ieatcrayonz Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 They can make a steroid and/or HGH that: Makes Mark McGwire and Barrry Bonds hit homeruns Makes NFL linemen bigger and LBs quicker Make the Patriots win the Super Bowl with an entire defense over 35 Makes minor league pitchers well....something I'm not sure about but a lot of them get suspended so it must be good Makes Floyd Landis and Lance Armstrong pedal faster Makes a normal East German woman look like Sam Bradford My question is, why can't they make a steroid that makes soccer players score goals? And if they could, do you think they'll unveil it at the World Cup? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McBeane Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 They can make a steroid and/or HGH that: Makes Mark McGwire and Barrry Bonds hit homeruns Makes NFL linemen bigger and LBs quicker Make the Patriots win the Super Bowl with an entire defense over 35 Makes minor league pitchers well....something I'm not sure about but a lot of them get suspended so it must be good Makes Floyd Landis and Lance Armstrong pedal faster Makes a normal East German woman look like Sam Bradford My question is, why can't they make a steroid that makes soccer players score goals? And if they could, do you think they'll unveil it at the World Cup? Because scoring goals in soccer is an incredibly tough feat, only done by a mix of beautiful teamwork and great individual skills. Not to mention how good most of the goalies playing in the sport are. As a former goalie, there isn't much better to watch than unbelievable goaltending, hockey or soccer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cugalabanza Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 My question is, why can't they make a steroid that makes soccer players score goals? And if they could, do you think they'll unveil it at the World Cup? Soccer players are skittish about using that stuff because they are afraid of needles. It’s hurty on their sensitive skin. If they develop a performance enhancing drug that can be administered by a cold spray aerosol can, then you’ll see more goals in soccer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ieatcrayonz Posted May 25, 2010 Author Share Posted May 25, 2010 Because scoring goals in soccer is an incredibly tough feat, only done by a mix of beautiful teamwork and great individual skills. Not to mention how good most of the goalies playing in the sport are. As a former goalie, there isn't much better to watch than unbelievable goaltending, hockey or soccer. Spare me please. If they made soccer goals any bigger, they could use them as hangars for the space shuttle. Most of the goalies could ride at Santa Anita in the off season. They could be Hasek and still not cover 5% of the goal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuckincincy Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 Soccer players are skittish about using that stuff because they are afraid of needles. It’s hurty on their sensitive skin. If they develop a performance enhancing drug that can be administered by a cold spray aerosol can, then you’ll see more goals in soccer. Why do WC players fall onto the ground and writhe in pain if someone touches them with a mere tap of a pinkie...when the camera is on them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meazza Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 Why do WC players fall onto the ground and writhe in pain if someone touches them with a mere tap of a pinkie...when the camera is on them? To draw a foul. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted May 26, 2010 Share Posted May 26, 2010 To draw a foul. Fags Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meazza Posted May 26, 2010 Share Posted May 26, 2010 Fags They could EASILY eliminate diving by penalizing the player after the fact. If a player is said to have dived in a match, the player could be suspended later on in the tournament for a long period of time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SageAgainstTheMachine Posted May 26, 2010 Share Posted May 26, 2010 Why do WC players fall onto the ground and writhe in pain if someone touches them with a mere tap of a pinkie...when the camera is on them? If there's one thing that stops me from watching soccer, it's this. Sure, there's diving/embellishing in other sports...but soccer really has it down to a pathetic tee. It seems like everytime I watch a match, somebody will get lightly bumped or slapped and the next thing you know he's rolling on the ground like he just got shot in the knee. 20 seconds later, he's right back on his feet and running. WTF. How has this not been regulated by the sport? Shouldn't there at least be a yellow card for blatant embellishment? Again, I know there's diving in other sports, but in soccer they behave like unapologetic pusssies and I can't really respect a sport without sportsmanship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ieatcrayonz