EndZoneCrew Posted January 28, 2010 Author Share Posted January 28, 2010 Jerry: "OK, fine. 'What do I have to do to put you in this van today?'" Kramer, pointing to the newspaper ad: "Well, I don't really have any money. But it says right here, 'interesting trades considered'." Jerry: "You put that in!" Kramer, pulling out an undershirt: "And I'm glad I did. Here." Jerry: "You want to trade me an undershirt?" Kramer:______________________________________________ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BB27 Posted January 30, 2010 Share Posted January 30, 2010 Kramer: "No, I want to trade you screen legend Anthony Quinn's undershirt. He took this off to do sit-ups in the park and I nabbed it." Jerry: "That's disgusting." Kramer: "Well, it's my final offer." ----------------------------------- Kramer: Hey buddy. Jerry: Hey. Kramer: Hey, you should come over. Tonight's pipe night. Jerry: What? What happened to your face? It looks like an old catcher's mitt. Kramer: What? Kramer checks it out. Kramer: My face is all craggly, it's crinkly. Jerry: It's from all that smoke. You've experienced a lifetime of smoking in 72 hours. What did you expect? Kramer: Emphysema, birth defects, cancer. But not this. Jerry, my face is my livelihood. Everything I have I owe to this face. Jerry: And your teeth, your teeth are all brown. Kramer:_________________________________ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EndZoneCrew Posted January 30, 2010 Author Share Posted January 30, 2010 Kramer: "No, I want to trade you screen legend Anthony Quinn's undershirt. Hetook this off to do sit-ups in the park and I nabbed it." Jerry: "That's disgusting." Kramer: "Well, it's my final offer." ----------------------------------- Kramer: Hey buddy. Jerry: Hey. Kramer: Hey, you should come over. Tonight's pipe night. Jerry: What? What happened to your face? It looks like an old catcher's mitt. Kramer: What? Kramer checks it out. Kramer: My face is all craggly, it's crinkly. Jerry: It's from all that smoke. You've experienced a lifetime of smoking in 72 hours. What did you expect? Kramer: Emphysema, birth defects, cancer. But not this. Jerry, my face is my livelihood. Everything I have I owe to this face. Jerry: And your teeth, your teeth are all brown. Kramer:_________________________________ Kramer: Look away, I'm hideous Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Special K Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 GEORGE: What is it you do, anyway? NEWMAN: I work for the United States Postal Service. GEORGE: Aren't those the people who go crazy and kill all of their co-workers? NEWMAN: Sometimes. JERRY: Why is that???? NEWMAN:________________________________________________________________ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BB27 Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Newman: Because the mail never stops. It just keeps coming and coming and coming, there's never a let-up. It's relentless. Every day it piles up more and more and more! And you gotta get it out but the more you get it out the more it keeps coming in. And then the bar code reader breaks and it's *Publisher's Clearing House* day!!! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Elaine: George I was just reading this thing in the papers, it's amazing! George: I know I was just telling them the story. Kramer: Come on George, finish the story. George: The sea was angry that day my friends, like an old man trying to return soup at a deli! George: I got about fifty-feet out and then suddenly the great beast appeared before me. I tell ya he was ten stories high if he was a foot. As if sensing my presence he gave out a big bellow. I said, "Easy big fella!" And then as I watched him struggling I realized something was obstructing his breathing. From where I was standing I could see directly into the eye of the great fish! Jerry: Mammal. George: Whatever. Kramer: Well, what did you do next? George: Then from out of nowhere a huge title wave lifted, tossed like a cork and I found myself on top of him face to face with the blow-hole. I could barely see from all of the waves crashing down on top of me but I knew something was there so I reached my hand and pulled out the obstruction! Kramer:_________________________________________________________ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Jack Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 George: Then from out of nowhere a huge title wave lifted, tossed like a cork and I found myself on top of him face to face with the blow-hole. I could barely see from all of the waves crashing down on top of me but I knew something was there so I reached my hand and pulled out the obstruction! Kramer:_________________________________________________________ Is that a Titleist? ...... George Costanza: Kramer goes to a fantasy camp? His whole life is a fantasy camp. __________________________________________________ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Special K Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Is that a Titleist? ...... George Costanza: Kramer goes to a fantasy camp? His whole life is a fantasy camp. __________________________________________________ GEORGE: People should plunk down $10,000 to live like him for a week......do nothing, fall a**-backward into money, and have sex without dating. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Special K Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 GEORGE: People should plunk down $10,000 to live like him for a week......do nothing, fall a**-backward into money, and have sex without dating.-------------------------------------------------------------------------- Edit: I think I left off the part: "mooch food off your neighbor" in that quote. GEORGE: I have the ability to sense even the slightest bit of human suffering. JERRY:__________________________________________ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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