue Ford wagon would already have the tire chains on, and on the seat there would be several boxes of Freddie's peanut sticks and chocolate-covered creme donuts and glazed donuts and a crumb cake and an almond ring. And some more presents for my wife and kids.

 

The roads are pretty much empty, but the flakes against the street lights would be like a quiet fury. I'd turn on the radio, and when the tubes warmed up, I'd listen to the few stations still broadcasting, and they would be playing Christmas music.

 

I'd pull into the drive and bring the donuts and packages in. My wife, grandmother, great aunt and uncle would be asleep. I'd hit the hay. The kids would be up by 6 AM, vibrating on the stair landing until they were allowed to storm down the stairs and get the loot.

 

The "WE WILL all go to church at noon" vows will once again dissolve. We adults would have some coffee and crumb cake. My wife will corral this kid and that and give them their daily squirt of cod liver oil and the spoonful of blackstrap.

 

As usual, the plans for an orderly dinner (back when dinner was the big meal of the day and before it became to be called lunch) fell by the wayside. Donuts, milk, grubby little hands grabbing pieces of ham rule the day. Occasionally, a vegetable is comsumed, but that's a rarity.

 

The snow continues, the day wears on. We adults make the inevitable attempt to lecture the odd captured kid about the Meaning of Christmas. They take it with head askance - they know it, but but they are overwhelmed with the joys-of-toys...which is fine. That's what kids need - happy times to temper them against their world to come.

 

Evening comes, the wild ones are tuckered out (and believe me, they will be in top form - early - next morning). My dearest elders retire early, and my wife and me sit on the couch, arm over shoulder with lights low, watching the big flakes dance against the diffuse glow of the street lamps

silently thinking about the great gift given to us from Above.

 

Thanks Cincy - beautiful post.

 

First time I got tears of laughter, joy and melancholy all in the same thread.

[Kevbeau]

I see myself in, sort of, Sun God robes, on a pyramid, with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at me?

 

 

 

PS I though heaven was in a cornfield in Iowa?

[Realist]

hurray! except i'd have to go against the three feet tall and flat heads deal...i'm not sure what your fetishes are, but i don't go for circus midgets

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I think he means 3 feet tall, because it the perfect height for...well, you know, ah..servicing. And flat heads so he has somewhere to put his beer.

[Ralonzo]

Nope, I fell asleep in that class. Can you explain it to me?

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Well, the crux of it is that not only are all things possible at any time, but inevitable. All things have happened, are happening, and will happen. That's the quantum part of it. Have you checked on Schroedinger's Cat lately?

 

Another thing most folks have to unlearn is that time is fixed and proceeds in an orderly fashion. It is not fixed; it is another axis, like x, y, z, in-out, and so on. Think of points on a line on a sheet of paper. From one point's perspective, the only way of reaching the other point is by following the line. We know this is not so. By folding the sheet of paper, you can move one point through an unperceivable 3rd dimension such that it is now at the same place as the other point. Time is the same way, you just use gravity to fold the paper. Travel through higher dimensions to other spacetimes is no big stretch, once you accept that higher dimensions exist, and that's where superstring comes in.

 

There is a subset of superstring theory that says we live on a universe rolled up at the intersection of at least 5 and up to 10 dimensions, of which we can directly perceive 4 (x, y, z, time) - 5 if you count gravity but that's not universally accepted yet. Stuff that happens beyond those is what Einstein called "strange" (i.e. faster than light data communication between seemingly unlinked quantum-state objects). Spacetime is the surface of the high-dimension object. It really isn't as big as you think - a point on a sphere would perceive the surface to be infinite in all directions. But go far enough in a given direction and you'll end up where you started. I'm not up on all of the equations, there's better folks than me who probably won't be able come up with a complete and unified theory for the next 50 years, but parts are being solved all the time and will have practical application in your lifetime.

 

That's the Cliff's Notes version, but check Stephen Hawking's stuff, I think he "gets it" more than anyone else on the planet.

[Beerball]

I think he means 3 feet tall, because it the perfect height for...well, you know, ah..servicing.  And flat heads so he has somewhere to put his beer.

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How dare you try to put words in my mouth. You sir are a COMMUNIST and we will be taking away your pencil!

[/dev/null]

My idea of heaven would involve lounging around with the Bush Twins, Natalie Portman, and Katie Holmes on satin sheets. there are fine cuban cigars and ample quantity of smooth liquour. a 60+ inch plasma screen tv with surround sound broadcasting Ralph Wilson hoisting the Lombardi Trophy to cap off a 19-0 season and Joe Paterno leading the Nittany Lions to a National Title B)

[stuckincincy]

My idea of  heaven would involve lounging around with the Bush Twins, Natalie Portman, and Katie Holmes on satin sheets.  there are fine cuban cigars and ample quantity of smooth liquour.  a 60+ inch plasma screen tv with surround sound broadcasting Ralph Wilson hoisting the Lombardi Trophy to cap off a 19-0 season and Joe Paterno leading the Nittany Lions to a National Title B)

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I can't help but think Kate Capshaw in her prime would be a good addition.

[JLO]

I see myself in, sort of, Sun God robes, on a pyramid, with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at me?

PS I though heaven was in a cornfield in Iowa?

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Real Genius

[Alaska Darin]

Real Genius

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Great Movie. A true classic.

[Simon]

Every day I get up just in time for sunrise. It's about 65 degrees out already (today's hightemp will be around 70) so I head out on the porch overlooking the river valley and have a huge bowl of halfHoneycomb/halfFrostedFlakes with whole milk and top it off with a giant piece of Dutch Apple pie. Hey, nobody gets fat in heaven, right.

Then I hike down to the river, hop in the boat, roll up a hogleg and head downriver to work. About 2 miles before I get there, I break off the main river and take the underground stream that pops up right beside my "office".

After putting my work clothes on I head out to the field, line up at Strong Safety and play a 240 minute long ballgame against the phish with no TV timeouts that always ends just after twilight. Every day is the same but every game is different.

I go straight home after the game to find my wife, kids and all my finest friends just starting a kickass all night party. There's blenders in the kitchen, blenders on the porch, blenders by the fire with music and laughter in every direction. We spend the night dancin, howlin, wrasslin, throwin marshmallows and skinnydippin in the river. Enjoy my last drink of the eve as the sun is coming up over the hills and curl up with my wife for 8hrs of sack time(7 of it sleeping:-) only to wake up and discover the sun is still coming up, I'm well-rested with no hangover and am scheduled to square off with the phins just 3 hrs from now!-)

[Kevbeau]

Real Genius

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Tell him what he's won Bob...

[_BiB_]

I just want to go home.