Posted May 26, 2010 Author Share Posted May 26, 2010 If there's one thing that stops me from watching soccer, it's this. Sure, there's diving/embellishing in other sports...but soccer really has it down to a pathetic tee. It seems like everytime I watch a match, somebody will get lightly bumped or slapped and the next thing you know he's rolling on the ground like he just got shot in the knee. 20 seconds later, he's right back on his feet and running. WTF. How has this not been regulated by the sport? Shouldn't there at least be a yellow card for blatant embellishment? Again, I know there's diving in other sports, but in soccer they behave like unapologetic pusssies and I can't really respect a sport without sportsmanship. Hand out some isotoners and they'd all be Glove Wearing Marys. I think the faking at least provides some entertainment and I'd leave that the way it is today. One thing I'd change is when they all stand in a line with their hands in front of their nuts. THAT should be outlawed right there. If they're going to build a wall and make a goal impossible, they should be willing to pay the price. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meazza Posted May 26, 2010 Share Posted May 26, 2010 If there's one thing that stops me from watching soccer, it's this. Sure, there's diving/embellishing in other sports...but soccer really has it down to a pathetic tee. It seems like everytime I watch a match, somebody will get lightly bumped or slapped and the next thing you know he's rolling on the ground like he just got shot in the knee. 20 seconds later, he's right back on his feet and running. WTF. How has this not been regulated by the sport? Shouldn't there at least be a yellow card for blatant embellishment? Again, I know there's diving in other sports, but in soccer they behave like unapologetic pusssies and I can't really respect a sport without sportsmanship. Yellow cards are usually given for diving but not embellishment. I.e. if i fall to the ground because I WAS fouled and try to milk it, I'm not carded. On the other hand, if I dive and there was no foul, I could get carded. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted May 26, 2010 Share Posted May 26, 2010 They could EASILY eliminate diving by penalizing the player after the fact. Kind of like hockey? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meazza Posted May 26, 2010 Share Posted May 26, 2010 Kind of like hockey? Much harder to dive in hockey. The field of play is much smaller and more refs to see everything. Also, contrary to fact, NHL refs are legally blind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SageAgainstTheMachine Posted May 26, 2010 Share Posted May 26, 2010 Yellow cards are usually given for diving but not embellishment. I.e. if i fall to the ground because I WAS fouled and try to milk it, I'm not carded. On the other hand, if I dive and there was no foul, I could get carded. Ok, well at least you can be penalized for it (though I've never personally seen this happen). But even outside the context of the game, why can't these guys act like men and dust themselves off instead of screaming bloody murder? Just a huge turnoff for me. Did you catch the Blackhawks game where Duncan Keith had seven teeth knocked clean out by a puck...he's back now, no worse for the wear. Soccer players could learn a lesson from that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magox Posted May 26, 2010 Share Posted May 26, 2010 Ok, well at least you can be penalized for it (though I've never personally seen this happen). But even outside the context of the game, why can't these guys act like men and dust themselves off instead of screaming bloody murder? Just a huge turnoff for me. Did you catch the Blackhawks game where Duncan Keith had seven teeth knocked clean out by a puck...he's back now, no worse for the wear. Soccer players could learn a lesson from that. World class soccer players could give two sh*ts about your opinion on what lessons they could learn from Duncan Keith. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SageAgainstTheMachine Posted May 26, 2010 Share Posted May 26, 2010 World class soccer players could give two sh*ts about your opinion on what lessons they could learn from Duncan Keith. I don't suffer any delusion that soccer players care about my opinion. That doesn't alter the validity of anything I've said IMO. I like soccer, I just can't enjoy it nearly as much as I should because of this pet peeve. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cugalabanza Posted May 26, 2010 Share Posted May 26, 2010 Much harder to dive in hockey. The field of play is much smaller and more refs to see everything. Yes! I'm completely against instant replay in soccer (the debate is getting hotter), but I would like to see two more refs. It would expose the diving, which is hurting the game. My opinion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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