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Posted

Speaking of Jesus:

 

Jesus is watching you . . .

 

 

 

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said,

 

'Jesus knows you're here.'

 

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze.

 

When he heard nothing more , after a bit, he shook his head and continued.

 

Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard

 

'Jesus is watching you.'

 

Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.

 

Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

 

 

'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.

 

'Yep', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he is watching you.'

 

The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'

 

'Moses,' replied the bird.

 

'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'

 

'The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'

 

 

 

Jesus

Posted
Damn I wish I could get this camera to work. I have this tortilla shell that looks just like Charleston Heston.

 

:death:

 

What role?

 

 

That's not Jesus. It's Charlie Manson. :D

 

:blush:

Posted

One of my favorite Simpsons scenes is when homer is sitting on the couch with God and God says "Now if you'll excuse me I have to appear on a tortilla in Mexico."

Posted
10 commandments of course. I have another one that looks like Yul Brenner but every time I get it out these %&@$* freaking locusts appear.

 

My Yul Brenner can't stop dancing! :thumbsup:

Posted
Charlie Manson isn't responsible for a fraction of the deaths as Jesus and Mohammed

 

 

Yeah, but his batting average is much higher.

Posted

Looking at the title of the thread and I'm thinking it might be a case of "Mis-heard lyrics":

 

Hey, (hey!)

Zeus, (Zeus!)

Get offa

My Car!

 

I heard Tiger was "found lying in the street outside of his wrecked car with no shoes and snoring loudly." So what - now he's Peter Griffin?

 

It's been one of those days. (Sigh)

Posted
Charlie Manson isn't responsible for a fraction of the deaths as Jesus and Mohammed

 

And Jesus and Mohammed aren't responsible for a fraction of the deaths as Stalin, Lenin, Mao, Hitler, Mussolini, Ho Chi Minh, Pol Pot, the Khmer Rouge, Idi Amin, Tojo, and other atheistic notables...

Posted
And Jesus and Mohammed aren't responsible for a fraction of the deaths as Stalin, Lenin, Mao, Hitler, Mussolini, Ho Chi Minh, Pol Pot, the Khmer Rouge, Idi Amin, Tojo, and other atheistic notables...

 

Hitler was a Christian. And 9/11 was a "faith-based initiative".

 

Some people are good. Some people are evil. Your god made all of them. Get over it.

 

:thumbsup:

Posted
Hitler was a Christian. And 9/11 was a "faith-based initiative".

 

Some people are good. Some people are evil. Your god made all of them. Get over it.

 

:thumbsup:

 

 

Go enter the same reply to dev/nulls's post.

 

Funny how folks without belief go out of thier way to fling calumny on religion, isn't it? That's telling...

 

Get over it.

 

:thumbsup:

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