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So just found out my Fiance has been cheating on me


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Well since you know the story so well I guess you must know me. :) I ended up hooking up with my friends ex f-buddy who he hadn't been talking to for about 6 months and who he treated like crap. They were never really ever together. Right after that I met my fiance and settled down a lot (a lot changes between 25-27, or at least it did for me). I grew up a lot and settled down, thought I was starting a new chapter in my life. Guess it wasn't the case.

 

No, that was a new chapter. Just, in your book, there was a not-so-great character included in those pages. Don't think that you haven't grown or haven't learned anything... I'm not a bible-thumper but I do believe there's a reason for everything that happens. There will be subsequent chapters where lessons learned in this chapter help you.

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Been there. Hang in there man and don't do anything stupid. Don't beat anybody up, make drunken late night phone calls or send stupid texts that could come back to bite you. Deep breaths, go out with your buddies, and try to pick up a slumpbuster.

 

Good luck.

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Well since you know the story so well I guess you must know me. :) I ended up hooking up with my friends ex f-buddy who he hadn't been talking to for about 6 months and who he treated like crap. They were never really ever together. Right after that I met my fiance and settled down a lot (a lot changes between 25-27, or at least it did for me). I grew up a lot and settled down, thought I was starting a new chapter in my life. Guess it wasn't the case.

 

:lol:

 

My apologies for assuming RayFinkle had the correct version of the story.

 

Take care of yourself.

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It's in our DNA to want revenge but TRUST ME on this: sooner or later you'll end up looking back and wishing you just moved on. No matter how good revenge might feel now, you'll end up hating yourself for wasting any energy on this person. I'm sure others that have gone throw similar situations will agree.

 

So move on, learn from this experience and you be better off tomorrow than you were yesterday.

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yeah man, I've been there too. Maybe even twice, actually. it's in our nature to expect a good reason for someone doing something so horrible. Don't expect one. the smartest thing I did after my current breakup was to immediately purge my phone and computer of all of her contact information. Luckily she's deploying to afghanistan in a couple weeks--I'll never have to see her again thankfully. But removing the temptation of contact was the one healthy thing i did.

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yeah man, I've been there too. Maybe even twice, actually. it's in our nature to expect a good reason for someone doing something so horrible. Don't expect one. the smartest thing I did after my current breakup was to immediately purge my phone and computer of all of her contact information. Luckily she's deploying to afghanistan in a couple weeks--I'll never have to see her again thankfully. But removing the temptation of contact was the one healthy thing i did.

 

So let me get this straight: You deleted her contact information from your computer and phone and thereby made it hard to contact her. Because you...now had to punch in her phone number or email or chat name manually?

 

Let me guess: This relationship is based only in Second Life.

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I saw the woman who left me for another guy in a bar recently. I went away to college and came back and caught her with a friend. We weren't engaged but as close as you can be. When I saw her we talked a bit, now keep in mind this was 25 years later and she's still very hot. I told her that I had thanked the guy she cheated with many years ago and she asked me why. I told her because of him I'm with my wife and not her. Booooya!!

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So let me get this straight: You deleted her contact information from your computer and phone and thereby made it hard to contact her. Because you...now had to punch in her phone number or email or chat name manually?

 

Let me guess: This relationship is based only in Second Life.

 

nope, I just don't remember phone numbers or e-mail addresses. it's all saved so I don't bother. I have memorized exactly no one's telephone number or e-mail address. Or actual address. If I delete someone's information I have no way of ever getting in touch with them (unless I go stalking on one of those social network thingys). Sometimes you have got to appreciate the alienating aspects of modern technology. Almost makes me want to google second life to figure out what it is. Almost.

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I saw the woman who left me for another guy in a bar recently. I went away to college and came back and caught her with a friend. We weren't engaged but as close as you can be. When I saw her we talked a bit, now keep in mind this was 25 years later and she's still very hot. I told her that I had thanked the guy she cheated with many years ago and she asked me why. I told her because of him I'm with my wife and not her. Booooya!!

 

Question: Did you actually say "Booooya!!"?

 

Follow up: Was there a celebratory dance involved?

 

:)

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Question: Did you actually say "Booooya!!"?

 

Follow up: Was there a celebratory dance involved?

 

<_<

 

Yes on the pool table with a beer in each hand, my pants at my ankles singing "you want it but you can't have it!"

 

I caught her and my wife making out in the parking lot later that evening. :thumbsup:

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Well since you know the story so well I guess you must know me. :thumbsup: I ended up hooking up with my friends ex f-buddy who he hadn't been talking to for about 6 months and who he treated like crap. They were never really ever together. Right after that I met my fiance and settled down a lot (a lot changes between 25-27, or at least it did for me). I grew up a lot and settled down, thought I was starting a new chapter in my life. Guess it wasn't the case.

 

 

I apologize I posted before seeing your answer......if this is the scenario you didnt do anything out of sort....

 

Look....the most common advice you are getting here is absolutely true.....you can look at this glass is half empty or full...the fact of the matter is she did you a huge favor by doing this BEFORE you tied the knott and had kids....because after that it gets a lot tougher and puts you in a pickle.......

 

I really dont understand why people cheat after they get married.....the person you marry needs to be a life partner.....this person had either no morals or simply was not ready at this point in her life to make that committment.

 

I have been married for 19 years to my wife......and the opportunities have been there........I have NEVER strayed and I have all confidence that my wife didn't either.........

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it was either albert einstein or 'norman' edison that said he never bothered to remember peoples phone numbers or addresses as he knew where he could find a resource that did it for him(ie...phone book)...he chose not to clutter his mind with information that could be readily found elsewhere with minimal effort...of course that could simply be an urban legend, but i think i read it in the "One Minute Manager" over 25 years ago

 

nope, I just don't remember phone numbers or e-mail addresses. it's all saved so I don't bother. I have memorized exactly no one's telephone number or e-mail address. Or actual address. If I delete someone's information I have no way of ever getting in touch with them (unless I go stalking on one of those social network thingys). Sometimes you have got to appreciate the alienating aspects of modern technology. Almost makes me want to google second life to figure out what it is. Almost.
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One thing that you might want to consider is to give her the impression (true or not) that you don't give a sh*t any more and that you are over the whole thing. The sooner you get to that stage, the better for you and the more it will piss her off that you moved on.

 

As others have said, just move on and don't do anything stupid. She will look like an idiot with her family. In the meantime, there are plenty of other women out there as you know. You will end up meeting someone else with whom you will want to spend your life with and you will be thankful that this whole episode happened.

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it was either albert einstein or 'norman' edison that said he never bothered to remember peoples phone numbers or addresses as he knew where he could find a resource that did it for him(ie...phone book)...he chose not to clutter his mind with information that could be readily found elsewhere with minimal effort...of course that could simply be an urban legend, but i think i read it in the "One Minute Manager" over 25 years ago

Sorry Pooj, that was me.

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