tennesseeboy Posted January 15, 2010 Share Posted January 15, 2010 A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard which is full and bushy. “Are you the landlord?” she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands. “Actually, no,” he replies. “Can you get him for me - I need to speak to him,” she says, running her hands up beyond his beard and into his hair. I am afraid I can’t” breathes the barman - clearly aroused. “Is there anything I can do?” “Yes there is. I need you to give him a message,” she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently. “Tell him that there’s no toilet paper in the ladies room.” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mead107 Posted January 15, 2010 Share Posted January 15, 2010 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
erynthered Posted January 15, 2010 Share Posted January 15, 2010 The economy is so bad that: I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail. I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?" CEO's are now playing miniature golf. If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them. Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM. McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer. Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names. A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico. Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting. Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore. The Mafia is laying off judges. Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen. Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear! And, finally..., I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Lifeline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MattyT Posted January 15, 2010 Share Posted January 15, 2010 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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