Bit of a morbid question

[rockpile]

You and your family are in my prayers.

 

The wife and I have it documented and notarized, with the originals in a small fireproof box, along with all other important pieces of paper. Copies are in a sealed envelope with a trusted family member.

 

I wrote my own living will and DNR terms. I let my wife decide what she wanted to do with my (our) remains. I do not plan to be in that shell, and would be happy if it is used to fertilize the garden! Wife did not like that idea but surprised me when she chose cremation.

 

Rock (in Irondequoit)

 

Thanks to all for the condolences.The real point was weather you care or haven't thought about it,you should. Then make your decisions and communicate them to all who need to know. It makes an impossible time at least doable.

Wills,living wills,health care proxy, DNR,etc all good to have and know. Remember just because you know wishes ,you are likely in shock and others in family need to know to carry on.

Joan was a hardcore bills fan and I hope she smiles on them as I know she is to me.

Thank you

Rob

[Guffalo]

I would love to inform my wife, I just don't know what I want. Sometimes I say just spread my ashes in the specific locations (Mountains, Water and Bills parking lot) and then sometimes I want to be buried. A few years ago a buddy of mine passed and he was cremated. I always wondered "what if" there is still some sort of activity going on. I know the organs are removed and the blood is drained and all that fun stuff, but I still began to back off my original wish to be cremated. I still don't have a decision.

[Chef Jim]

I would love to inform my wife, I just don't know what I want. Sometimes I say just spread my ashes in the specific locations (Mountains, Water and Bills parking lot) and then sometimes I want to be buried. A few years ago a buddy of mine passed and he was cremated. I always wondered "what if" there is still some sort of activity going on. I know the organs are removed and the blood is drained and all that fun stuff, but I still began to back off my original wish to be cremated. I still don't have a decision.

 

You're right it is a tough decision but if you're leaning one way now get it in writing. You just never know when your time is up. Trust me your family will not want to have to make that decision if something happens or at least they'd rather not have to. You can always amend it later.

[Jim in Anchorage]

The best thing you can do is sit down with loved ones and talk about death and your wishes. My wife of forty years passed suddenly last week,and if we had not had communicated to family about this subject it would have been much harder to think.

To make sure everyone knows is not morbid- it is a comfort in an impossible time.

So sorry. The pain will dull with time.Dull, but never go away entirely.

My mom and dad made it very clear they both wished to be cremated. I hated when they talked about it, but when they passed[first dad,then mom] I realized what a gift they had given the family by making their wishes known.

[UConn James]

I would prefer to have just a simple pine box and be buried in a small plot our family started for our dogs, located on a 3-acre wood lot across town. Next week will be two and three years (they passed on the same day - the same hour - exactly a year apart) respectively since we had to put them down. Dug the graves ourselves and placed them on their favorite beds. Similarly, I want no frills, no fluids, no nothing. Just stick my remains in the hole and let the carbons, hydrogens and other elements spring forth into new life. I've stated this to a few close friends and family. At this point, I don't see myself having kids or stuff like that... our dogs are like my sons... and if I do, I don't think my wishes will change.

 

Don't know whether that will fly with whatever authority controls these things. As I understand it, tho, the body can be released for private burial, and a number of people do this in so-called "green cemeteries" where the landscape isn't disturbed into a cookie-cutter flat lot of grass and marble. We've been to a number of funerals over the past several years and walking out of these places, I just have the feeling that I wouldn't want to be in a place like that, nor are those especially good for the environment. Better, I think, to keep the open space of a wooded area and tuck away graves here and there, with appropriate markers/planning.

 

If this isn't feasible, I suppose cremation and similar placement would be an option... I just want to be with my boys when I go. There's a hay field a short walk away, and while I think it's just a void, I certainly hope death is like the end of "Gladiator"... or "LOST."

[/dev/null]

When my Mom died , my Dad purchased 4 adjacent burial plots. One for each of them, my brother, and myself.

 

If something should happen to myself in the near future, I'll be buried there

[The Dean]

The best thing you can do is sit down with loved ones and talk about death and your wishes. My wife of forty years passed suddenly last week,and if we had not had communicated to family about this subject it would have been much harder to think.

To make sure everyone knows is not morbid- it is a comfort in an impossible time.

