nick in* england Posted December 3, 2004 Posted December 3, 2004 It's my birthday... In honour here is a cracking set of truths I got as a present from my boss... I bought cakes - but y'all are too far away GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED: 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats. 2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair. 3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person. 4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato. 5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food. 6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair. 7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time. 8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. 9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. 10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap. GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED: 1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree. 2) Wrinkles don't hurt. 3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts. 4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground. 5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside. 6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy. GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD 1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. 2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get. 3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there. 4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster. 5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions. 6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. 7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone. THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE: 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus. 3) You are Santa Claus. 4) You look like Santa Claus. SUCCESS: At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants. At age 12 success is . . . having friends. At age 17 success is . . . having a drivers license. At age 35 success is . . . having money. At age 50 success is . . . having money. At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license. At age 75 success is . . . having friends. At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
Nanker Posted December 3, 2004 Posted December 3, 2004 Happy Birthday Nick! Enjoyed the witticisms. Just for you, I'll visit Page3.com and say hello to the girls for ya' while I'm enjoying their cheesecake. Happy B'day to you!
Mark VI Posted December 3, 2004 Posted December 3, 2004 Happy Birthday, youngster. Tip a Guinness or 10 today.
flomoe Posted December 3, 2004 Posted December 3, 2004 Happy Birthday Nick!! If you have too many Guinesses, try to be successful like a 4 and 80 year old.
Campy Posted December 3, 2004 Posted December 3, 2004 Happy Birthday Nick! PS: Say "Whatsup" to the Queen for me.
VABills Posted December 3, 2004 Posted December 3, 2004 HB old man. Now go goose the queen again. I think she is needs a little pick me up.
rockpile Posted December 3, 2004 Posted December 3, 2004 I like this traditoin - you give US a gift on your birthday! Happy Birthday and many more. A lot of people do not like getting older and try to cover it up and lie about their age. Me, I celebrate every birthday I have... it is no longer having birthdays that is the concern. Don't drink too much, but enjoy. As a friend of mine said after having a couple too many, "What the f do you think you bleedin blogger!"
Guest frank n farter Posted December 3, 2004 Posted December 3, 2004 happy birthday nick! and who do you play for in london?not the monarchs is it ?!
JohninMinn. Posted December 3, 2004 Posted December 3, 2004 Happy Birthday you bloody pommie! 143871[/snapback] Happy Birthday Nick! What's a pommie?
Dan Gross Posted December 3, 2004 Posted December 3, 2004 Happy Birthday Nick! What's a pommie? 144315[/snapback] Kind of like a "guy" Just a term of endearment that Aussies have for the Brits.
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