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Posted
LOL, the virgins is a good idea, but my heaven would be a little differnt.

 

just like my life now, but i could sleep with any woman i wanted. and people would think that was completly normal. just walkin down the street and see a cute girl, and all i would have to do is say hi, and shes mine.. then afterwards she would just walk away like all i did was say hi. no talking or "ill call you" crap. that would be heaven.

 

o, and at work, i could just walk up and punch my boss in the mouth, and he would act like i just shook his hand. LOL.

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ui could sort of fulfill some of your heaven

http://www.whackyourboss.com

Posted

3. Their eyes would get that "oh my god what does he want to do with that big thing look" when they see me naked.

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BWAHAHAHA...made me laugh out loud

Posted

I don't get it, why do people always want virgins?

Virgins are a pain in the ass.

 

Single malt scotch and friendly ladies for me. A challenging golf course and my regular foursome and Tuesday night bball. Oh, and steaks...good ones.

Posted
I'd like it to be transcendental where I gain knowledge and all the answers to questions regarding the formation of the universe and our place in it.

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What, you mean they didn't explain to you about the temporal quantum-space continuum manifested in N-10 (theoretical - maximum 6 observable) dimensional superstrings?

Posted
What have all you guys tasted that was salty?  This one has me truly stumped?  Popcorn?  Chips?  What? :w00t:

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i dont like salty things. but my girlfriend LOVES 1 salty item. :w00t:

Posted
What have all you guys tasted that was salty?  This one has me truly stumped?  Popcorn?  Chips?  What? :w00t:

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I don't need to have ever touched molton lava to know it's hot.

Posted
OK, here you go...my first thought was no women because it's heaven. 

But if these modifications could be made I would relent and allow women.

 

1. Women would still have mouths, they just couldn't speak (know what I mean :w00t: ).

2. They would have the ability to moan on cue though.  I would give the cue.

3. Their eyes would get that "oh my god what does he want to do with that big thing look" when they see me naked.

4. When their eyes got the look described in 3 it would be accompanied by their mouths forming an "O"

5. Three feet tall.

6. Flat head.

7. No dye jobs.

8. Perfect boobs, boobs of all sizes, but each one perfect in its own right.

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hurray! except i'd have to go against the three feet tall and flat heads deal...i'm not sure what your fetishes are, but i don't go for circus midgets

Posted

I'd be sitting in a Buffalo diner in 1959, at 1 AM, December 25th, coming off a 2nd-shift manufacturing job. I've loaded the Seeburg juke box with Christmas songs.

 

I'd have a grilled cheese and bacon sandwich and a double order of buttered toast in front of me, and a cup of coffee. It would be snowing - big flakes - and out in the lot, my 1955 electric blue Ford wagon would already have the tire chains on, and on the seat there would be several boxes of Freddie's peanut sticks and chocolate-covered creme donuts and glazed donuts and a crumb cake and an almond ring. And some more presents for my wife and kids.

 

The roads are pretty much empty, but the flakes against the street lights would be like a quiet fury. I'd turn on the radio, and when the tubes warmed up, I'd listen to the few stations still broadcasting, and they would be playing Christmas music.

 

I'd pull into the drive and bring the donuts and packages in. My wife, grandmother, great aunt and uncle would be asleep. I'd hit the hay. The kids would be up by 6 AM, vibrating on the stair landing until they were allowed to storm down the stairs and get the loot.

 

The "WE WILL all go to church at noon" vows will once again dissolve. We adults would have some coffee and crumb cake. My wife will corral this kid and that and give them their daily squirt of cod liver oil and the spoonful of blackstrap.

 

As usual, the plans for an orderly dinner (back when dinner was the big meal of the day and before it came to be called lunch) fell by the wayside. Donuts, milk, grubby little hands grabbing pieces of ham rule the day. Occasionally, a vegetable is consumed, but that's a rarity.

 

The snow continues, the day wears on. We adults make the inevitable attempt to lecture the odd captured kid about the Meaning of Christmas. They take it with head askance - they know it, but but they are overwhelmed with the joys-of-toys...which is fine. That's what kids need - happy times to temper them against their world to come.

 

Evening comes, the wild ones are tuckered out (and believe me, they will be in top form - early - next morning). My dearest elders retire early, and my wife and me sit on the couch, arm over shoulder with lights low, watching the big flakes dance against the diffuse glow of the street lamps

silently thinking about the great gift given to us from Above.

Guest Guest_Kent14_*
Posted

Heaven? As long as the Bills win a SB before I go to the big house I don't need heaven on earth. Now(aw) what I mean?

 

But, if I did have heaven on earth...have to be surrounded by Bills fans, lots of beer, sunshine, water...have to have water whether it's ocean, lake or river I need water, perpetual BBQ, plenty of beer, unlimited supply of single malt, fine cigars and cigarettes without the cancer BS, beer, R.Rich and thebigblackbear holding hands swaying gently while singing "Give Peace A Chance". That's heaven on earth for me. Did I mention beer?

 

im all in for that

but yoiu forgot to mention the chicks

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Can't Bills fans be female?

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