 

 

Sorry to hear of your loss, Rob. Glad you prepared in advance.

[The Dean]

On a lighter note, I think John Prine said it best:

 

[WotAGuy]

The best thing you can do is sit down with loved ones and talk about death and your wishes. My wife of forty years passed suddenly last week,and if we had not had communicated to family about this subject it would have been much harder to think.

To make sure everyone knows is not morbid- it is a comfort in an impossible time.

 

 

My condolences....40 years together is amazing. May God bless you both.

[HopsGuy]

Viking Funeral on Chautauqua Lake. If they don't allow that, something along the lines of what they did for Theodore Donald Kerabatsos.

[Jim in Anchorage]

Viking Funeral on Chautauqua Lake. If they don't allow that, something along the lines of what they did for Theodore Donald Kerabatsos.

Now that would be sight for a muskie fisherman. "any fish?" "No, but we saw a burning boat with a 8 foot tall funeral pyre on top"

[billsfan89]

Viking burial at sea (sans the burning of all my possessions)

[mead107]

The best thing you can do is sit down with loved ones and talk about death and your wishes. My wife of forty years passed suddenly last week,and if we had not had communicated to family about this subject it would have been much harder to think.

To make sure everyone knows is not morbid- it is a comfort in an impossible time.

Sorry for your loss.

[The Dean]

Viking Funeral on Chautauqua Lake. If they don't allow that, something along the lines of what they did for Theodore Donald Kerabatsos.

 

Don't ask permission!

[Jim in Anchorage]

Don't ask permission!

That was my first thought. Blame it on"careless smoking".

[UConn James]

Don't ask permission!

 

That's something one learns more and more as one gets older.

 

Add in the caveat that this applies only if you know what you're doing in the task at hand, and there's a high likelihood that you won't f--- everything up.

 

I would say that with a viking funeral, there's a host of factors that you need to get right. Ensuring adequate fuel (no "this pile of brush should do it" estimation), calculating drift, assessing fire conditions should the vessel ground, etc. There's always the chance that such a rite can end up as "'Viking Funeral' Forest Fire Kills 4; 50 Acres Ablaze." That would kind of suck.

 

I wonder if there's any private companies that do this.

[SageAgainstTheMachine]

Viking Funeral on Chautauqua Lake. If they don't allow that, something along the lines of what they did for Theodore Donald Kerabatsos.

 

Shut the !@#$ up, Donnie.

[JoeFerguson]

I want my body to be disposed of in the most economical and legal way possible. I do not want anyone to be inconvenienced by my death, so any memorial service will be held on a weekend and all guests will get plenty of advanced notice.

 

I do not want any funeral home directors to receive any money as a result of my death.

[stuckincincy]

I want my body to be disposed of in the most economical and legal way possible. I do not want anyone to be inconvenienced by my death, so any memorial service will be held on a weekend and all guests will get plenty of advanced notice.

 

I do not want any funeral home directors to receive any money as a result of my death.

 

I signed my mortal coil over to UCinn. While one likes to think that one's carcass contributes to the education of young medical people, I know that that's not necessarily the case. They will try to harvest this or that, to sell (I hope they don't try to do that - after a lifetime of booze and cigs, my parts are very faulty and I am diseased).

 

They also will try to charge my estate with the transportation cost to their icebox facility. I wish them luck. My wife will sing loud and clear to the media - plenty of them out there that would jump on such a juicy story...

 

UCinn says that eventually, my wife will get some ashes that may or may not be mine. They offer the dumping of same in some sort of memorial site they pay for.

 

 

Geo. Carlin once remarked that he would like his ashes put into a pepper mill at a pretentious restaurant .

[Chandler#81]

Personally I've told my wife to have me cremated. That may change in the future, but I doubt it. We're not tied to where we live by anything but employment and our 3 kids may live in different areas of the country. The days where you were born, lived and died within a 30 mile radius are over.

 

Uh-huh. My family has a bunch of burial plots in WNY, but me & the missus haven't lived there since '96 and the kids live in Fla. We've decided recently to scrap the earlier plans, get cremated and have the urns stored locally until the kids can plan a trip to WNY on their terms, for final internment.

 

However, we haven't changed the wills to reflect this..

 

Rob, my heartfelt condolences!