From the Home Office in Wahoo, Nebraska...
An Exclusive Un-Aired Top Ten List
Cut From a Recent Broadcast
Top Ten Plaxico Burress Excuses
10. Leg was itchy
9. Wanted to free up my Sundays so I could watch "Desperate Housewives"
8. Pants were too damn tight
7. Whoever heard of an NFL player doing something asinine
6. Misheard coach's instructions to get good night's sleep as "shoot self in leg at nightclub"
5. It's not like I need two legs in my line of work
4. Hey, don't hassle the Plax
3. Uh, bad economy
2. I had money on the Eagles
1. Actually, that crazy Alaskan lady shot me with a hunting rifle